#tiny bug's advice

I think the big thing I would say is that self love is a skill. It's something you have to work on and learn - And even when you've gotten good at it, you will have times where it's harder or you slip up. And that's okay! Here are some little things that come to mind:

One of the things I try to do is treat myself as if I'm a third person. When I force myself to think 'but would I ever think that about someone if it wasn't me?' or 'would I ever say that about someone else?' it helps me to avoid being unnecessarily harsh on myself. We're always hardest on ourselves - I'm definitely guilty of that - so forcing yourself to look at yourself in the third person helps a lot. What would you say in this situation if your friend was the one having this problem, not you? How would your thoughts change?

This is pretty generic therapy stuff, but let your feelings happen. I am really bad at having thoughts/feelings that upset me or I'm ashamed of, and then getting really down on myself for having them. Learning to let emotions and thoughts come like a wave - they come, they're here, they leave (and it is inevitable that they'll leave, even if it takes time) helps me in the moment. Learning this took a while for me, but it helps me a lot now and eventually you stop realising you're doing it consciously. You don't have to acknowledge them or think about them, but they will come, so learning to let them come and go in their time helps a lot.

I would say, start small. Self love takes all these different forms, and some might seem monumental compared to others. So start small: Start a skincare routine, buy yourself something nice, put on a nice outfit - whatever. For me, I wear eyeliner almost every day now, even if I'm just going around the house, and it's because it makes me feel pretty. That's my only reason. And it's the little things that I think really add up!

Be aware that you can't control everything! Again, this is one I really struggled with, but: Society has unrealistic expectations and you can never meet them. No matter how kind you are, some people just don't trust kindness. I try to keep this in my head: "self care is not arguing with people who are committed to misunderstanding you". Learning to assign worth to certain opinions and not others is also a skill, but really helps, and you will get there.

We really are our own worst critics, and self love is a skill you need to develop - but it's worth doing. I've been working on it myself and I am so much happier for it. Have patience with yourself and work on it. I also suggest doing some research - there are lots of great lines and articles about learning to love yourself, far more than I can cover here. Do some research and try to implement the steps that call to you.

Hi lovely ♡ Honestly, I might not be the best to answer this, so if any of my followers have any advice please reply so anon can see!!

I think it’s normal to still have feelings even after a relationship has ended. I know I do, even years later! But, it’s important to think about why it didn’t work out with your old love, in my opinion. Like I know I would hang onto and miss the memories I had with them, even when they changed as a person. I would be thinking about why it didn’t work out and what you’re looking for in a relationship. And most of all, I would give yourself time. It’s hard to really know what you need in situations like this.

Hi lovely!! So... questions like this make me kind of sad, because I know I can’t give the most comforting answer hahah.

The truth is, there are really only two options: Either you don’t say anything, and continue worrying, or you talk to the person and ask for reassurance.

That second option is scary, but it’s what I would suggest. The thing is, asking for comfort shows trust - and maybe prefacing it with, “Look, I know you said it was okay, but my anxiety is flaring and I trust you enough that I can be honest and ask for reassurance.” Let the person know you’re asking because you trust them, and maybe ask questions differently - “Would you tell me if I was annoying you?”, “If I ever do anything wrong, please come talk to me.” Let them know they can talk to you, too, if something IS bothering them.

Hi lovely - okay, so in regards to this... The truth is, I don’t know if it’ll work out. I don’t know you guys, and even if I did, I couldn’t know for sure. But here’s what I can advise:

Friendship should come before a relationship. Back in the day, I had a crush on my best friend, but it just didn’t work out. And it could have destroyed our friendship - but we chose to move past it as friends, and to this day we are close as can be. It’s important to remember that even if love doesn’t work out - your friendship is there, and should be there to stay.

Boundaries are important. I’m sure you know this, but I want to be extra clear - if your friend doesn’t requite those feelings, it’s important to respect that.

It’s important to remember that sometimes these things just don’t work out, and that’s okay. You will get past it if it doesn’t work out. And likewise, it might work out! I don’t know, and I think only you and your friend can make that decision. 

Hi there, lovely! Sorry for the wait in replying!

So... Unfortunately, there’s no way to guarantee anything. The world is full of uncertainty, and although it’s not comforting... It can’t really be changed.

You are somebody to someone: Yourself. And even though that might seem like nothing... Even if people come and people go, you will always be a constant in your life. People won’t always stick around, and sadly that’s a fact of life. Some people have different priorities, some people just aren’t good at communicating, and sometimes people are just in it with bad intentions. But you can’t go through life being afraid of getting hurt! Hurt will happen, but what matters is you remember - you can’t make people stay, and if they choose to go, that’s on them. It’s nothing to blame yourself for, it’s nothing you’ve done, and it can’t be helped.

Hey lovely anon! First off, I am so proud of you for taking this step - The fact that you can recognise you need help, and you’re pursuing it, is brave and amazing.

I would definitely suggest, in this case - write them a letter. 

Take some time to really think about what you want to honestly and truthfully say, and write it. Writing, I find, helps us be more articulate and honest. 

Be sure to write everything you want to say, because if you’re not honest with your parents, they won’t know. Nobody can read minds!

Try to write it when you have a clear head - you don’t want to write these things when you’re angry or anything.

Explain to them, at the start of the letter, why you’re writing the letter and not speaking to them. Tell them that you’re writing because talking is daunting, and that writing lets you think things through before speaking. 

I’d also suggest when you give them the letter, say to them, ‘I’m not sure how to say this, so I wanted to write it. Please read it, because it’s important.’

Be prepared for them to talk to you about it, afterwards. They’re going to read the letter and most likely, talk to you in voice, rather than writing. But if you start with writing, you’re getting everything out in the open, and you’re letting them start the conversation. 

Make sure to tell them that you WANT to get better. My parents often felt like I wasn’t trying to get better, when I was doing my best. Make sure to tell your parents, “I know this is going to be hard for you guys to hear, but I’m reaching out to you because I want to get better.”

If they say something dismissive, be prepare to pester them. Sometimes parents say things like ‘it’s just hormones’ or something, but if they say this - don’t be hurt. It comes from a place of worry and a lack of understanding, rather than a place of malice. But be prepared to say ‘hormones shouldn’t make me feel so low that I feel like I’m a danger to myself.’ and don’t back down until you get the help you need.

Hello hello, lovely! This means the world to me and I hope I can continue making content you enjoy♡ I’m still a student myself but I haven’t undergone any exams in a few years, so please bear with me!! This is sort of from memory!

♡ Get a good breakfast before your exam ♡ 

If you’re like me, you hate eating in the morning and skip breakfast most days. But on your exam days, it’s worth forcing something down - half an apple, a handful of granola, something! Anything you feel you can manage, no matter how small. It’ll help you think, but anxiety and low blood sugar go hand in hand and you tend to feel more anxious if you’re not eating - so it’s worth eating something, even if it’s small! (Plus, I fainted in an exam once and that wasn’t fun, so I definitely recommend eating!!)

I’d also recommend bringing a drink in with you! They only let us drink water here, but I personally don’t like plain water so I would bring in flavoured water that they couldn’t tell the difference between!

♡ Do your best to get a good night’s sleep before the exam - NO all nighters!! ♡

You won’t be at your best if you’re exhausted, but it will also make you much more anxious and stressed. It’s better to sleep the night before and go over your material with a quick recap-aid like flashcards before and after you wake up!

♡ Give yourself time to get there and arrive early! ♡

The last thing anyone wants to do is be late for an exam or be in such a rush to get in there on time that when you finally sit down, you’re high strung just in time for the test. Get there early if you can!!

♡ THE NIGHT/DAY BEFORE, message a few friends and ask what to bring - do we need a calculator? a ruler? a compass? etc! ♡

This is so important because on the day of the exam, you will likely not have time to get the equipment you need and I know in my school the teachers don’t like giving their stuff out to people taking exams. Make sure you’re prepared with everything you need and don’t turn up to an exam with the wrong equipment!!

♡ If it’s an oral exam or a 1-1 exam, ask your examiner if you can chat for a bit beforehand and explain you’re nervous! ♡

I’m a language student, and before my oral exams everyone got really worked up. Orals are hard! So we were told to go in and ask the examiner if we could just chat for a minute or two to get used to one another and put our nerves at ease. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know!

♡ Breathing techniques!!! ♡

Everyone has a preferred deep-breathing technique but this is my favourite - It activates the parasympathetic nervous system which calms you down and helps get rid of anxiety. Inhale for three seconds and exhale for six seconds. Basically, all you do is exhale for twice as long as you inhale! I do 3 and 6 but you can do what’s most comfortable for you. Don’t push yourself - it should be comfortable!

♡ No matter how tempting, do not ask your friends ‘what did you get for question X’ afterwards! ♡

We get so focused on marks that if we find out we got different answers from our friends, we’ll spend the day worrying after the exam about marks we might have missed. It’s not worth it!

♡ DON’T FORGET TO TAKE YOUR MEDS!! ♡

Especially in the week leading up to the exam, focus on your medication - take it at a regular time each day (I take mine before bed because they make me sleepy!) and make sure you’re all up to date on medication before the exam.