#timlexi

later in the night, tim is well and truly drunk, and lexi is sitting close, picking a fight with him like usual, when suddenly she smirks like shes gotten an idea, which never means anything good.

"you know, you'd make a real pretty girl."

"wh- what?" tim stammers, not even knowing how to respond to that. not when his stomach curls in a way thats all pleased and nervous and excited.

"mhm. you should grow your hair out. if we were the same size i'd get you to try on some of my skirts, but uh, i think they'd be too long on you. shortie."

tim blushes hard. "youre just saying all this."

lexi tilts her head, curtains of brunette hair slipping down her shoulders. her glasses glint in the light from the kitchen, where jay and brian are probably making out. a recent development that lexi swears she saw coming a mile away, that annoys tim that he was so surprised by.

"im not. why, do you like it?"

tim shrugs. lexi lights up. "come with me."

they got to her room, and tim immediately thinks shes going to take him right then and there, but instead she sits him down at her desk, and gets a little cheap eyeshadow pallette off her dresser.

"sit still," she orders.

"so bossy," tim replies. she rolls her eyes.

her touch on his eyelids is rough, but tim sits well, and she gets gentler as she goes. its soothing, almost.

"what name would you have? if you were a girl."

"i dont know."

"sure you do. dont tell me you havent thought about it."

tim shifts, awkward. "doesnt everyone?"

lexi laughs. "no."

tim shifts again. "marie."

"awww. thats pretty." she plays with his hair as she does his blush, shes so close and so gorgeous and god, tim wants her so bad, but he wants this even more and doesnt dare interrupt.

"im done," she finally says. "take a look."

tim stands up and walks to her mirror, blinking in the low lights of her bedroom. he does look pretty. he looks like a girl. lexi curls onto his shoulder, propping her chin on his head.

"pretty."

"thank you," he whispers.

"youre welcome, marie," lexi says. tim blushes hard.

"you dont have to do that."

she laughs. "are you sure?"

tim isnt sure. he likes it. too much. "am i.. allowed?"

her expression goes soft. "of course you are."

tim smiles faintly. "maybe do it a little more, then."

midway through his first semester of college, a new librarian starts working. her shift is usually in the afternoon and evening, same time as when tim goes, so he sees her a lot. shes pretty. real pretty. tall, taller than him, he thinks, at least. long brown hair that goes past her shoulders and falls in curtainy waves around her face. small chest. rectangular glasses. always dressed comfy, with a campus lanyard and student employee id card around her neck. campus jobs arent available to freshman or sophomores, so she must be at least two years older than tim. maybe even old enough to drink.

anyway.

tim doesnt want to say he becomes obsessed with her, because that feels wrong and weird and perverted. but he does become.... increasingly aware of her presence in his thoughts.

he learns her name. lexi. learns shes trans (doesnt matter to tim). learns shes a film major, and a senior, and drives a blue truck.

dont ask where he gets all that from.

hes still never spoken to her. feels like a mousy, stupid almost-nineteen-year-old, harboring this disgusting crush on some beautiful older woman.

then.

"brian!?" tim hisses, peeking over the top of his textbook. brian, his roommate, is leant against a bookshelf, arms crossed casually, talking to lexi. tim's lexi. his.

he cant hear what theyre saying, but shes smiling the sly little smirk he fucking loves, and brian is grinning and probably flirting, and brian is so much cooler than tim is, hes in the improv club and is majoring in psychology and probably talked to girls all the time in highschool. meanwhile tim was getting homeschool in a fucking insane asylum.

(the staff hated it when he called rosswood that. sometimes it felt like it, though. they werent kind there. they treated him like he was insane.)

as soon as lexi walks away, tim is snatching his things up and dashing over to brian.

"what was that?" he snaps, gesturing. brian looks surprised to see him.

"tim? hey dude! is there where you are all the time?"

tim didnt realize brian noticed he was ever gone. "yes. why were you talking to her?"

"who, lex?"

tims stomach twists into a knot. lex.

"yes," he grits out.

"shes my friend," brian says, confused. "im in one of her film projects."

tim nearly blacks out from pure jealousy.

"right. okay." he clenches his hands in his jacket pockets. brians expression stays confused for a moment, before suddenly growing very very sly.

"ohhhh i see. youve got a thing for her, dont you? you know shes like 22 right?"

tims head feels fuzzy. he knows its wrong, hes only 18, but god he really likes the idea of the age difference between them. it makes his head feel like its spinning.

"i dont care," tim says. brians expression twitches into something almost sort of giddy.

"wow, man," he says with a grin. "well hey, her roommate jay is throwing a little party on saturday, and she was saying just now i could come if i wanted to. why dont i bring you?"

"would that be okay?" tim asks, suddenly nervous. a couple freshman invading this older college party. what if lexi saw him and thought he was just a stupid teenager?

"sure," brian says, shrugging. "shes super chill. jay is too. i usually go with them to get lunch in between classes."

again, the jealousy that takes him over so fully he almost goes unconscious with it.

he gulps. "okay. if you think its fine, then yeah, i wanna come."

"cool." brian smiles. "ill text you the details and let her know im bringing a friend."

"cool," tim says. brian leaves. tim goes back to where he was sitting, but finds his spot taken, and so he has to just hole up at a bench.

he doesnt bother studying. all he can think about is saturday.