Was thinking abt Island of Doctor Maude au again, so, here’s a draft of Howard’s final letter to Phillip before his passing.
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My dearest equal partner in Greatness, Phillip,
My dearest friend, my guiding light, You made my darkest days so bright.
You're dearer than mere words can say, Yet now I fear I've reached my day.
Though you've begged that I should rest, You gave your weary soul your best.
You guarded me through every night, And swore, "You'll live—you'll win this fight."
You held me close with steadfast hand, And made me feel I'd safely stand.
"You shall not meet a too-soon end," You whispered softly, dearest friend.
We've done such deeds we cannot praise, In desperate and forsaken days.
With medicines, injections tried, And lives laid low on every side.
Our dreadful knives, vivisections too, Were all pursued for something true.
To cure the curse that shadowed me, We paid a fearful, awful fee.
Though noble was the cause we sought, The blood remains in every thought.
I'm frightened of what I face above, To meet our Maker's solemn love.
To answer for the things we've done, but I know that day cannot be outrun.
I love you, Phillip, more than breath; That truth survives the reach of death.
Forgive the wreck I leave behind, A heavier weight than fate designed.
Forgive I could not longer stay, Though I had vowed I'd find a way.
I could not keep the words I'd sworn, And so my faithful heart is torn.
I truly dreamed that I'd be well, And leave behind this living hell.
When health at last returned to me, This lonely isle we'd someday flee.
Perhaps it’s selfish, I know that is true, But all my brightest dreams held you.
Once I confessed those cherished words, The sweetest ever to be heard,
If you had taken them as mine, Our futures then at last would twine.
Upon the mainland we'd reside, With one small home beside the tide.
We'd watch the sunrise paint the sea, And life, at last, would gentle be.
The waves would crash on weathered stone, And I'd at last be fully known.
For once I'd live both whole and strong, Where sickness held me not so long.
And every failed attempt we'd made, or fruitless cure that slowly frayed,
Each fishing trip that brought no cheer, Each experiment we'd held so dear,
You'd come to me when days were grim, When hope itself had grown quite dim.
I'd bid you rest from every care, And stroke your weary silver hair.
You'd lay your head upon my knee, As peaceful as the quiet sea.
No whispered names we'd need uphold, No "Great Doctors" praised in tales retold.
No fearful eyes would make us part When underneath the table's heart,
I'd slip my trembling hand in yours, Without the world's unyielding laws.
No masks to wear, no parts to play, We'd simply live from day to day.
We would just be, both free at last, With all our sorrows in the past.
I love you, Phillip. Oh, I do. No truer thing have I ever knew.
So for your sake, keep walking on, Though I myself am sadly gone.
Please end the work that stained our name, And leave behind that dreadful shame.
Go build a life of peace instead, Where hope, not guilt, may earn its bread.
Though it be lived apart from me, Still let your heart at last be free.
And should that freedom ask one cost That I be faded, dimmed, or lost
Then let me go without despair. Your life is worth that heavy fare.
If ever you are lost from sight, Or cannot find the morning light,
Go where the stars adorn the skies, Where all my fondest wonder lies.
Within my planetarium stand, And heaven's map shall take your hand.
Seek Venus shining clear above, The star you named for all my love.
And know that though our paths depart, I still reside within your heart.
With all the love one soul can keep, Beyond all waking, death, and sleep,
I sign with all I leave of me, Your Howard, for eternity.
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For a little context, I think instead of having a green house, Howard would have a planetarium. This is also where his “pet” Keith, aka the Nessie version of the great older one, which is basically a giant octopus..jellyfish squid creature would reside. I think Keith has some eldritch properties, so I think he’d really enjoy the stars.
I was brainstorming with @ichhassemeineorgane (thank you again for listening to my insanity) and Howard’s spirit is instead perched on a small, discarded fishing boat by a small piece of land. The boat is called the S.S. Eden
Anyway, I’m working on a character design lineup for the au, so expect that soon. In the meantime, take a little doodle of Howard’s spirit. More to come!!!
