#tinu musing

Thinking about Rio and hurting bad.

Thinking about the love she had for Agatha, a mortal, a love so strong that Rio was willing to bend her own rules—the sacred balance—just because Agatha said one thing.

“I will hate you forever.”

Rio knew that there was nothing to stop what was coming. She did not want to do it, she had no choice. It was the way of life and so was the way of death. It was the way of Rio’s very own being.

And yet Agatha still rejected her. Everything that Rio stood for and everything that Rio ever was, over something that she had absolutely no control over.

Can you imagine how painful that would be?

Still she stood there and took everything Agatha threw at her.

And Rio did try to find a way to work around, she offered time. For Agatha, for Nicky. And for herself.

She bought time for both of them to delay the most unthinkable. For Agatha, it was the death of her (their) son; and for Rio, nothing was more unimaginable than the loss of Agatha’s love and affection.

It was the greatest gift and blessing Death could ever offer to anyone.

Agatha would get what she wanted, at least for a while. She would welcome their son to the world and live out possibly the happiest moments of her life. But for Rio, it was a countdown to the darkest and most sorrowful time ever known to her.

And Agatha would never know any of that.

I'm afraid I'm not much of a plant person anon, but if I really have to choose, this would be the one.

Large petals, bold and vibrant, the whole tree flares up in pink or purple when it blooms. However, since the plant is a result of crossbreeding, it is sterile as most hybrids are. Even if it does grow a seed pod, no seeds can be found inside.

Not anymore.

I moved a couple of places when I was studying abroad. One of them was a small house in a rural area with an open lot, a big grass field for front and back yard.

And during my stay I was adopted by the cats there.

There were three different litters of four cats, all from the same mother. One litter in particular, the greys, were already taken in by the landlord prior to my arrival. Somehow they took a liking to me and became my cats for time I was there.

It was my first time ever having cats, and one of the best moments in my life.

Of course there’s also the downside, like getting peed on the electric blanket in the middle of the night. Not just any nights either, it was the coldest fucking night in winter (Booms I’m looking at you). And then since they were outdoor cats, they would scream on top of their lungs asking to be let out (or let in) 3 am in the morning.

But it was all worth it the moment they curled up on my lap, purring to their little hearts content as I pulled my all nighters. And they didn’t care if my lap was already occupied or not, so I often ended up with a stack of 2-3 cats piling on top of me.

How I miss those days.

Sadly it all came to an end when I moved away, but from what I heard they’re still thriving. Got a lot chonkier too.

So to answer your question, a cat. Not right now, but someday.

My parents brought me to watch Return of the King when it first came out, kid me had no idea what was going on and got scared so much I ran out of the theatre to go hang out at a toysrus— needless to say my parents were pissed lmao

Then around 10 years later Galadriel became my gay awakening

Anyway I started watching scrubs again. My friend streamed it for us during Covid, I liked it, wasn’t super into it at the time. This time though, I am finally able to appreciate how much thought and work has been put into it, and just how good of a show it is.

Yet they have chosen to show themselves to me perhaps for a fond farewell, or maybe they’re here to tell me it’s all going to be fine.

Either way, thank you.

There’s so much I want to say to you but I don’t even know how to begin.

Castor and Pollux, thank you for lighting up my darkest nights

Orion, thank you for reminding me that I can find home no matter where I am.

Auriga, Capella, my new acquaintance, thank you for showing me that I can discover something new and something beautiful.

Now the stargazing part is nothing impressive. It’s not the kind where you lift your head and see speckles of star splattered all over the night sky, no. All we have here are a few faint glowing dots scattered here and there, and most of the time they’re just airplanes.

You will have to know where to find and how to find them. But once you do, it’s similar to learning to ride a bike or ice skating—you won’t forget it.

The first constellation I learned was Orion. My friend pointed them out to me when we were studying abroad, on a strange continent, far away from home.

“That’s Orion’s Belt,” he said, gesturing to the three dots that formed a very distinctive line in the twilight sky.

That was already ten years ago.

The next time I saw Orion again was a few years later when I moved back, in a place I least expected. You see, my hometown has a very dense population and very urbanized. Granted, I don’t live in the busiest part of town but the light pollution is still very noticeable.

So imagine my shock when I looked up one random night and saw the three stars blinking down at me.

Orion’s Belt? Right here at my doorstep?

It was not just his belt either. The whole hourglass—his torso—could be seen clearly in the sky.

That was the beginning of it all.