#tinder experience

I’ve never had a better conversation on tinder than this. Karen is my soulmate I’ve decided

Good morning.

So, guess what, I’m 18 and I’m single. Shocking, right?

I’m almost sure that none of people reading this are actually shocked by this random fact about me. Well, I hope so. As for me, I think you have a right to start dating any time you want, and, if you wish, you can even not start dating at all. Because this is your personal choice, this is how it works. Amazingly easy to understand.

Okay, it sounds like a starting of a ranting, and I guess it is a ranting, but I just wanted to make my opinion clear. Yesterday I met my friends (and I don’t see them very often) and there’s this little thing that they sometimes do. It doesn’t make me angry or annoyed, but I see it as a topic that is not the best thing to talk about. They ask “So K, are you seeing anyone now?” or “So do you like any guy at the moment?”, or they tell me “You’ll never find someone if you have such high standards”, or my favorite “You’ll never find a boyfriend if you keep doing *a thing*”. Luckily I don’t hear the last one often; if I did I would be already dead by doing seppuku right in the cute café, in which we were having a nice chitchat. I mean, why do we should discuss my dead lovelife if we could talk about penguins slipping on the ice in Antarctica, or about how high are costs of strawberries in Japan, or why do the cats have a claws on their penises? There are so many things to talk about, the fact that I hate 99.9% of humanity and do not want to date anyone I know is not the most interesting one.

I’m trying, okay. I even have a Tinder, and I talk to people there. Well, I may swipe left more often then I should, but I’m trying. I don’t want to start dating just anyone, so there’s nothing wrong about being picky. Dating someone is not a question of your age, it’s all about you feeling comfortable enough near someone who feels the same way. Mutuality, this is what is important. And as long as I don’t feel it, I’ll be alone. And I feel pretty good being single. I love it, actually. So the person who will be the end of “my lonely life” and the start of “me being in love life” should be very special, special enough for me to give up my happy single-pringle way of living, and to realize that I cannot live without this person.

Looking forward for being alone for as long as I want and being happy with it!!,

 A little prehistory 

           I’ve recently got out of a 4-year relationship, that frankly speaking wasn’t very blissful for me. After 2 months of self-pity and despair, I was on the dating market, bright and breezy, eager to date again. I don’t actually have many friends who can bring me together with a nice girl so I decided to turn to Tinder.

           As in my previous relationship I didn’t feel the urge to marry, I realized that the girl wasn’t the one and consequently I made a promise to myself that the next one would be really special. This is how I decided to consider only girls that are a bit out of my league.

           I had been using Tinder for about 4 weeks when I finally got the first date with a gorgeous girl. Although she looked stunning, there were some things that bothered me. For instance, having exchanged very few messages she inquired if I had a car and literally asked me for a bunch of flowers. Besides this, she herself hinted she would like to go out. So I asked her out.

 The date

           Having dressed up a little I met her at the cathedral. The first question I was asked, “Where are my flowers?” Laughing the question off, I suggested to have a stroll, however, she persisted in her blatant approach and asked for a takeaway. I didn’t want to seem rude so I agreed. As the restaurants served only takeaways due to the coronavirus, we couldn’t get a table. To my surprise, she chose a way too fancy restaurant for a takeaway and ordered the food that you can’t eat in the street. Ok, I said to myself, thinking “How are you going to eat it?”. The next thing that she said got me completely baffled and stunned.

-“Let’s go to the shop to buy some bread” - these were her exact words.

- I pulled myself together and asked “Do you want me to buy groceries for you? ”

- “Well, it is just bread”. - she answered like it was totally normal.

- “Ok, let’s go”. - I answered, still confused by the situation I found myself in.

As you may have already guessed she didn’t confine to bread solely and filled her shopping basket with other products. While she was shopping and chatting with me simultaneously, I decided that I wouldn’t pay for it. It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford that, it was a matter of principle for me. She was clearly using me. When the cashier was done and asked “cash or card?”. She grinned at me as if she was inviting me to pay, but I was firm in my decision. The woman in the line started getting a bit nervous so the tinder girl said

“Are you going to pay?”  

-” No” - I declared confidently.

- “You may go then”.

This time I obliged to her words and left the shop, feeling partly awkward and partly irate. Since the date went terribly I thought she wouldn’t need that takeaway so I picked it up. Heading home on the metro, I received a colourful message of such content. “I spend so much time on getting ready for the date, while you turned out to be such a cheapskate, you asshole. My high heels gave me blisters and I used very expensive cosmetics. You miserable masturbator, I wish you were dead”. I can’t recall all the details of the message, but it is close to the original. By the way, the masturbator thing isn’t true. Also, there was one more thing that really flabbergasted me. In her message, she mentioned that the day before she had had a date with a man who had bought her food for 3 600 rubles (52 US dollars). What kind of man does that? What’s wrong with the man? Why did he pay for her groceries? These are the questions I will never get answers to. 

The end

         In conclusion, I just would like to say that it was definitely an unforgettable experience. I must say that I was amused and bitter at the same time. What do you think of this experience of mine? Would you like to know more details? Please, share the story if you enjoyed it.

Dating apps can be dubious. Alongside rapid modernisation and world development, the law of nature is still applicable. Tied in more complex package and configuration now that humans have evolved for over centuries, each one of us own a unique attraction. 

When I turned 19, I made a bucket list of things I should do before turning 20. I have never written it anywhere nor have it recorded, but the focal point of that is to cover areas of doings and places that curious teenagers can understandably go for by mercy. By that, I was referring to reckless undertakings that can lead to either growth or complete destruction.

Propelled with sole philosophy, “YOLO” because I have got nothing to lose and the more mistakes, the more to learn policy, I quickly went on board with the idea. 

For starter, I uploaded my favourite portrait up on a dating app, Tinder. Frankly, it may be quite normal for working age group where time is the constraint and having to maximise efficiency in getting to know significant other is important for continuity, but I was that 19-year-old girl who just embarked on my online dating journey in a great big city where in a pool of human beings, I was the inexperienced and naive one. 

By a mere convenience swipe of left, right or up, the profile of my prospective partner can be acknowledged, sparing bad trips, ungodly experiences and wasted efforts to date. That decision when mutual acknowledgment is met, then both parties can start creating stories, getting to know more in-depth and sharing common aspirations and values. 

So if getting acquainted is that easy, the next step is to go out there and prove that the end of the line is not a fraud, or at least someone pleasant to get to know of. After all, there is never a harm to get connected with strangers. The least I could get is adding new experience to my life record.

And once a date is set, a cycle will follow subsequently until you find someone you can never get tired of, or your soulmate although very less likely, considering feelings that come from genuine encounter unindented, don’t come and go that easy, and some last for years or even for the whole life.

My feelings for real genuine relationships? We’ll talk about that another time. This time, we focus on tinder encounters. I have never had a single bit of feelings for any tinder date. Majority of users are on the same page as me and a fraction of them may not. For those knowing what they are in for, they will take the offer. For me, Tinder is just a space to fill my vacant spot of real life company. And that will forever stay as it is because I don't let want to let boring, intended and effortless ventures be part of my romance. Dating is a serious real deal, therefore I am not letting it getting forsaken.

It all started about a month back when I met a nice girl on Tinder. She looked assertive and slightly intimidating with her nose ring. Nonetheless, I am brave too, so we started having small conversations on chat. I remember one weekend we stretched the conversation for more than an hour until I almost got tired of typing on the minuscule keyboard of my cell phone.

It was more a norm than it was an exception that our conversations had been sporadic throughout. One day she messaged me saying that she wishes to quit Tinder and wants to connect with me on Whatsapp, so we exchanged our numbers and connected on Whatsapp. It was a wise decision on her part as I always perceived Tinder as a horrible platform for carrying out conversations.

Shortly after we connected on Whatsapp, I worked up the courage to ask her out for a drink on a weekend. She despite the initial dilemma, agreed to go out a day later. So we finally met that evening. It was an interestingly engaging conversation for me as much as it was for her, I like to believe. So much so that we were the last customers to leave the restaurant that night. We shared the same cab on the way back home as her place is not far from mine. Through the entire ride, we were still in the conversation as it appeared we couldn’t get enough of it.

This time around I was pretty sure I finally met the girl worth being a ‘friend’ to. Yes, a good friend and that’s what it was all about. There are two things at play here. One, from the jump she told me about her existing boyfriend and I was never jealous about it. I was even interested in meeting her boyfriend. It is another thing that she never brought her boyfriend along. Two, I never really had a girl as a friend. The girls in my school and college and even my colleagues have been too prudish to have an actual conversation with, and more often than not, way too small-town and simple-minded for my taste. And unsurprisingly this is also part of the reason my relationship and ‘almost-relationships’ in the past did not work out.

The following weekend, she told me that she was craving a beer and asked me whether I could join her the following day. I agreed. It is in the evening on the same day when she texted me again to cancel the plan due to her cash crunch. I understood that she was struggling with her finance since she was yet to receive her paycheck. To lighten things up, I sidetracked the conversation for that time.

The day after, When I checked my Whatsapp the first time, there were three deleted messages from her along with a message saying that she had accidentally sent the previous ones. That afternoon again she changed her mind to go out for some booze. So I decided to accompany her.

It was a wonderful evening, we drank to the brim, discussed various isms politics, religion, economy, and whatnot. I enjoyed her company for the fact that she appeared to be thoughtful and inquisitive, a perfect company for a nerd like me. On the way back home she looked a bit off and when I asked her she replied that she was hungover from all that booze we had. As we reached my home, I rubbed her shoulder and said her goodbye and got off the cab. Knowing that the cabby would take her home safely.

After a while when I checked my Uber, the trip had ended. But I did not receive any charge request, found out, payment mode was set to cash. It felt so bad and I quickly called her up to check on that. She disconnected the call so I dropped a message on Whatsapp telling her about my concern. A few minutes later she replied that she had reached safely and she had enough cash to make the payment. Finally, I felt at ease and crashed for that night.

The following day during lunch I sent her a copy of the check from the previous evening and asked her to pay her share at her convenience. She went from “sure, I will pay once I get my salary” to “send me your account details, I’ll transfer” in no time. Suddenly she was in a frenzy of repayment. Despite my attempt to assure that she didn’t need to hurry, she was persistent, so I gave away my account details. Whatsmore, she had also asked me for the check from our first meet so that she could pay for that too. Alright, It was pretty clear to me by the time that something had triggered her. I was not expecting that money at all. That evening, she had requested me to pay the bill at the restaurant and she would also offer a similar treat to square, I reminded her. Meanwhile having gotten busy with my work and beginning to get tired of her stubborn requests, I finally promised to look for the tab in the evening after I had finished my work.

She could not wait any longer. An hour later she sent me her part of the bill that I had asked her for. Later that evening I was checking back on my Whatsapp messages, I was in for the surprise, her profile picture had disappeared. She had removed me from her list of contacts, If not blocked.