#tld meta

Most meta I’ve seen on TLD seem to say that Culverton Smith is a John mirror and that the secret Culverton can’t tell anyone even though he’s desperate to do so is that John is in love with Sherlock. The backing for this interpretation is good, but I would like to propose an alternative reading, one in which Culverton is actually a mirror for Mary.

If the entirety of S4 is Sherlock’s mind palace, it seems to me that each episode is Sherlock trying to figure out how to understand and deal with a particular person. TST is Mary, TLD is John and TFP is himself. And the way he does this is to split people up into two main characters, one of which is the actual person (Mary, John, Sherlock) and the other is a mirror (Culverton, Faith, Eurus – a mirror of the opposite sex, actually, perhaps that’s one of the concepts that Moftiss were trying to introduce with TAB? – see this meta).

Each of these person-mirror constellations show different sides of the person. In the meta here, I’ve already argued that Sherlock is the good man with lowered intelligence and heightened emotion, the “John” Sherlock, and Eurus is the great man with heightened intelligence and lowered emotion, the “Jim” Sherlock. Now I would like to propose another one of these person-mirror constellations. In TLD, Mary is the persona Mary Watson, the façade that she maintains on the outside, and Culverton is the real “Mary”, who she really is inside.

To explain this, I have to start with TST and why Mary represents the false persona Mary Watson. To do this, I must first establish Vivian Norbury as a Mary mirror. It makes sense: they both have a secret identity, they’re both mistaken for being Lady Smallwood (deliberately or not), they both love cats and they’re both bored in their “normal” lives.

Sherlock: I favour widowed, given the number of cats you share your life with. Two Burmese and a tortoiseshell, judging by the cat hairs on your cardigan.

Sherlock: Can’t have been easy all those years, sitting in the back keeping your mouth shut when you knew you were cleverer than most of the people in the room.

Vivian: I didn’t do this out of jealousy!

Sherlock: No? Same old drudge, day in, day out, never getting out there where all the excitement was.

Vivian: My secret was safe. But apparently not. Just a little peace. That’s all you wanted too, wasn’t it? A family? Home? Really, I understand.

Vivian: We’re like them. Ghostly, living in the shadows.

Sherlock: Predatory.

Vivian: Well, depends which side you’re on.

So if Vivian Norbury is Mary… In TST Vivian shoots Sherlock, but Mary jumps in front of the bullet (nevermind physics), takes the bullet and ends up dying from the wound. If Vivian is Mary, then Mary’s death scene in TST is basically Mary shooting Sherlock, but ending up killing herself. How should we understand this? Well, it makes sense if Mary’s “death” in TST is actually not the death of Mary the person, but a mind palace representation of the death of Mary’s false persona in HLV.

In HLV, Mary shoots Sherlock, but he doesn’t die. And because he doesn’ die, he’s able to reveal Mary’s real identity to John, i.e. kill Mary’s false persona. So Mary shoots Sherlock, but ends up killing herself.

This makes it clear that Mary in S4 represents Mary the false persona. From here on out, I’ll use Mary Watson to refer to the persona and real “Mary” to refer to the actual person.

So...

By the beginning of TLD, Mary (Mary Watson) is dead, but John continues to see her around the house and hear her speak to him. Now we can interpret this as a representation of Mary Watson the persona being “dead” (proved to be a fake), but the person “Mary” still being there, being present in John’s life. She’s like a ghost. She’s there and John has to interact with her, but at the same time, she isn’t real.

She isn’t really there, because it’s no longer the woman John knew.

That John blames Sherlock for Mary’s death at the beginning of TLD might be interpreted as Sherlock feeling guilty about having exposed Mary in HLV and thus ruined John and Mary’s relationship. He feels responsible.

At the same time, we’re introduced to Culverton Smith, i.e. the real “Mary”. To explain why I see Culverton as a stand-in for the real “Mary”, I’ll go ahead with the interpretation, see where it leads and in that way try to convince you that it makes sense.

So if Culverton is real “Mary”, what can we say about her?

She has a secret that she can’t tell anyone, that secret being that she likes to and feels compelled to kill people. Let’s face it, you don’t end up being an assassin because they weren’t hiring at the post office that week. You end up being an assassin either because you feel compelled to kill people for a greater course or because you simply like to kill people.

She has a need to confess/expose herself, but doesn’t want to do this unless she can unsay it, unless she can take it back afterwards or say it to someone who isn’t going to expose her because they’re either dead or dying.

She does care about at least one person – Faith/John.

She’s a “public persona” admired for all her charitable work and help despite the fact that her true nature does tend to leak through at times. This is an important connection between Culverton and “Mary” that needs a bit more explanation. Just look at how Sherlock describes this aspect of Culverton: They’re always poor and lonely and strange. But those are only the ones we catch… What if you were rich and powerful and necessary? What if you had the compulsion to kill and money? Basically the idea here is that you’re not suspected of anything that terrible if you’re known to be sociable and altruistic and kind and a lot of people depend on you. And wouldn’t you know it, the very first shot we ever get of Mary in the show is her supporting John and helping him to deal with Sherlock’s death. John has been heavily dependent on Mary in Sherlock’s absence, which has made him overlook how her real nature occasionally shines through, both in instances where she reveals some of her skillset such as recognizing a skip code or remembering a specific room number and in instances where she is being somewhat less than nice and actually quite derogatory. Also, notice that Mary specifically says that she has “lots of friends” in TSoT. Mary is definitely both social and needed, which allows her real nature to remain undetected and even gives her enough leeway to occasionally be derogatory without anyone holding her responsible for that. Just like Culverton.

So if Culverton is real “Mary”, then what TLD is actually about is this:

TST closes with Mary (Mary Watson) dying/being exposed as fake when she shoots Sherlock non-fatally. TLD opens with Culverton (“Mary”) revealing her true nature in front of a room of people, including Faith/John, but then actually being able to unsay it afterwards so that no one remembers! This is an absurd moment in TLD. The “memory inhibiter” is frankly ludicrous. BUT it makes sense if we compare to HLV: Sherlock exposes Mary as a fake, some of Mary’s past and true nature is revealed to John and yet Mary suffers no consequences! John plainly tells her that the problems of her past are her problems, basically that he’s taking her back no questions asked and he doesn’t want to know anything else. He even burns the MEMORY stick, metaphorically burning his memory of her past and true identity.

Sherlock then spends a huge part of the episode convinced that Faith/John is on his side against Culverton/Mary, that Faith/John has seen through the façade and is interested in bringing Culverton/Mary down. His world crumbles when he finds out that that’s not the case, that Faith/John has forgotten all about the confession and has taken Culverton/Mary back.

This is the morgue scene. In the morgue, John starts out on Sherlock’s side and Sherlock starts out thinking that Faith/John is also on his side: Sherlock thinks John trusts him about Mary’s real nature and is also interested in bringing her down. Then it’s revealed that Faith/John has forgotten everything, that Sherlock never met her/him, that it’s all something he imagined and he now has no proof.

The morgue scene in TLD is a representation of the confrontation scene in HLV.

During the morgue scene, the situation changes from Sherlock exposing Culverton/Mary in front of Faith/John to Sherlock making things up about Culverton/Mary just to get some attention and because he’s high.

Likewise, during the confrontation scene, the situation changes from Sherlock exposing Mary in front of John to Sherlock making things up about Mary that results in John giving Mary a second chance.

In HLV, we get the feeling that Sherlock chooses to help Mary. Even though he knows it wasn’t surgery, he lies on her behalf to make her actions more excusable to John and he invites her to join him in telling this lie. In TLD, though, we see how he actually feels during this. And he doesn’t feel in control. He feels as someone who’s losing everything he holds dear, who sees everything he’s been working for slipping through his fingers, who sees John lose (F)aith in him, who sees John upset and lonely and insecure and blames himself for that. He feels as someone who’s scrambling to pick up the pieces, yet failing to get something out of them. Sherlock himself questions if he can tell the difference between what’s real or what’s not. He isn’t in control: he’s falling apart in body and mind and he’s acting irrationally because his emotions have overwhelmed his judgement completely. That’s what we see in TLD, but what it describes is HLV.

Sherlock’s heartbreak at this

is shown by this

Sherlock’s betrayal at this

is shown by this

And Sherlock’s guilt at this

is shown by this

Oh God. If one day I can see the morgue scene without feeling as though my heart’s being ripped out of my chest, assume I’ve died.

So what about the ending of the episode? Well… here we have to leave HLV because the ending of TLD is not a metaphorical mind palace representation of events in HLV, but instead Sherlock’s solution to that problem.

TLD problem: Sherlock indirectly caused Mary’s death, so now John is lonely and heartbroken, but he won’t accept any help.

Actual problem: Sherlock exposed Mary’s true identity, indirectly killing the persona Mary Watson, so now John is lonely and heartbroken, but he won’t accept any help.

John still clings to Mary because he has no one else to turn to. There is a difference between looking away (from Mary) and looking to (Sherlock).

TLD-level solution: Well, sing me off fake persona Mary Watson.

Mary: Don’t think anyone else is going to save him, because there isn’t anyone. It’s up to you. Save him… John Watson never accepts help, not from anyone. Not ever. But here’s the thing: he never refuses it. So, here’s what you are going to do. You can’t save John because he won’t let you. He won’t allow himself to be saved. The only way to save John... is to make him save you. Go to Hell, Sherlock. Go right into Hell, and make it look like you mean it. Go and pick a fight with a bad guy. Put yourself in harm’s way. If he thinks you need him, I swear he will be there.

This is where we are: Sherlock is in hospital. Culverton/Mary is killing him. And John is going to save him. Sherlock has made it look like he means it. He’s gone to Hell, gone and picked a fight with a bad guy.

Now it’s up to John to save him.

(And Sherlock’s subconscious longs for John to heroically barge into the room, fire pump in hand, and rip said bad guy off him.)

Now, this entire meta relies on all or much of HLV being real. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that the Christmas scene where John takes Mary back has to have happened. Rather, I think it could work with a timeline, in which the confrontation at Baker Street happens, Sherlock realises that John is going to give Mary at least a little of the benefit of the doubt due to what Sherlock has said - “You can trust Mary, she saved my life” and so on - Sherlock goes into cardiac arrest, is taken to the hospital... and this is where we’re at now. But the point of this meta has not been to discuss timelines. It’s been to make a case for my particular interpretation of TLD. Thank you for reading.

‘The Perfume of the Lady in Black’ takes place inside a dark fort by the sea, where people run from one place to another and the bad guy plays with everyone’s perceptions. He is presumed dead, but everyone suspects he’s actually alive and has taken the identity of one of the guests staying in the fort.

Moffat and Gatiss went to great lengths to reference the books, at the opening of The Abominable Bride:

A lady in black. And the actual dialogue:

- Her perfume?

If these concrete examples are not enough to link these books to BBC Sherlock, we can see their intent for S4 in Knox’ opinion on the books:

“Leaves a whole unexplained problem” and “Long and cumbrous”. That is certainly accurate for both books (and for The Final Problem). And,

Calling Gaston Leroux “a bungler” for drawing on the “long lost relative” cliché is like our exact reaction when we learned about Eurus Holmes.

All of this is like a damn arrow pointing at those books.

The parallels between The Final Problem and this book are really obvious. The case itself is of no importance, but it does have an interesting subplot.

Disaster to you, Watson.

The subplot is what makes the books relevant for us:

- Joseph Rouletabille, the investigator/journalist, is known to be an orphan. His true identity (who is he related to) is hidden from all the secondary characters but not from the main ones and the readers. We learn at the start of the second book (most of the readers actually can deduce so at the end of the first book), that Rouletabille is actually the son of the main villain and his victim, the Lady in Black. 

- Such a fact changes his life, brings him both great joy (he finally finds his mother, the woman with the exquisite perfume) and deep anguish (he’s the son of a vicious and cunning criminal as well) and influences his actions from the moment he finds out and on.  The subject of his true identity becomes the real drama of the story.

- Gaston Leroux, the books’ writer, places himself in a explicit way in ‘The Perfume of the Lady in Black’. He “meets” Rouletabille as a child; and nine years later, as Editor in Chief of Le Matin, Leroux offers him a job as a journalist. 

- The author also adresses Rouletabille’s identity crisis subtextually right from the start. In the first book ‘The Mystery of the Yellow Room’. Rouletabille narrates how the unnamed ‘Editor in Chief’ (a.k.a. Gaston Leroux) asked him what his name was:

“- Joseph Josephin. -That’s not a name. But since you will not be required to sign what you write, it is of no consequence.”

And so Joseph leaves behind his orphan’s last name and takes Rouletabille, a nickname his coworkers had for him, as his own. (Rouletabille means ‘roulette ball’)

Have you ever read a line more meta? A writer dismissing his own self insert as an author, denying him a real name and starting an identity crisis for his character right from the beginning… 

At first readers can relate this Rouletabille character to Sherlock. Yes, he certainly behaves like an absolute nightmare and has great powers of deduction. But Rouletabille is first and foremost a journalist, a writer; and his dilemma as an orphan reminds us of the remarkable lack of information there is about John Watson’s family.

So the drama is centered around the writer’s name, the one that doesn’t make it into the published articles (therefore unknown to many), the name that “is not a name”.  Who is the author in S4? John Hamish Watson. What name is being obliterated by the author himself? What name is not mentioned at all in season 4?

Hamish.

We learned about John’s middle name in ASIB, and during TSOT was not only discussed but became the key to that episode’s case. Magnussen knows John’s full name in HLV, and in TAB we saw a variation of Hamish in posters promoting a THEATER PLAY.

In TAB, the posters are not featured clearly during the episode, but they’re located in one of the scenes with more meta meaning. The Street scene.

Fortunately we saw them displayed in full during setlock. Those posters are clues for S4, waiting to be decoded.  Just to give you a preview, Smith is mentioned, lots of Johns, grand illusions, wax figures, and “To Conclude, at 10 pm, With A Grand Display of FIREWORKS”

 So we have a poster promoting a play, in a scene retelling the actual facts. A play within a play (within a play), where an ideal man, all smiles, is just part of an act. A fabrication. Brecht would be proud.

Hamish can be the most queer coded word in BBC Sherlock. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please read immediately these metas and also this one  by @heimishtheidealhusband. They are a must to understand the importance of John Watson’s middle name.

The name is so loaded with symbolism and subtext it may be the most important word in the show. Hamish is the key to John’s mystery. And yet, we don’t hear or see the word ‘Hamish’ anywhere in S4. Not once. We just get a hint of the name in a scene where is clear we’re looking at a twisted version of the show.

He goes as far as to have people say is not his writing, is not HIS name the one behind the blog, on the episode with the most evil version of himself. (Please notice how Culverton Smith’s face is behind Nurse Cornish)

What interest could John have in hiding his name if we all know it? If the characters know it?  After all there’s ASIB and TSOT where Hamish was mentioned to exhaustion. Even in HLV Magnussen knows his full name. It’s because in s4 we’re in a world where text is at subtext’s service; is not his actual name he’s hiding. Is what IT MEANS.

As heimishtheidealhusband said, Hamish is a symbol of John’s queer identity. This is why we almost don’t recognize him in s4. He’s hiding his true identity from everyone. 

Is just one word, so full of meaning, a word he worked hard to conceal from everyone and only let it show when he married a woman. 

One word that could turn his world upside down.

One. Word.

Where in S4 can we find a mystery around one word? A name?

Sherlock:  You said your life turned on one word. Faith a.k.a. John’s most blatant stand-in in S4:  Yes. The name of the person MY FATHER WANTED TO KILL.

We learn very soon into the episode that Mary is John’s subconscious, she is inside his head. An externalisation of his guilt and his way of arguing with himself. She also does deductions (but remember it is always John who thinks what she says).

Now: The Scene 

Preceding this scene, we see Greg interviewing Culverton who cannot stop confessing. “I never realised confessing would be so enjoyable. I should have done it sooner.”

Side note: I theorise that one layer to this is forshadowing Sherlock’s confession.

Greg has had enough and decides to carry on tomorrow, even though Culverton isn’t tired. He emphasises that he is going to be so famous now that he can “break America”. [I’m sure there’s lots of subtext here but I will add to that later on, if someone else isn’t faster.]

CUT TO: INT. BAKER STREET

SHERLOCK: I had, of course, several other backup plans. Trouble is, I couldn’t remember what they were. And I hadn’t really anticipated that I’d hallucinate meeting his daughter.

MARY: Basically, he trashed himself on drugs so that you’d help him so that you’d have something to do, something doctory. You get that now?

SHERLOCK: Still a bit troubled by the daughter. It did seem very real. She gave me information I couldn’t have acquired elsewhere.

JOHN: But she wasn’t ever here?

SHERLOCK: Interesting, isn’t it? I have theorized before that if one could attenuate to every available data stream in the world simultaneously, it would be possible to anticipate and deduce almost anything.

JOHN: Hm. So you dreamed up a magic woman who told you things you didn’t know.

MARY: Sounds about right to me. Possibly, I’m biased.

SHERLOCK: Perhaps the drugs opened certain doors in my mind. (Beat.) I’m intrigued.

JOHN: Look, I know you are. Which is why we are all taking it in turns to keep you off the sweeties.

SHERLOCK: I thought we were just hanging out.

That was the first phrase that tripped me up. I’m too tired to look into it, but I vaguely recall something about Sherlock using this phrase before (or John) in reference to a date... 

Will fill this in as soon as I recall/look it up. 

JOHN: Molly will be here in 20 minutes.

SHERLOCK: Oh, I do think I can last 20 minutes without supervision.

JOHN: (thinks this over) Well, if you’re sure.

MARY: Christ, John, stay! Talk!

JOHN: Uh, sorry, it’s just, um, you know. Rosie.

SHERLOCK: Ah, yes, of course, Rosie.

MARY: Go and solve a crime together. Make him wear the hat.

JOHN: You’ll be okay for 20 minutes?

SHERLOCK: Yes - yes. Sorry, I wasn’t thinking of Rosie.

JOHN: No problem.

Sherlock: I should, er, come and see her soon.

JOHN: Yes.

MARY: Actually, he should wear the hat as a special tribute to me. I’m dead. I would really appreciate it.

(John goes to door.)

NOW. This. First of all, 20 minutes was also the time Sherlock estimated it would take Culverton’s daughter to arrive. (Which I’m sure has deeper meaning than I can currently put my finger on.)

[EDIT: @the-7-percent-solution, @teaandforeshadowing , @marcespot and @ifyouarelookingforbabynames might have cracked the code of the 20 Minutes (here). 20 Minutes into each of the episode, we get moments that support Johnlock being endgame ]

What’s going on here, then? Sherlock says he is going to be fine, not go back on the sweeties, if he is left alone for 20 minutes. John wants to go but Mary - a figment of his subsoncious mind, which has been made clear throughout this episode - tells him to TALK to Sherlock. 

John, however, DEFLECTS immediately by pulling the daughter card. Sherlock suggests he should go see her (Rosie) soon, but I’m sure it’s obvious he also wants the side effect of seeing John at the same time. 

John makes to leave, but Sherlock finds a way to hold him back: 

SHERLOCK: Oh, by the way, the recordings will probably be inadmissible.

(John returns.)

JOHN: Sorry, what?

SHERLOCK: Well, technically, it’s entrapment, so it might get thrown out as evidence. Not that that matters. Apparently he can’t stop confessing.

JOHN: That’s good.

SHERLOCK: Yeah.

(John’s fist clenches. He turns to leave. Mary looks after him from behind Sherlock.)

Same situation: John is on his way out, Sherlock wants to stop him from leaving and asks: 

SHERLOCK: Are you okay?

(John laughs)

JOHN: What, am I…? No, no, I’m not OK. I’m never going to be OK. And we’ll just have to accept that. It is what it is. And what it is is… shit.

MARY: John, do better.

Mary - John’s subconscious - wants John to do better, to TALK about his feelings. He reveals that he does not blame Sherlock for Mary’s death anymore. 

JOHN: You didn’t kill Mary. Mary died saving your life. It was her choice. No one made her do it. No one could ever make her do anything. But the point is: you did not kill her.

SHERLOCK: In saving my life, she conferred a value on it. It is a currency I do not know how to spend.

Subtext: Sherlock thinks he was not worth being saved. He presumably feels residual guilt/etc., but the point is that Sherlock has a very low sense of self-worth right now. 

(Pause. John smiles.)

JOHN: It is what it is.

(Sherlock averts his eyes. John takes a breath.)

JOHN: I’m tomorrow, six till ten. I’ll see you then.

SHERLOCK: Looking forward to it.

JOHN: Yeah.

John makes to leave again but this time Sherlock doesn’t seem to know how to hold him back. Well, Sherlock has been forgiven, even if he doesn’t feel like he deserves it. But the most central thing between them has been resolved. 

Then... Irene Adler texts Sherlock. And John is a clever BAMF like he has been this entire episode and deduces what happened, with help from imaginary Mary. Read: John, in his mind, figures out what the text means, then confronts Sherlock about it. All of a sudden he wants to talk. 

(John exits. The groaning text alert sounds. Sherlock takes a drink from his tea.)

MARY: That noise, that’s a text alert noise?

JOHN: What was that?

SHERLOCK: *looks about* Hmm? What was what?

MARY: That’s the text alert of Irene Adler. She’s the scary mad one, right?

JOHN: That noise.

SHERLOCK: What noise?

MARY: But she’s dead. (Gasps) Oh, I bet she isn’t dead! I bet he saved her. Oh my God. Oh, the posh boy loves the dominatrix. He’s never knowingly under-cliched, is he?

SHERLOCK: John?

JOHN: I’m going to make a deduction.

SHERLOCK: Oh, OK, that’s good.

JOHN: And if my deduction is right, you’re going to be honest and tell me, OK?

SHERLOCK: Ok. Though I should mention that it is possible for any given text alert to become randomly attached to…

JOHN: Happy birthday.

(Mary lowers her hands and smiles triumphantly. Sherlock swallows and nods.)

SHERLOCK: Thank you, John, that’s… very kind of you.

JOHN: Never knew when your birthday was.

SHERLOCK: Well, now you do.

Curious things about this: 

John didn’t know Sherlock’s birthday. 

Which makes Sherlock telling him his full name all the more intimate. 

John was able to not only figure out that Irene Adler is still alive, he ALSO deduced why she was texting Sherlock on that day. Which is... wow, quite a leap, I think. 

Sherlock doesn’t engage him. Now it’s Sherlock who DEFLECTS, the tables are turned. 

JOHN: Seriously, we’re not going to talk about this?

SHERLOCK: Talk about what?

JOHN: I mean, how does it work?

SHERLOCK: How does what work?

JOHN: You and The Woman. Do you go to a discreet Harvester sometimes? (Sherlock closes his eyes.) Is there nights of passion in High Wycombe?

SHERLOCK: Oh, for God’s sakes, I don’t text her back!

John wonders if Sherlock is taking Irene out to DINNER - Harvester is a pub chain that advertises itself to families, as far as I can glean from my quick research. Fitting the ‘If you’re looking for baby names’ comment from ASiB. He even takes the metaphor of dinner = sex to the actual sex, aka nights of passion in High Wycombe. 

As to High Wyncombe: Not certain. It does seem like an idyllic suburban area? It’s located between London and Oxford. It’s Wikipedia page wasn’t very forthcoming with connotations, so if anyone knows what this town signifies on a subtextual level, please let me know? 

Sherlock, however, says he doesn’t text her back. Only later on, he admits that he sometimes does. 

His denial is essential to make John conclude his arc this episode: Sherlock denying he texts back is rather vexing to John, who just lost his wife and has another view on seizing chances when they are presenting themselves to someone: 

JOHN: (laughs) Why not? You bloody moron! She’s out there, she likes you and she’s alive! And do you have the first idea how lucky you are? Yes, she’s a lunatic, she’s a criminal, she’s insanely dangerous. (Mary changes sides in the room.) Trust you to fall for a sociopath!

MARY: Oh, married an assassin!

JOHN: But she’s, you know.

SHERLOCK: What?

(Mary crosses in front of them to the desk on Sherlock’s side.)

JOHN: Just text her back.

SHERLOCK: Why?

JOHN: Because Hugh Wycombe is better than you are currently equipped to understand!

Being with Irene, from John’s current guilt-striken pov, is better than not having anything with someone at all. Sherlock can’t see it because he hasn’t lost anyone like John just did. 

SHERLOCK: I once caught a triple poisoner in High Wycombe.

JOHN: That’s only the beginning, mate.

THIS feels like a key to understanding this dialogue in its entirety, but I’m at least one rewatch way from connecting the dots. 

So far, what I’m thinking re: mentioning the poisoner:  At the hospital, Sherlock already gave away the ending by calling him the “triple poisoner”. So... the end is the beginning, mate. 

The end is the beginning. 

SHERLOCK: As I think I have explained to you many times before, romantic entanglement, while fulfilling for other people…

JOHN: Would complete you as a human being.

SHERLOCK: That doesn’t even mean anything.

JOHN: Just text her, phone her, do something while there’s still a chance, because that chance doesn’t last forever. Trust me, Sherlock, it’s gone before you know it. Before you know it!

(A shot of Mary. Sherlock looks down, glances up, then averts his gaze again. John keeps his eyes on Sherlock.)

To me, this looks like Sherlock is thinking about how to respond. John thinks he is interested in romantic entanglements with women, but Sherlock argues against this viewpoint. He insists that romantic relationships are not fulfilling for him. 

Maybe, John’s tirade reminds Sherlock of how many chances HE missed - he didn’t confess at the tarmac, when he could have. Chances don’t last forever - they’re gone before we know it. 

(Excuse me while I dry my tears for a second. GAH!)

JOHN: She was wrong about me.

SHERLOCK: Mary? How so?

JOHN: She thought that if you put yourself in harm’s way, I’d… I’d rescue you, or something. But I didn’t, not till she told me to. And that’s how this works, that’s what you’re missing. She taught me to be the man she already thought I was. Get yourself a piece of that.  

SHERLOCK: Forgive me, but you are doing yourself a disservice. I have known many people in this world, but made few friends, and I can safely say…

Now - Sherlock is about to seize his chance. We can only speculate as to what, exactly, he is going to say, but it is going to be EMOTIONAL and very complimentary to John. 

And what does John do? He DEFLECTS. He stifles any confession Sherlock would be able to make by making a confession of his own. 

JOHN: I cheated on her. (Beat.) No clever comeback? (Turns to Mary.) I cheated on you, Mary.

(Sherlock considers this.)

JOHN: There was a woman on the bus, and I had a plastic daisy in my hair, I’d been playing with Rosie. And this girl just smiled at me. That’s all it was, it was a smile.

(Sherlock looks from Mary to John. He must have deduced that John is/has been seeing Mary.)

JOHN: We texted, constantly. You want to know when? Every time you left the room - that’s when. When you were feeding our daughter. When you were stopping her from crying - that’s when.

(Mary smiles sadly. John swallows.)

JOHN: That’s all it was. Just texting. (Sherlock stares ahead.) But I wanted more. (Sherlock looks up to John.) And do you know something? I still do. (Mary smiles.) I’m not the man you thought I was, I’m not that guy. I never could be. But that’s the point. (Voice breaking) That’s the whole point. Who you thought I was … is the man who I want to be.

In the beginning of TLD, John was weighed down by guilt over cheating on Mary, not treasuring her before she died. Now, he confesses, gets it off his chest. As Culverton exemplified, confessing makes you feel better. 

Confessing your darkest secrets is a leitmotif this episode, if not this entire series. 

John STILL wants more. He thinks that makes him an awful man, but he strived to be the man Mary thought he was. (Sidenote: As much as I hate the redemptive arc they have given Mary - retconning the reveal from HLV, imo - her redemtive arc was essential for John’s arc here.)

John admits to wanting more and Mary - a manifestation of his guilt - tells him it’s okay to move on. 

MARY: Well, then… (smiling, looking up to the ceiling) John Watson.

(John swallows, tearing up.)

MARY: Get the hell on with it.

(Mary smiles, nodding. John stares into the empty space, then brings up a hand to cover his eyes and sobs. Sherlock sets his cup down, walks over to John, and pulls him into a gentle hug.)

SHERLOCK: It’s OK.

JOHN: It’s not OK.

SHERLOCK: No. But it is what it is.

(FADE TO BLACK.)

John is grieving, moving past the loss of his wife. He still wants more and he now has absolution/permission to “get on with it”. 

This is essential for Johnlock to happen. John NEEDS to have forgiven himself for cheating on Mary, and he needs to have forgiven Sherlock for the part he played in Mary’s death. 

John is now free to move on. Also, there is a hug from Sherlock in it for him. 

But the scene isn’t over yet. 

[EDIT] It continues after a Sexy Discretion Shot.

As @escaroles points out here, the Fade To Black is significant. In times before depictions of sex and intimacy were common on screen, film language had other means of coding it. I recall a lot of trains entering tunnels from my film history classes (and hm, did we have such shots on Sherlock? *scratches head* We might have...). 

So the way TLD fades to black, then re-enters the scene via an establishing shot of the building - which we don’t need since we KNOW where we are - before cutting to Sherlock and John getting dressed (parallel to Lady Smallwood and Mycroft before she makes advances) at the very least EVOKES the style of Sexy Discretion Shots. For more on this, I highly recommend you read escaroles’s meta :) [/Edit] 

SHERLOCK: So, Molly’s going to meet us at this cake place.

JOHN: Well, it’s your birthday. Cake is obligatory.

SHERLOCK: Oh, well, I suppose a sugar high is some sort of substitute.

JOHN: Behave.

Once John has finished crying into Sherlock’s chest (*contented sigh*), John reveals that they are meeting Molly at a cake place. 

So, John finds out it’s Sherlock’s birthday and changes the plan of Molly minding Sherlock at 221B to going out to celebrate. CAKE was what John used to get Sherlock to attend the christening, but cake is also poisonous (source of Mofftiss saying this, if I remember correctly, to follow). 

It’s 2am, so I’ll leave any cake-related deductions for... later. Or someone cleverer than me. 

Anyway, Sherlock calls cake a SUBSTITUTE, which reminds me of Balloon John, also a SUBSTITUTE. 

And now, *drum roll*, the texting reprise: 

SHERLOCK: Right then. You know, it’s not my place to say, but… it was just texting. People text. Even I text. Her, I mean. Woman. Bad idea. Try not to, but, you know, sometimes… It’s not a pleasant thought, John, but I have this terrible feeling from time to time that we might all just be human.

JOHN: Even you?

SHERLOCK: No. Even you.

JOHN: Cake?

SHERLOCK: Cake! Oh, um…

JOHN: What? What is it? What’s wrong?

(Sherlock straightens, revealing the hat.)

JOHN: (laughs) Seriously?

SHERLOCK: I’m Sherlock Holmes - I wear the damn hat! (exiting) Isn’t that right, Mary?

(John turns to the room, but it’s empty. The camera pans back to the chairs and the still burning fire.)

I’m sure there are loads more layers to this than I can see atm, but there already are plenty. 

Sherlock lied. Said he doesn’t text back - he doesn’t need romantic entanglements. BUT HE IS HUMAN. He used to equate himself with a machine, which is why John asks, “Even you?” Yes, Sherlock is human. He texts Irene back sometimes, but he thinks it’s a bad Idea. “It was just texting”, however. No passionate nights, no dinner. No sex. 

John wanted more, so he cheated emotionally. Sherlock is also human, and did text Irene back. We saw it once in ASiB, and now I’m dying to know what he said when texting back, if he did it more than once, which his wording suggests. 

Anyway, point is: this is one of the misunderstandings. John’s opinion on Sherlock and romance is still that he shuns all entanglements. But Sherlock is only human. He is susceptible to romance... just not from women. Not his area, after all. 

The more poignant moment is, however, when Sherlock tells John that he, John, is only human, too. He is tempted, and he makes bad decisions. Like Sherlock texting Irene is a bad idea, Sherlock giving into temptation, John texting E also was a very human thing to do. 

Sidenote: notice the APPLES in TST and TLD? A bowl of apples is in the shot with Sherlock in Morocco, and another bowl of likewise red apples is in his therapist’s office. 

Theme: temptation. Callback to the apple in John’s bedsit in ASiP.

Sherlock makes this emotional point, compliments John again, or rather defends what John thinks is an awful behaviour on his part, and what does John do?

Right. He DEFLECTS. With cake.

Because god forbid we actually TALK about feelings. 

Summing up

This scene could never have ended with a love confession because it wouldn’t actually move the plot along. John first needed to address his guilt and grief, needed to CONFESS to his cheating. Mary - aka John - forgives himself afterwards and gives himself permission to move on. Had Sherlock said anything relating to his own feelings prior to that, John wouldn’t have been in a position to respond in kind. John would have rejected Sherlock’s advances, and where would that leave us? Not with Johnlock, that’s for sure.  

Reinserting Irene reinforces the one misunderstanding that has stood between John and Sherlock for two bloody seasons: John thinks Sherlock is/was interested in Irene, i.e. that he is straight and not interested in anything John might have to offer.  

The talk is incomplete. John and Sherlock both DEFLECTED, they both only admitted to selective aspects, not to the full picture. 

The end is the beginning. The end of Mary is the beginning of Johnlock. 

And I will stand by this interpretation until this entire show ends without ever having made Johnlock canon. Consider this my vow, folks. 

What the future holds

I’m sure there will be a reprise of this. And then, the nature of Irene and Sherlock’s “relationship” will have to be clarified, John will realise Sherlock isn’t interested in High Wycombe with Irene because she is the wrong gender, not because he is categorically against entanglements. Now that John is allowing himself to move on from Mary, John will be able to respond once that day comes. 

Also, heteronormativity will lead the majority of the audience to believe Sherlock really is in love with Irene. It’s heterobaiting. Remember, this is the same author who gave us the exchange at Battersea Power Station. “Look at us both.” That scene went right over most viewers’ heads. These viewers will now feel ever more secure in their belief that this is a Bromance, nothing more. 

But I, for one, still believe that the rug will be pulled from beneath their feet. 

See also (to be added to later):

@ gaytectives’ post that includes a lot of the points I covered here

@escaroles explains the Sexy Discretion Shot here.  

The 20 minute code of Sherlock

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