#tizzalicious

(holy raviolli I wrote a lot)

Day One, Part Two (Memestream POV, Feat. The Duck From Mars)

A shriek sounded out loud, but it wasn’t from me. My Harambe Smash bounced off of the IMPACT wall as I skidded backwards to a slow, dusty stop.

“You shouldn’t underestimate me.” The duckman’s grin was unnerving. At least this wasn’t even my final form, and I was nowhere near fully leveled. I lunged forward at the IMPACT wall, trying to see how much it would take to weaken it. Wow, this’ guy’s Memelord level is way high. Way high. Not as high as mine, though.

I suppose the most unnerving thing was that the duckman wasn’t doing anything. He was just standing there, watching his Memecash go up, slowly and steadily.

My XP bar reached level three with a dinging sound, and I selected the skill “dual wield.” I felt a mirror image of my Dogic weapon rest its way into my hands. I closed my eyes as I focused my powers.

I heard the duckman’s XP bar hit level two and my eyes snapped open. A sardonic grin crossed his duck-bill face as he used his new skill. Meme after meme shot out at me, paper thin but razor sharp. I dodged them, barely impressed. This was a standard IMPACT skill. It used Memecash to produce memes. Because Impact has a high Memecash per second rate, producing deadly memes was a standard loadout for Impact Memelords.

Still, my Comic Sans dexterity allowed me to dance around those memes like a piece of cake. It wasn’t even pushing the limit of what I could do, and this duckman would learn that the hard way. I attacked him with more standard doge attacks, but they barely chipped the cylindrical barrier around him. I backed off, it was time to make a new strategy. I knew I could win, but the thing was finding the right meme for the job.

“Are you going to let me join?” The duckman taunted behind his stupid text wall.

“This battle isn’t over yet.” My XP bar shot up, shooting me to level four. Tropes can be a powerful weapon, I realized I should use them more often. I decided maybe I should take it a step or so further. “Do you know why I’m a Tri-Knight?” This strategy would work for two things, I could delay the fight and gather Trope based XP for my level five Ultimate.

“No.” The duckman didn’t look to interested but I continued.”

“I do it for my family.” Not really, but the Trope power was really through the roof. “They all died in a tragic battle at my village. Want to know the cause?”

“Not really.” He prepared a large meme. Timing would be key here.

“It was an Impact Memelord. His level was egregiously high, but I managed to kill him with only a stick and my mental focus. I called down Comic Sans and smited his sorry butt to hell.”

All fabrications, lies. Yet it worked. My level shot up to five and a half, and I silently picked my skill. It was called WalkThrouWalls, and it allowed the user to pass through barriers, like the IMPACT one.

“Cool story bro. 3Cool5me.” He rolled his eyes.

I rushed towards him, swords drawn, Comic Sans surrounding me and filling me with meme power. I was a level five, up against this level two nitwit. He stood no chance. I Naruto ran so quickly I was sure he couldn’t see it. I got closer and closer to my target, ready to land the final strike--

“YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

I slammed into the barrier, even with WTW on. How--

“Underestimating me again.” The duckish grin returned as he unleashed the biggest meme straight for my face. I only had one choice. I raised my sword straight up as the meme flew straight towards me. As the meme hit my blade it split in two and flew off to each side. As the air cleared, I attacked the IMPACT shield with all of my righteous, Tri-Knight fury.

As the battle grew long, I felt Comic Sans grow weaker around me. I had to renew it, with a special attack. I used my Memecash to use a skill Dogic weapons are known for.

“much wow” “such powa” “large eytack”

They cracked the IMPACT shield. A horrible feeling descended upon me, I knew what he would do next. His sword was built for it.

“Never Gonna Give You Up!”

His shield regenerated, leaving me with a twitch in the eye and a rage that couldn’t be stopped. The only way to beat this duckmanalien interloper was to call upon doge himself.

“I call upon your much power with such wow and many ador8tions. Defend your warrior and help me smite him with very such vengants!”

Doge floated down from the sky, that always-amused look present on his beautiful face.

The duckish man’s only response was not to me, but to Rick Astley. “I know you will never give me up or desert me, so come to my aid so that I may fix this Memelord’s ego!”

I heard the song before I saw Rick Astley.

Doge and Rick crashed in the sky, with their full powers. We both knew the battle was in someone else’s hands now. As we rushed towards each other for a final attack, there was a flash. Someone would be a victor when I woke from unconsciousness.

When I woke, I heard Doge’s voice in my head.

“he is strong

i dont think he d evr give up

least u dint lose man”

“I guess it’s a draw,” I said. I could see that the ceiling had a huge chunk out of it. Better see if the Mistresses will fix that.

“I suppose so.” The duckman sheathed his sword. “Will you let me join, now that I’ve proved my skill?”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Well, I would,” I looked to the floor. “But I can’t, on principle.”

“What do you mean!?” I saw fire in the duckman’s eyes.

“Well, we are called the Tri-Knights.” I gestured towards our table in the other room.  “We have a triangle shaped table, with the illuminati eye on it. We have floating three-pointed doritos everywhere.”

The duckman was silent.

“See what I mean? If I let you join, we’d have to call ourselves the Quad-Knights. That doesn’t roll off the tongue like Tri-Knights does.”

The duckman took a deep breath, and prepared to argue. I stopped him before he could continue.

“What I can do is make you a sort of pseudo-member. You can come to all the meetings and missions, but you aren’t technically a Tri-Knight O’ Tizzi. I guess you technically don’t get to come to Tri-Knight parties, but--”

“I’ll take it.” The duckman extended a feathery hand, which I shook vigorously. “By the way, call me Marduck.”

“Call me Memestream.”

Though I assumed he was happy, I couldn’t shake the fact that I should keep an eye on him. I had a feeling I’d end out mysteriously dead in my sleep if I wasn’t careful. It’s a good thing that I’m careful.