#tlong

i actually became a bad guy because of this ... '' u do remember how our previous long distance relationships ended right? after one of them, we ended up not talking for a year ...A YEAR! thats so much!.. in the other two cases it was 6months, smth like that .... i just dont want that to happen again ...thats all ... werent u feeling bad after those break ups?? not talking for a year? there were so many occasions when i wanted to just say ''hello,'' just to get your response, but i didnt , cuz we broke up ... it felt lame even tho i was behind the keyboard, screen...... and that feeling is dreadful, i dont want that again ...it makes u unhappy, its a bitter feeling ... you are thinking like , ''no i wont say nothing '' we broke up n stuff.., but in ur head, ur hoping that you could say smth ... but u dont , cuz we ended up in a bad manner ..

and in those 3 relationships that we had ,we obviously didnt learned nothing after the 1st, 2nd, or the 3rd relationship that we had...otherwise things would develop differently...

even tho we are more matured, wiser , etc... it would be the same scenario if another attempt of long distance relat. would go down the drain ... we wont talk for a long time again,...

....thats all, thats why im saying, to make it official when we're face to face ... i dont want to be in long distance relationship, and if we break up , we'r back to stage one after the break up... i dont want that ... it fckin sucks ..it blows. it feels like we are strangers ...

and i dont want that , cuz we always have fun when we talk and its supernice.....but when the story ends , well...im affraid of that ... ...

and do believe im not seeing myself as a super wanted, hotshot , ''in love with myself'' guy, to make women wait for me...fuck no ... and im not like that ...i despise people who are like that ... i feel privileged to even know a girl like u.. i'd never ever thought id get so close with a girl llike u ...

im just in that kind of situation ...money is preventing me to fulfill what i want, money controls my life, thats why i was saying ''to wait'', cuz theres no other way.... i know that all the talk about money is an excuse , but its also the truth...and im doiing the best i can to get out of this messy shit.....and if i would have the money, id most likely be outta here by now ...

so feel/see/understand this as u wish .... but im sorry ... if u think i wanted to hurt u .... NO ...