#timelessness recaps

From chapter 3:

“But the TARDIS, she only communicates telepathically. So when you were Bad Wolf, together, she—or maybe the two of you, using the Vortex—strengthened those neural pathways. That’s how she could tell you how to fly her.”

Rose connected the dots. “The hum is the TARDIS.”

“Yep.”

“I can hear a ship that only communicates telepathically.”

“Yep.”

“Doctor, am I telepathic?”

“You are now, thanks to my interfering ship.”

From chapter 7: 

“Rose, have you had any headaches, nausea, any discomfort since we learned about your telepathy?”

“No—well, except for the other night, when we were working on barriers.”

“That’s… that’s not… you should…” The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck.

Rose raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “Are you saying you want me to be sick?”

“Of course not, but Rose, developing the telepathic circuits of the brain is not a comfortable experience! You should at least be getting headaches. We all got headaches.”

The TARDIS hummed in the back of his mind, but he ignored her. He needed to figure this out.

“D’you think the TARDIS is helping?” Rose suggested.

[...]

The Doctor felt his ship’s confirmation and Rose’s answering gratitude, and a rock lodged itself in the pit of his stomach. “Oh, this is bad. This is… this is bad.”

“What’s so bad about it?”

“Well, I might have just realised why our attempts at blocking emotions gave you a headache.”

The Doctor glanced over at Rose, hoping she was already following along with what he was saying, but the little furrow in her brow told him he’d have to explain further.

“What’s that got to do with this?”

“Time Lords are bonded to their TARDISes, Rose. We call it a telepathic link, but really it’s more empathic.”

“Yeah, that’s why she couldn’t translate when you were sick, right?”

He nodded, rubbing at his temples. “And if she’s in your mind all the time, keeping you from getting sick, then you and I are already connected on a shallow level, just like I’m connected to her.”

[...]

“I still don’t quite get why this is bad.”

“My connection with her, and yours too I’d guess, they always stay open. She needs mine to function—hence the translation matrix not working, as you pointed out. And you… you need yours to hold the pain at bay.” His head dropped to the back of his chair and glared up at his interfering ship. “So we’re both constantly connected to the same TARDIS. It’s like a three-way conference call.”

The Doctor finally felt a hint of understanding from Rose. “A three-way conference call we can’t hang up on.”

“Exactly.”

“Guess you’ll just have to learn not to react to things emotionally,” Rose told him cheekily.

The Doctor tried to tamp down his anxiety. “I’m sorry, Rose,” he offered. “If I’d known this would happen, I never…”

“You never what?” she asked. “Never would have offered to go into my mind? Because we both know that’s why all this is happening. If you hadn’t looked to make sure the effects of Bad Wolf were still contained, I never…”

“Never would have fully developed your telepathic abilities,” he finished.

These two scenes together form another cornerstone of To Make Much of Time. Rose is telepathic, and because of the way that telepathy happened, she and the Doctor have a permanent empathic connection--they can sense each other’s emotions. And of course, for two people who are trying to pretend they aren’t in love, losing the ability to hide how they’re feeling has serious repercussions. 

From chapter 16:

The words, “What you mean to me,” hung in the air, understood by both. “I said you could spend the rest of your life with me,” he said instead.

Rose laughed harshly. “Right, and you’ve been pulling back ever since. You even sent me to make tea so you could get rid of me after you got back from France.” She felt his guilt and knew she’d been right that night. “How was I supposed to know you didn’t regret that promise? Maybe you want to get rid of me. Maybe I should just stay here.”

The Doctor’s white hot agony took her by surprise, and she drew in a quick breath. “It’s not what I want,” she quickly continued, “but all this time, I’ve been keeping quiet because I was afraid you’d leave me behind if I said anything. Well, now I know I can take it if you do, so we’re going to talk. What do you need so desperately that you couldn’t even stay put for one night, Doctor?”

She could feel the fear and panic swirling within the Doctor as he struggled to answer her question. Before, she would have rushed to ease the awkward silence, not wanting the Doctor to feel pressured. Today, she calmly fixed both his tea and hers to their liking and then sat down across from him to wait.

“Distance,” he finally whispered. “You’re… you’re always there. You can see… I can’t hide from you, not in here,” he said, tapping the side of his head.

Rose handed him his cup and leaned against the cabinets. “You feel naked, exposed, like the deepest parts of yourself don’t belong just to you anymore?”

He started. “How did you… Oh.”

“Finally catching on, are we? And I thought Time Lords were supposed to have such big brains.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I never thought… didn’t realise…”

“We both know there’s something here that… that you’re not ready to talk about yet,” she said, choosing her words carefully. She wanted to be clear, but she didn’t want him to panic again. The Doctor’s chair squeaked a little as he shifted around, and Rose smiled at him. “I’m not gonna insist you do, or push the issue. I…” She bit her lip, then decided to put all her cards on the table. “I wanna be with you, Doctor, but not until you’re ready.”

Serious repercussions, such as the Doctor constantly pulling back from Rose. Rose eventually lays into him for it, after he accidentally leaves her in London for a day because he couldn’t just sit still. They form a tentative truce here, but it takes time for her to trust him again.

From chapter 22:

The Doctor stayed in the control room for a few minutes, wondering what exactly the night would hold. Before Krop Tor, Rose had still held him slightly at a distance. Maybe she finally trusted him again.

He stopped in his room to change into a pair of pyjama bottoms. He debated the vest for a moment and finally opted to leave it on.

Rose’s door was open a crack and he pushed through. She was already lying down on the far side of the bed, laying on her side facing away from him. He hesitated for a moment, but the covers on the near side of the bed were flipped up in invitation, so he slid in beside her.

He heard her exhalation and knew she hadn’t been certain he’d come. He looked over at her back. He couldn’t see her face, but he needed…

The Doctor rolled onto his side and pulled Rose close so her backside was flush with his front. She took his hand and kissed his palm, and he nuzzled into her neck. “We made it,” he whispered.

“Yeah, we did. We’re home.”

The moment wasn’t anything like he’d expected, but it was still perfect. “I love you.”

Rose sighed and turned over to snuggle into his side. She pressed a kiss to his jaw, then whispered in his ear, “I love you too, my Doctor.”

From chapter 28:

The Doctor stared at a spot over her shoulder. “We’ll form a telepathic connection, like we have the few times we’ve talked. Then I’ll ask you to bond with me. If you accept, the provisional bond is formed.”

Rose frowned. “Not if, Doctor,” she said firmly. “When. When I accept.”

His eyes met hers, and she could see the fear and wonder he was projecting over their empathic connection. “May I?” he asked, lifting his hand to her temple. She nodded. “You too, Rose,” he added, bringing her left hand up to his right temple.

They both sighed when the contact was formed, and Rose felt a sense of relief from the Doctor, like he’d been aching for this. You’ve been lonely for too long, Doctor, she told him.

I’d never been alone in my head before, not really. It was the worst part of the War. He gently redirected their conversation. But we aren’t here to talk about that.

The Doctor in Rose’s mind closed his eyes, and a moment later, they were standing in the canyon again. How’d you do that?

Inside your mind, you can be anywhere you want to be. He shifted so they were standing side by side holding hands again, clasped palm to palm with their fingers laced together. The Medusa Cascade was invisible, but Rose could still see the possibilities swirling in the air.

His fingers tightened in hers, and she glanced up at his face. How long are you going to stay with me?

Rose’s heart sped up. This was him, asking. She felt her own timeline and saw only one path forward. There was no universe in which she wouldn’t want the Doctor. Forever, she told him, never more sure of anything in her life.

The word carried the weight of authority, and they both shivered as it settled into their timelines, forming the provisional bond that would begin to tie their minds together. By mutual consent, they removed their fingers from each other’s temples, leaving the telepathic connection behind.

The first I love you, followed not long after by the formation of a telepathic bond. At this point, the Doctor and Rose are what we would consider engaged. 

From chapter 37/38:

The Doctor focused on the bond, opening himself up to it so she could feel how much he loved her. Her answering love and sorrow reverberated back to him, then Pete hit the button on his hopper and they disappeared.

The suction slowly faded, and then for a few seconds he could actually see the breach weave itself back together before closing entirely. His bond with Rose pulled like it had before, but this time it tore completely, and he shuddered at the pain.

The Doctor’s breath came in heaving sobs. When his feet touched the ground again, he stared at the wall for a long moment, as if he could will Rose back into existence by focusing on the point from which she had disappeared. Then he walked toward it in a daze, not stopping until he was pressed against it, his hand splayed out flat.

The place in his mind where Rose was supposed to be was empty. His mind tried to reach across the Void to find her, but the breach was well and truly closed. There was nothing there; no answer from her, no brush of her warm, pink-gold mind against his. She was just gone, and the bone deep loss nearly brought him to his knees.

The emptiness in his head after the war had nearly driven him mad. Then he’d met Rose, and even before the Game Station, she’d filled some of the hollow places left by the loss of his people. Later, their empathic connection and bond had given him the telepathic communion he’d needed.

Losing her ripped open wounds that had barely begun to scab over. He stumbled back a few steps from the wall, his vision clouded. The TARDIS sang to him, and he turned around, letting her call him home.

The Doctor didn’t know how he made it back to the TARDIS; everything from the moment he’d walked away from the white wall—away from Rose—was a blur. But here he was, guided home by his ship and his time senses. He ran a hand over the door before turning the key and stepping inside.

The Doctor flinched away from the time ship’s comforting hum. Being comforted would mean he’d lost something. He hadn’t… she couldn’t… He pressed his fists against the edge of the console and leaned forward, breathing raggedly.

After a long moment, he straightened up and swallowed. He needed to be gone from here—Gone from everywhere, his mind suggested—and he slowly punched in the coordinates that would send them into the Vortex.

Yes, I’m so sorry I did this. But it was the only way to bring about the fix I wanted to write.

From chapter 39:

The beach was empty, save for one person coming toward him a fast pace. Runner, his mind supplied. Her hair caught in the wind, and he wondered how long it would be before he could look at a blonde and not see Rose.

It was more than her hair colour that was familiar, however. There was something in her gait, in the way she held herself… Then he noticed the runner’s blue cardigan and black trousers. His hearts clenched, and his own pace picked up, until he was running toward her flat out.

“Doctor!” Rose called out, and the sound of her voice gave him an extra burst of speed. He caught her in his arms only seconds later and lifted her up, twirling around while she laughed.

“Rose, oh Rose, you’re here,” he murmured as he set her back on her feet. He pulled her close and pressed his forehead to hers.

“I’m here, my Doctor,” she whispered, and he could feel her breath on his face.

He lifted a shaking hand and pressed his fingers to her temple without even asking. Rose mirrored him, and everything was almost perfect.

Forever, she said without being prompted, and their bond snapped back into place.

The Doctor’s knees nearly buckled, and the thought that he didn’t want the rest of their reunion to take place on a cold beach worked its way into his consciousness.

He took her hand and grinned down at her. “Run!”

I love this reunion so much.

From chapter 40:

Rose leaned her head against his shoulder, and the Doctor wrapped an arm around her, holding her close. He could feel her mind working, trying to figure something out, but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

“Do you think I saw this, when I was Bad Wolf?” she asked finally. “Did I make this happen?”

The Doctor considered. “You were Time, Rose. It wasn’t just something you were aware of, or that you marked your life with. For that half hour, Time was entwined with the essence of who you are. So yes, I think you saw this. And I think the place you held in Time probably will make key moments in your life... resonate more than they would for an ordinary person.”

He looked down at her and brushed his thumb along her cheek. “But I don’t think Bad Wolf made this happen. I think we did.”

Rose chewed on the inside of her mouth, then the slight tension around her eyes eased and she smiled. “You’re right, my Doctor,” she said. “And it all began right down there.”

Sitting in the Earthlight with his bond mate, the Doctor reached out tentatively for their timelines. The beauty of what he saw took his breath away, and he pressed his fingers to Rose’s temple so she could see it too. Two timelines entwined, stretching into the future as far as they could see.

[...]

He placed his hands on her temples, and Rose mirrored him. This is the last time we’ll need to be touching to go into each other’s minds, he told her. Last chance to change your mind—there’s no going back after this.

Don’t want to go back. I just want to go forward, with you, forever.

The Doctor’s hands trembled on her temples. I love you, he told her fervently, then took a deep breath to get control over his emotions. Completing a marriage bond requires a third telepathic presence. Normally this would be the officiant, but the TARDIS will facilitate for us.

The presence of the TARDIS strengthened until Rose felt like the time ship was holding both her mind and the Doctor’s safely in her hands.

That’s it exactly, Rose.

Rose felt the Doctor weaving his mind around hers, and she followed his example, as best as she could. He and the TARDIS helped when she wasn’t sure what to do, guiding her until she knew, intuitively, that there was only one step remaining.

The Doctor hovered over the telepathic centre of her mind, and with the TARDIS’ help, Rose found the matching place in his. She looked to him, waiting for a cue as to what to do next, and to her surprise, a third set of vows followed.

I take you as my bond mate, sharing my life, my mind, and all I am with you. I promise never to lie to you, and to be true to our bond through regeneration after regeneration, until we are finally parted by death.

The words came easily to Rose. I take you as my bond mate, sharing my life, my mind, and all I am with you. I promise never to lie to you, and to be true to our bond through regeneration after regeneration, until we are finally parted by death.

She could feel his deep joy and a pleasure that went far beyond happiness, and then he said, Now, Rose.

With the TARDIS’ help, she pressed into the telepathic centre of his mind, feeling him do the same thing in hers. The awareness of him that their bond had given her flared and deepened. She knew more than how he was feeling or what he was thinking; she knew him.

Yes. Oh, Rose. You are my forever.

This is one of the biggest differences between TISAF and most S3 rewrites. Typically, the Doctor and Rose spend series three working through the remaining issues keeping them apart, and the story ends with them fully committed to each other in a romantic relationship. But since I wrote that into an S2 rewrite (and also, my headcanon is that most of that happened in S2 even in canon), in my S3 rewrite, they’re together right from the beginning. It makes a big difference several times in how things play out, not the least of which is the way it completely eliminates Martha’s crush on the Doctor. Having an actual wedding wasn’t necessary for those changes, but I really wanted to go whole hog and have them married throughout this whole story.

From chapter 9:

The Master paused the streaming radio on his laptop.

[...]

So, the Doctor and Rose had met Martha Jones. It was time to put his next piece into play.

He picked up his phone and dialled a familiar number. “Lady Thaw?” he said when the woman picked up. “Harold Saxon here. I wondered if Miss Jones had given you a final guest list for tomorrow’s gala event.”

When Lady Thaw told him that no, she didn’t expect the list until the morning, his politician’s smile spread across his face. “Then I wonder if it would be possible to have you add two more names to the list when you see it—as a personal favour to me. An old school friend of mine will be in town tomorrow with his wife, and I know they’d be fascinated with Professor Lazarus’ work.”

Lady Thaw was always willing to oblige Mr. Saxon in anything he wished, of course. “Excellent. Their names are the Doctor and Rose Tyler. No, not Doctor Tyler. His wife is Rose Tyler, but he is just the Doctor.” The Master’s smile turned sharklike. “It’s an old nickname that’s stuck, I’m afraid. You should hear what he calls me.”

The whole notion of the Master in the background of S3, pulling all the strings, was really fun to play with. Having him put the Doctor and Rose’s names on the invitation list for Lazarus’ gala just gave the story a little twist.

From chapter 14:

[The Doctor] ground his teeth, and pain exploded behind his right eye, through the temple area, and down into the jaw. “Because I deserve to be punished! I destroyed two races, Rose, on top of the dozens of civilisations the War had already damaged irreparably. Nothing can undo that.”

Rose was quiet for a several minutes. The Doctor could tell she was deep in thought, but his own mind was too frazzled for him to be able to pick up on her train of thought

When she finally spoke, she said the last thing he’d expected her to say. “You’re right.”

“What?” Rose wasn’t supposed to agree with his self-condemnation. She was the one who always tried to get him to see the good in himself.

“You’re right,” she repeated. “Nothing can undo it. Your planet is gone, and your people with it.”

The Doctor flinched away from her, curling himself into the corner of the couch. Hearing the harsh truth from her lips prodded at the ache lodged in his chest that he’d been trying to ignore since he’d ended the War. “Rose, please…” he whispered.

But she was relentless. “I can’t imagine what it must have felt like, to look at the destruction both sides were causing and know it was a choice between the end of the War, or the end of the universe.”

The memory of that moment was still crystal clear in the Doctor’s mind, however. He’d felt the timelines converging for months—years even—until there had been only two possible endings to the War.

He’d tried so hard to find another way. His eighth incarnation had fought on the front lines, becoming a warrior instead of the Doctor he’d claimed to be. But when the Daleks broke through the sky trenches and Arcadia fell, he’d known there was no other way. Breaking into the archives was easy. Using the Moment… was not.

His eyes grew hot, and the Doctor felt a tear streak down his face. He wiped it away impatiently, but another followed, and another, until sobs shook his body.

Rose reached for him then, and despite his hurt confusion, he let her guide him until they were both lying down on the couch. She offered the comfort then that she’d withheld earlier, and he sank into the solace their bond provided, leaning on her strength.

His tears slowed gradually, and as they did, he realised Rose was whispering words of comfort and apology as she rubbed his back. He pulled back enough to look at her face, noticing the damp spot his tears had left on her shirt as he did so.

Rose was biting her lip and there were tears in her own eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said, answering his unspoken question. “But I just thought… had you ever let yourself grieve, Doctor?”

A sharp retort sprung to his lips—of course he’d grieved. But his scratchy eyes and sore throat gave him pause. Had he ever allowed himself the release of tears?

She nodded. “That’s what I thought. An’ it’s not good to just hold all that in for so long. It was time to let it go, Doctor.”

This scene is so important. One of the reasons I ship the Doctor and Rose so hard is because I truly believe they are better together than they are apart. A big part of that for the Doctor is the way Rose helps him deal with his grief and guilt over the end of the Time War. She fell in love with him when he was still scarred and grieving, but that doesn’t mean she wants him to stay that way. 

From chapter 18:

Rose looked over his shoulder at the empty platform where Dalek Caan had been controlling the hybrids. “He’s falling through Time, Doctor. And he won’t escape unscathed.”

“Emergency temporal shift,” the Doctor told her. “It’s a rubbish way to travel, really—who knows where he’ll end up, or what it’ll do to him?”

Rose nodded absently. “It won’t be just his body this time though, Doctor,” she said. “It’s gonna tear his mind apart.”

The Doctor repressed a shiver. He could feel the timelines flowing around them, and he knew Dalek Caan had reminded Rose of something she’d seen when she was Bad Wolf. With an effort, he held back his questions—he didn’t really want to know how the last Dalek would play into their lives.

This gets back to the notion, established in that scene at the very end of TMMOT, that Rose’s time sense is occasionally more acute than the Doctor’s. There are key moments in their life together that she will feel more strongly when they happen. It’s a plot device I’ve tried not to overuse, but it’s something that makes a lot of sense to me since she literally saw all of time when she was Bad Wolf. And this is the first time it’s really used in the story.

From chapter 21:

The Doctor didn’t say a word as he sent the TARDIS into the Vortex. Rose tamped down her own building anger as best as she could; at least one of them should remain calm.

[...]

“And what’s your excuse for that stunt in the cathedral?” he asked, his voice biting.

“You said you needed to get Lazarus into the bell tower.”

“But I didn’t say I wanted you to act as bait!”

Rose took a deep breath and blew it out her nose. “Did you have another plan to get him up there?” she asked calmly.

The Doctor paced in front of their bed in his black trousers and unbuttoned dress shirt. “No,” he admitted finally, running his hand through his hair. 

[...]

“You promised you wouldn’t send me away again. Didn’t you mean it?”

His anger faded, and he ran his hands wearily over his face. “Yeah,” he said, his voice hoarse.

Rose walked towards him slowly until they were standing face to face, about three feet apart. “What’s this really about, Doctor?”

His hands dropped to his sides, and he sagged in defeat. “I just want to keep you safe.”

“We stick together as much as possible to keep each other safe, don’t we?” Rose watched his face, and when she thought he was softening, she reached for his hand. “And we don’t just stand aside watching when people are in trouble; we help.”

“I know,” he groaned, “but if you were hurt…”

“Says the man I’ve found unconscious three times this week,” Rose retorted. “Are you going to stop running into dangerous situations?”

He sighed. “No.”

“Then you can’t expect me to.”

“Expect, no,” he agreed. “Wish for…”

Rose chuckled wryly. “I know the feeling.”

The Doctor nodded, and she thought she’d finally made her point. He took her hand, and she went willingly into his arms, breathing in the comforting honey scent of his skin.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear.

Rose pressed a kiss to his collarbone. “You’re forgiven.” She rested her cheek against his chest, considering her next words. “Can I tell you a secret?” she asked.

“Of course,” he said.

“I always feel safest when I’m with you.” His surprise rippled across their bond, and Rose tightened her arms around his waist. “Always,” she repeated firmly.

“But… why? How?” he asked. “I don’t try to find trouble, but somehow it seems like almost every trip ends in danger. How could you possibly feel safe with me?”

Rose took a half step back so she could look him in the eye. “Because you’re brilliant. When we’re in those situations, I know that if we’re going to get out of it, it’ll probably be because you figured out the magic secret that’ll solve everything.”

“Only if you haven’t figured it out first,” the Doctor interjected. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Rose—you’re brilliant too.”

“About time you noticed,” Rose said cheekily. “I’ve been saving your life since day one, and don’t you forget it.”

A small smile finally crept across his face. “How could I? A pink and yellow girl swings into my life on a chain, taking out the bad guys and sweeping me off my feet in one move. That’s not something I’ll ever forget.”

Rose undid the Doctor’s cufflinks and slid the shirt off his shoulders. “I also feel safe when I’m with you because… because you love me,” she said quietly. “I know you’ll always protect me if you can.” She tossed the shirt onto the bed, then pulled his vest over his head and threw that into the laundry. “Don’t you feel safe with me for the same reason?”

“Of course I do,” he said, his sincerity and conviction easing the little doubt she’d had.

Rose hung the Doctor’s shirt up in the wardrobe, then walked back to him and turned her back to him. He silently unzipped her dress, and that was soon hanging up as well.

“Then are you going to yell at me the next time I follow you into something dangerous?” Rose asked.

“No,” he promised.

It was part of his wedding vows, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. He’ll always hate watching Rose run into danger, and this will probably cause tension in their relationship occasionally for their entire lives. But this time, Rose really needed to lay it all out for him--why it wasn’t right for him to act like that, how hypocritical it is, and how wrong he is overall. 

From chapter 28:

John led Rose around the floor, loving the effortless way she moved. She smiled up at him, the beautiful, teasing smile that meant she had something up her sleeve.

“Do you remember how you asked me to dance, the very first time?” she asked in answer to his raised eyebrow.

He groaned, and a flush crept up the back of his neck. “That was not one of my better moments.”

“I don’t know,” she drawled. “When the gorgeous man who’s just saved your entire neighbourhood walks up to you, holds out his hand, asks you to dance, and then adds, ‘I’ve got the moves, but I wouldn’t want to boast,’ it makes an impression.”

Even two years later, John couldn’t fathom what had made him say something so audacious. “I suppose you did agree to dance with me, even after that ridiculous comment.”

Rose’s fingers played with the hair curling at the nape of his neck. “Well, to be honest, I’d been watching you for a while, hoping you might say something.”

John nearly stopped in the middle of the dance floor. “You what?” he said, his voice embarrassingly close to a squeak.

The natural pink in her cheeks deepened a little. “Yeah… I don’t know if you remember, but I was there that day—the day of the accident at the factory. I watched you and Captain Jack get everyone out before the fumes were too dangerous, and then take the chemicals into that abandoned hospital. We could hear the explosion where we waited, down by the river, and until the two of you showed up, we didn’t know if you were safe. You were… incredible, John.”

John gaped down at his Rose. “Well, as long as we’re sharing secrets,” he said, “I saw you that day too. Helping that boy who was looking for his mummy? You were so kind and gentle with him. So I found out your name and then wrangled an introduction that evening so I could dance with you.”

Rose ducked closer to him and hid her blushing face against his chest. John’s arms tightened around her, heedless of the raised eyebrows their embrace was garnering. He bent his head so his lips were nearly touching her ear and whispered, “I fell in love with you the moment you took my hand.”

The hand he held flexed, and he felt her sigh. “So did I.”

Perhaps this isn’t crucial to the overall plot, but the Human Nature arc is my favourite part of this whole story and I had to share something from it. I love this snippet from the dance, before the Family interrupts their romantic happiness. It was so much fun coming up with an AU version of their “how we met” story that the TARDIS could have given them. 

From chapter 30:

Timothy looked at the Doctor and Rose, and something in his gaze made the hairs stand up on the back of the Doctor’s neck. “The Doctor and Rose Tyler,” he said in a distant voice. “Together, you burn at the centre of time and can see the turn of the universe. Even when the Wolf is silenced, your story will not be over.” His gaze sharpened. “You are… forever.”

The couple shared a startled glance. Neither of them had ever told anyone else about that word. “Timothy, you are brilliant,” the Doctor said sincerely. Rose gave him a hug, then joined Martha inside. “You’ll like this bit,” the Doctor told Tim, wishing he could see the look on the lad’s face when the ship dematerialised.

Rose watched the Doctor as he took the TARDIS into the vortex. The faint lines around his eyes and mouth and the tension in his body matched the anxiety he was projecting over the bond, and once he threw the dematerialisation lever, she took his hand and encouraged him to sit with her in the jump seat.

“What do you think Tim meant, about me being silenced?” she asked.

He sighed and ran a hand through his damp hair. “I honestly don’t have a clue, Rose,” he told her. “Last night, before I faced the Family, he asked if I could hear you, howling for your mate. I told him the truth—I can always hear you.”

Rose pulled her sonic out of her pocket and after adjusting the settings, pointed it at the Doctor to dry him off. “Do you think something’s going to happen, and you won’t be able to?”

“Not possible,” the Doctor said flatly. “If even changing species couldn’t get rid of our bond, nothing can.”

Oh, Doctor. You should know better than to declare something so definitively.

From chapter 32:

[The Doctor] followed her into their room and turned down the covers while she fumbled through undressing as though she’d been up for two full, busy days. “How long have you felt like this, Rose?” he asked when she slowly pulled a nightgown over her head.

“Hmmm? Felt like what?” she asked as she crawled under the covers.

Real concern knit his brow then, but Rose was asleep before he could clarify the question. He fingered his sonic screwdriver and eventually did the most basic scan possible. It cleared the worst of his fears, and reassured that she wasn’t suffering from some fatal disease, he was able to strip out of his own clothes and stretch out beside her.

Normally, even in her sleep Rose would sense him joining her in bed and curl up against him, but tonight, she didn’t move. Wanting her to rest, the Doctor contented himself with taking her hand.

He sighed as he stared at up the boring ceiling. Stuck on Earth yet again, and judging by the information he had, it looked like they’d be here for a few months. Even though the transcript and photos didn’t confirm that the TARDIS found them, the Doctor had no doubt that the plan worked. Or would work. He rubbed at his forehead; tenses in time travel could be a real headache.

And all that would only be a minor inconvenience if it wasn’t becoming apparent that Rose was ill. The Doctor’s big Time Lord brain could occasionally be a curse, rather than a blessing, and tonight was one of those times, as he lay awake and pondered all the alien diseases she might have.

[...]

Rose groaned and rolled over when the sunlight hit her face, pulling the duvet over her head. She’d been asleep for… eight hours, she figured, but she felt like she hadn’t slept a wink.

“Rose?” the Doctor said. “How are you feeling, love?”

“Like I’ve been run over by a lorry,” Rose grumbled. “Lemme sleep.”

To her displeasure, he pulled the duvet out of her fingers and down over her face. “I wish I could, Rose, but I’m getting worried about how tired you are. I’d like to do some scans with the sonic, if that’s all right with you.”

[...]

The Doctor glanced at the sonic screwdriver, and his eyes widened. “Oh. Well. Oh. I guess that does make some sense.”

“What? What makes sense?” She peered over the Doctor’s shoulder, but couldn’t make heads nor tails of the results. “It’s decade lag, isn’t it?”

“In a manner of speaking,” the Doctor said, typically vague. “It’s the TARDIS.”

“What do you mean, it’s the TARDIS? She isn’t here.”

“And that’s the problem,” the Doctor agreed. “You and her… I have a feeling you’re more connected than she’s ever let on.”

Rose rubbed at her forehead. “Please, Doctor, just explain it to me. I’m too tired to follow your cryptic rambling today.” She felt badly when his shoulders slumped, but he was making her nervous and she just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Well. Remember when we met Donna? Or rather, why we met Donna?”

Almost a year had passed, but Rose quickly figured out what he meant. “You mean, the… hu— huon particles?”

“That’s right. Yours came from the heart of the TARDIS, and as long as you’re somewhat close to her, she helps hold them in stasis. When you aren’t together…”

Rose’s mouth went dry. “Doctor! You told Donna huon particles were deadly!”

“Oh no, love.”

The Doctor sent a wave of reassurance over the bond. After Rose relaxed, she realised the Doctor would have been much more upset if her life were at stake.

“Okay, so what is it then?”

“Huon particles take a tremendous amount of energy to maintain. When we’re at home, or at least close to her, the TARDIS lends you some of her energy. Without her…”

“I’m having to do all the work myself,” Rose finished. She sank back into her pillows. “So does that mean I’ll be tied to the TARDIS for the rest of my life? Not that I ever plan to leave, but what would happen if we were separated somehow?”

The Doctor nodded soberly. “I think we’re about to find out exactly what would happen.”

There are lots of reasons I decided to do this. The first is that it’s always a good idea to add a cost when you give a character extra-human power or knowledge. It keeps you from just using the power willy-nilly.

More specific to the story, I wanted a Rose-centric story for 1969. And I wanted a Rose-centric story where her personality would lead her to make a mistake. You know Rose Tyler. Do you think she’s going to listen to medical advice and take it easy for three whole months? No. She pushes herself past her endurance and ends up very sick with the flu... in 1969, before anti-viral meds. And with no access to the TARDIS.

From chapter 41:

[The Doctor] took a deep breath through his nose and tried to get himself under control. “Master, just calm down. Just look at what you’re doing. Just stop. If you could see yourself—”

“Oh, do excuse me,” the Master said to the television cameramen who were still filming. “Little bit of personal business. Back in a minute.” He looked at the guards holding the Doctor down. “Let him go.”

They shoved the Doctor down onto the floor. He pushed himself up and looked at the Master. “It’s that sound. The sound in your head. What if I could help?”

“Oh, how to shut him up?” The Master rolled his eyes and mimed talking with his hand. “I know!” He grinned widely and gestured to someone in the back of the room.

The Doctor heard a brief scuffle, and that combined with the sudden anger from Rose told him exactly what had happened. He tried to reach for her when she was pushed to the front of the room, but the guards grabbed his hands and held them behind his back.

“Did you really think I would let Rose Tyler go free?” The Master shook his head and tsked. “It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other, if you could misjudge me so badly. I’ve got your bond mate, Doctor. Your little human-Time Lord hybrid.” He twirled his laser screwdriver between his fingers. “If I remember correctly, you aren’t positive she’ll be able to regenerate. And—again, if memory serves—you aren’t too keen to find out.” His smile disappeared and he pointed the screwdriver at Rose. “Have you changed your mind?”

The Doctor seethed with rage, but he couldn’t do anything but shake his head. He wouldn’t risk Rose’s life.

The Master laughed. “Look at what Earth’s defender has been reduced to. Cowering on the floor, paralysed out of fear for his bond mate’s life.”

The look Rose gave the Doctor now was the same trusting, confident look he’d seen on her face when they’d stood in 10 Downing Street, faced with the choice to save the world at the possible cost of her life. It was a look which said she trusted him to do the right thing, to make the best choice.

He drew in a deep breath. When he’d developed his backup plan, he’d really hoped Rose would leave with Martha. Sentencing himself to a year in the gracious hospitality of the Master was one thing—leaving Rose in his hands for 366 days was entirely another.

So, Rose was on the Valiant during the Year That Never Was. Hmmm... 

From chapter 43:

“Can we skip the ‘previously on the Master and Rose’ bit and move on to today’s episode?” Rose asked impatiently.

Amusement lit the Master’s eyes. “As I was saying, I’ve been unable to break your bond. Your telepathic bond.”

He pulled a thin silver choker out of the box and attached it around Rose’s neck.

“Jewellery, Harry?” Rose asked. “I think my husband might get upset if I accept gifts like this from another man.”

“Your bond mate,” the Master said, irritation flashing in his eyes when she refused yet again to use the term in front of him, “won’t know any better. Not really.”

Rose straightened up and looked at the monitor. “What are you going to do to him?” she asked.

Concern flared over the bond. Rose tried to calm the Doctor with a promise that nothing was happening that was any worse than what she’d experienced so far, but that wasn’t a very reassuring thought.

“I don’t plan to do anything… to him.”

Rose wanted to hide her fear from the Doctor, but she knew he felt it. His own worry screamed at her over the bond, and she saw his hands clench into fists.

“As I was saying, I’ve discovered your bond is impossible to break. I can’t force him out of your mind, nor you out of his. But the bond makes you both stronger, and I really can’t have that.”

Despite the insolent tone she used to irritate the Master, Rose was becoming more scared by the minute. She looked at the television and tried to memorise every inch of the Doctor’s features.

I love you, she told him, hoping with every fibre of her being that this wouldn’t be her last chance to say it.

“What do you plan to do about it?” Rose asked.

The Master’s eyes glittered. “Oh, I was so hoping you would ask. Do you see this?” he asked, holding up a small remote. “This is the remote to the device I just placed on your neck—oh, and by the way, there’s an explosive wired into the latch, so don’t even think about taking it off, unless you want to lose your head.” He tilted his head. “I really don’t know if it’s possible to regenerate after being blown to bits.”

I love you, too, Rose.

Some of the tightness around her chest eased with the Doctor’s words, and she rolled her eyes at the Master. “And what does the blessed device do?” she asked. “You’re worse than all the villains on telly,” she told him matter-of-factly. “Nattering on about your plans, blah blah blah.”

“It’s a personal telepathic dampening field. And if I press this button—”

The Master pressed the red button, and Rose’s eyes slammed shut as pain seared through her mind. The bond was gone. Screams filled the room, but she ignored them as she frantically looked for the Doctor. She found the space where he should be in her mind, but instead of pulsing with the Doctor’s presence, it was dark—like a burned out lightbulb.

Her eyes flew to the CCTV to make sure the Doctor was still alive, and that was when she realised the diabolical genius of the Master’s plan. The Doctor was shouting and pounding on the walls, trying to get away from his prison. The sound was muted, but she could see him saying her name over and over.

He thought the Master had killed her.

I really love this whole story arc. The Master would do something truly heinous. Breaking the bond--making both of them feel the pain of a broken bond, and making the Doctor think she was dead--was the worst thing I could think of. The Doctor and Rose both come out of this year with PTSD related to this.

From chapter 46:

Francine pressed her lips together, but she couldn’t restrain a strangled sob. Rose reached for her slowly, pushing her hands down and knocking the gun to the floor.

Martha shoved past the Doctor to reach her mum, and Rose let her take over comforting Francine.

The Doctor released a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding, and his knees went weak for a moment. He suspected he would be even more protective of Rose than usual for a while, until he got past the constant fear of losing her again. Rose smiled up at him, and he nodded slightly.

“You still haven’t answered the question,” the Master pointed out, interrupting their silent conversation. “What happens to me?”

The Doctor left the bridge. “I’m sure UNIT has a nice cell someplace where they can keep you, until your regenerations run out.” He crossed his arms and stared at the Master. “Their headquarters are located in the Tower of London, after all.”

“You’re just going to… lock me up?” the Master stammered, his nose wrinkled in disgust.

“What did you expect, Master?” the Doctor snapped. “An open hand and a welcome onto my ship, when you killed my wife?” He took a deep breath. “I won’t let you die when you’re the only other Gallifreyan in existence, but that doesn’t mean I have to let you be part of our life.”

The Master smirked. “That’s the only thing keeping you from doing it, isn’t it, Doctor?” He tipped his head back insolently. “You would kill me yourself for what I did to your precious Rose, if it wasn’t for the fact of my genetic code.”

“Oi, all you did was give me a fancy bit of jewellery,” Rose retorted. “Quit trying to rile the Doctor up.”

The Master’s gaze flickered over to Rose, and the Doctor bit back a laugh at the consternation in his eyes. He still didn’t speak, though, and the Master’s taunt lingered in the air between them, despite Rose’s attempt to dispel the tension.

Would he kill the Master, if it wouldn’t leave him once again the last of the Time Lords from Gallifrey? All the bitterness he’d kept locked down for the last year swirled through him, and there was a large part of him that wanted to kill the Master anyway.

Rose took his hand, and he jumped a little—it had been a long time since she’d been able to sneak up on him like that. But her hand in his gave him strength, just like it always did. He shook his head. “That’s not the way I do things.”

The gunshot took them all by surprise. The Doctor looked towards the sound and saw Lucy Saxon, pale, frightened, and angry, holding the gun Francine had discarded. His head swivelled in the opposite direction, just in time to watch the Master slump onto the deck.

“Put it down,” Jack ordered Lucy.

The Doctor walked over to the Master and knelt at his side. The Master’s face contorted in pain, his mouth working as he gasped for breath. “Always the women.”

“I didn’t see her,” the Doctor said truthfully.

“Are you happy now, Doctor?” The Master grunted. “You can watch me die, and you didn’t have to pull the trigger yourself.”

The Doctor frowned down at him, a little disturbed by how accurate that was. “You’re not dying,” he said curtly. “Don’t be stupid. It’s only a bullet. Just regenerate.”

Victory shone in the Master’s eyes. “No.”

Rose knelt down beside him. “Don’t you remember what I told you, Master?” The Master looked at her, but his eyes refused to focus. “It doesn’t need to be like this. You could come with us, and maybe eventually the Doctor could find a way to get the drums to stop.”

The Doctor bit back a protest. He did not want the Master anywhere near his TARDIS or his Rose.

But the Master didn’t seem inclined to take her up on the offer, anyway. “I didn’t want to spend the rest of my lives tied to you before; what makes you think I’ve changed my mind?”

“It’s only the two of you left, though,” Rose argued. “He’s got me, but the two of you have known each other for so long.”

The Master’s lips twisted into a pained, vindictive smile. “How about that? I win.” He grunted, and swallowed hard. “Will it stop, Doctor? The drumming. Will it stop?” He drew one last rasping breath, then his eyes closed.

The Doctor stared down at the limp body in his arms. There was a time when the Master had been one of his closest friends, when his death would have sent him into shattering grief. Even a year ago, he would have been devastated to find another Time Lord, only to lose him again. But with Rose beside him and yet not in his head, the only thing the Doctor could think was that the person responsible for all the pain and anguish of the last five months was dead.

This is part one of the change in the Master’s arc. The idea that the Doctor would be broken up over losing him when he and Rose were still suffering the effects of what he’d done--because their bond isn’t back yet--just felt really... unlikely to me. I know they were great friends before, but if your best friend from high school kidnapped your spouse and made you think they were dead for three months, I think that would probably destroy what was left of your affection for them.

From chapter 47:

[Rose] tugged the Doctor down onto the couch beside her and handed him the sonic. “Take it off, Doctor,” she begged. “Please… I need…”

“Yes,” he whispered. “So do I.” He adjusted the setting and pointed the device at Rose. “Let’s see what kind of lock we’re dealing with first,” he said, scanning the collar. His face brightened when he saw the results. “Oh, that’s simple,” he said, his nimble fingers turning the controls.

The Doctor held the screwdriver up, then looked seriously at Rose. “Are you ready, love? This will probably be a little overwhelming—like getting your sight back after being blind for five months.”

Rose nodded her head quickly and took the Doctor’s free hand. “Don’t care. I’ll deal with it if it is.”

He nodded, then thumbed the control on the sonic. The lock popped open, and the Doctor dropped his tool to pull the collar off of her.

Rose’s head swam under the onslaught of thoughts and emotions sweeping over her. The TARDIS was humming joyfully, happy to have her Wolf and her Thief back where they belonged.

And the Doctor…

Their bond snapped back to life the moment the collar was removed, and she could feel every bit of love, and relief, and elation he felt at being reunited with her. His pain and anger over their forced separation were almost as potent, but Rose carefully directed his focus to the positive.

A strangled sob from the Doctor was the only warning she had before he hauled her into his arms and then stretched out on the couch with her lying beside him. A moment later, she felt a hesitant knocking in her mind, and Rose had to fight her own anger when she realised he was asking permission to enter. It was a purely symbolic gesture, but she hated the idea that he would doubt she wanted him.

Concentrating on the bond, she deepened their connection, letting her mind rest against his as closely as he held her physically. After five months without him, it felt slightly unnatural, like slipping into shoes that hadn’t been worn in a long time. But the relief from the emptiness they’d both felt so keenly more than made up for any temporary discomfort. Rose held him close, both physically and telepathically, and projected as much love and welcome as she could over the bond. The worst of the ache faded gradually, and they both sighed in relief at the realisation that they were truly together again.

When the swirl of emotions settled somewhat, Rose’s head was resting on the Doctor’s shoulder and his fingers were tangled in her hair. She tilted her head back and pressed a kiss to his Adam’s apple, followed by one to his jawline.

The Doctor hummed his approval, then shifted and tilted his head so her next kiss could reach his lips. Rose smiled at the silent request and ran a hand through his hair as she kissed him gently.

Together again at last.

From chapter 47:

She rarely paid much attention to her connection to the ship, usually taking it for granted, but today, she closed her eyes and focused on the gold thread that linked them. The image of a wolf howling came to mind, and Rose hummed her agreement.

“We are the Bad Wolf,” she whispered, then opened her eyes when the Doctor sucked in a breath. “What?”

He rubbed at his forehead. “I’ll never be fully comfortable with that,” he admitted. “Not that you have a closer connection with our ship than I do—that I honestly love. But the memory of what you did to bond with her, of what it did to you…”

Rose propped herself up on her elbow. “Is there anything of me in the TARDIS?” she wondered. “Like, she left the huon particles in me—is there anything of Rose in her? Or does this all go one way?”

“One way, and one time only,” the Doctor said firmly. “I see the ideas lurking in your mind, Rose Tyler, but please remember, merging with the TARDIS killed you once.”

Timelines shimmered around Rose. The Doctor was wrong. It wasn’t merging with the TARDIS that had killed her; it was taking in the Vortex. If one could be done without the other…

So, would it spoil too much to tell you this relates directly to what Rose does to save them on the Crucible in Forever and Never Apart?

From chapter 47/48:

When the flames had engulfed the Master’s body, the Doctor turned silently and they started to leave.

They’d only taken two steps away from the pyre when Rose stopped. The timelines were flowing around this moment so heavily they almost hummed. She remembered what the Doctor had said about key moments of her life resonating more because of her time as Bad Wolf, and she pulled her hand away from his and followed her instincts around to the other side of the pyre.

“What are you doing, Rose?”

“Doesn’t it seem odd to you, Doctor, that barely five minutes after you told him you knew better than to think he would ever purposely end his life, the Master did exactly that?”

“It was about finally beating me. He wanted to leave me alone,” the Doctor said, his earlier bitterness back.

Rose shook her head as she scanned the ground for… something. “Blowing up the rockets and making the Earth burn would have beaten you, too. He only chose to die when it was obvious he’d lost. It makes me wonder if he had a back-up plan in place.” She spotted something glinting on the ground and picked it up. “I wonder what this is.”

The Doctor came around to join her, and his eyes widened when he saw the ornate silver ring she held. “That’s a resurrection ring,” he said.

“Like in Harry Potter?”

“Sort of.” The Doctor took it and held it up to the firelight. “I thought those were only a myth. They should only be a myth.”

Rose looked at the circular Gallifreyan on the bezel of the ring. “And what does this definitely-not-a-myth do?”

“You leave an imprint on the ring of your identity, and it can be used to… well, not technically bring you back to life… more like create a clone of you, but one that shares all your memories and experiences.”

“It’s a horcrux,” Rose said flatly.

“Well… in a manner of speaking… yes.”

[...]

While Rose took a shower after breakfast, the Doctor moved the TARDIS so they were parked with a supernova just outside the doors. He’d promised her they’d dispose of the Master’s ring, and honestly, after the year they’d just been through, he was just as anxious to make sure his old enemy couldn’t come back.

Once they were in orbit around the dying star, he pushed the doors open and leaned against the doorjamb. He stared out at the stars and watched time swirl and eddy around them. Galaxies born, planets dying, stars going supernova—it was all driven by Time, the force that held the universe together and let it fall apart. The Time War had damaged the Web of Time extensively, but frayed as it was, this much remained.

The Master’s paradox had left ripples in the timelines that would take months or even years to smooth out. The ripples threw his time senses off, but something tugged at him, something about this supernova.

Unable to stand not knowing, he pushed off from the door and walked back to the console. “Why did you pick this supernova, old girl?” he muttered as he checked the coordinates. His eyebrows went up when he made the connection, but Rose appeared before he could say anything to the TARDIS.

She took his hand. “Ready?”

The Doctor pointed to the open doors. “Mount Doom awaits,” he told her. Rose laughed, and a smile tugged at the Doctor’s lips as he followed her to the door.

He pulled the ring out of his pocket and handed it to her. “I think you should have the honour. You were the one who found it, after all.”

Rose hefted the silver ring in her hand, then pitched it out into the mass of gaseous clouds. “Good riddance to bad rubbish,” she muttered as they watched it spin through the vacuum of space.

The Doctor stared, transfixed, as several timelines suddenly disappeared. He could only see shadowy glimpses of them—of a mad Master turning everyone into his clone, of something coming back that should remain lost, of his own painful regeneration—but what he saw was enough to make him grateful that Rose had found the ring.

Yes, I just undid End of Time. The Master will not come back, and without the Master, Rassilon and the Time Lords don’t have the connection of the drums to follow to bring Gallifrey back. 

[...]

The Doctor looked at Rose, feeling her melancholy at letting go of this younger version of him. Then he spotted the previous Doctor’s hat on the console, and even though he knew his past self could find a new one in the wardrobe room, he flicked a switch that brought the other man back.

“I think Rose wanted a proper goodbye,” he said, putting a hand on her back and nudging her towards his past self.

Rose looked up at her Doctor, then stepped forward to wrap her arms around the previous Doctor. “Please, take care of yourself,” she whispered in his ear. “Things are gonna happen, and you won’t want to, but that’s when you meet me. And Doctor… no matter what we’ve been through, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

The younger Doctor looked down at her, and the older Doctor smirked at the confusion on the other man’s face. Even where he was, before the Time War, he couldn’t comprehend Rose’s devotion to him. Oh, just give it a few centuries, Doctor. It’ll make even less sense to you by the time you actually meet her.

[...]

This time, when his previous self disappeared, the Doctor let him go. As he did, the memory of meeting himself and Rose unlocked, permanently this time.

Rose looked up at him. “How does that work, him knowing me? You didn’t know me when we met, did you?”

“Absolutely not,” the Doctor said adamantly. “That would have been a massive deception—I never would have done that to you, Rose.”

She tilted her head. “Yeah, I guess I didn’t think about it like that. But how does it work, then?”

The Doctor sat down on the jump seat and patted the empty spot. When she sat down beside him, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

“We talked about this on Barcelona, remember?” he began. “How bonding with a Time Lord bonds you to every one of their regenerations, past and present?”

“Right…” Rose traced a pattern on his thigh, and a moment later, he recognised it as the circular symbols making up the word forever. “But you didn’t say that if we met younger versions of you, they’d recognise me.”

[...]

The Doctor leaned his head against the seat back and sighed. “Marriage bonds are… trans-temporal,” he said. “Any time I meet you once we have a bond, I will feel your side of the bond call to me.”

Rose shifted beside him, and he looked down at her frowning face. “Then how come you didn’t recognise me in Henrik’s?” The lines on her forehead cleared before he could answer. “Oh! You didn’t know me when I met you the first time, because I hadn’t bonded with you yet.”

“Right! Of course, every time I meet you before I met you…” The Doctor let that sentence trail off, snorting at the absolute ridiculousness of it. “Anyway, if I meet you as my bond mate before I meet you properly in my ninth incarnation, I have to hide the memories so I don’t ruin my own timeline. One thing I’d never want to ruin is the way I met you, Rose.”

Rose looked up at him, a soft smile on her face. “You said just one word.”

The Doctor reached for her hand. “I said, ‘Run.’”

I really loved rewriting Time Crash. the bit about how the bond works when they meet other Doctors is something I’d only mentioned once in the series, in But Being Spent--which means it had never come up in the proper timeline. And since I ship every Doctor x Rose Tyler, I loved having both Doctors be captivated by her when she took care of the TARDIS. 

From chapter 2:

Rose tugged on his tie and smiled at him. “I’m glad you eventually decided to come back for me.”

The Doctor rested his hands on her hips and pulled her close. “That was pretty much a given from the moment we met, love,” he told her, delighting in the way she still blushed when he hinted at how long he’d loved her. “I held out as long as I could—couldn’t blame you for not wanting to be with me. But in the end, everything inside me just screamed to go back and make sure you came with me.”

Rose smiled for a moment, then narrowed her eyes and took a step back. “You’re trying to distract me,” she deduced. “You don’t want to go onto the Titanic, so you’re telling me stories, hoping I’ll forget.”

The Doctor groaned. “And it was so close to working.”

“But why don’t you want to go?”

He turned around and adjusted some controls on the console. “Oh, no reason really,” he said breezily, only realising his mistake when a wave of betrayal hit him seconds before he heard Rose gasp.

The Doctor spun around to look at his bond mate, his eyes wide. “Rose…”

“You… you lied to me,” she whispered. “You haven’t lied to me in almost three years. Why now, Doctor?”

He closed his eyes and slumped against the console. “I spent the last five months on the Valiant lying to the Master every day. He wanted me to break, wanted to see my agony over losing you, and I refused to let him. Not admitting that I’m upset became second nature.” He opened his eyes and looked at Rose again. “That doesn’t excuse lying to you, though. I’m so sorry, Rose.”

She tilted her head and looked at him hard, and eventually nodded once. “It became a habit,” she said. “Self-preservation. I can understand that. But try not to do it again.”

“I will,” he said fervently. “I promise, Rose.”

This is the first (and according to current plans, only) time the Doctor or Rose have broken the “do not lie to your bond mate” rule. Once he explains what happened, it really doe make perfect sense. Still, it leaves him feeling guilty enough that he acquiesces to her desire to go on the Titanic. 

From chapter 2:

The logo peeled away to reveal a bald man with brilliant blue eyes. “Max Capricorn Cruiseliners,” he said, and the Doctor took an immediate dislike to his smarmy voice and smile. “The fastest, the farthest, the best. And I should know because my name is Max.”

In the cheesiest special effect the Doctor had seen in ages, Max smiled right at the camera, and the light reflected off his gold tooth.

“Right,” the Doctor muttered when the screen went back to the company logo. “That told us almost nothing.”

“It told us the company is owned by an arrogant wanker who’s probably the bad guy,” Rose countered.

The Doctor looked down at her. “All right, explain to me how you’ve figured that out, when we don’t even know anything is going to happen.”

“Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?” A cheeky smile broke through her serious attitude, and he realised she was teasing. “Only villains smile like that.”

“Of course,” the Doctor drawled. “How could I have forgotten?”

[...]

Suspicion rolled off Rose as they watched the Host be carried away. What is it? the Doctor asked.

Remember after our Christmas with Donna, when we decided that any robotic beings wanting to harm us could take the form of something besides Santa?

A shiver of unease ran down the Doctor’s spine. He did remember that, though he hadn’t thought of it until Rose had brought it up. You think they’re the bad guy then? he teased, trying to lighten the mood. Again, all he really wanted to do was beg Rose to let them go home.

Pilot fish, she said darkly. Bein’ controlled by the baddie.

The Doctor stared at her. Obviously they weren’t really pilot fish—that wasn’t her point. She meant that like last year, the robots were proxies, letting the actual villain hide in the shadows.

One of the canon traits I love about Rose Tyler is the way she often put her finger on exactly what the problem was well before they even fully grasped that there was a problem. 

From chapter 2:

The Doctor ground his teeth together, impatience pouring off him. “Never mind that; your shields are down. Check your scanners, Captain. You’ve got meteoroids coming in and no shielding.”

“You have no authorisation. You will clear the comms at once,” the captain ordered.

“Yeah?” the Doctor snapped as he looked out the window again. “Just look starboard!”

The steward grabbed the Doctor by the arm. “Come with me, sir.”

Rose followed as they dragged him away from the party, and the Doctor looked back at her. Rose, you can still get in the TARDIS.

Not a chance, she told him.

Please, love…

No! The last time I let you out of my sight on a ship… She swallowed hard and immediately felt the Doctor’s apology. S’okay. I know you just want me to be safe, but right now, if I have to choose between being safe and being with you, I’m gonna pick you.

You might have picked up on this story’s theme in the summary. This is all about peeling back the layers of denial they’ve covered themselves with since the Valiant to reveal their PTSD. We’ve had a few hints of it here and there as the Doctor really really would rather not be on the ship and has only stayed because Rose asked. But this is the first hint that the events of this story will be similar enough to cause flashbacks.

From chapter 3:

Rose turned back around, wanting to see what had excited the Doctor. When she did, her reaction was the exact opposite of his.

“Leave it alone,” she said, staring down at the inert Host. “Don’t touch it; don’t wake it up.”

“But it’s got the strength of ten,” the Doctor protested. “It could help us shift the rubble.”

Rose glared at him and placed her hands on her hips. “Trombone playing Santas,” she said. “Two years in a row. You couldn’t pay me enough to trust that thing.”

The Doctor sighed somewhat longingly, but he nodded and they kept climbing.

“Hold on,” Rickston said. “Are we really going to ignore a potential resource simply because your blonde trophy wife has a ridiculous phobia of robots?”

Rose bristled, but the Doctor put a hand on her arm and she took a deep breath. Then he turned around and glared at Rickston.

“Rose Tyler is far more than a trophy wife, and I guarantee she’s smarter than you. She’s been my partner for almost five years, and her instincts are hardly ever wrong. They’ve saved our lives more than once. She’s right; we do have a history with robots designed to look like various holiday characters trying to kill us. If she says the Host aren’t to be trusted, I will take her word for it. Now, come on.”

The Doctor felt Rose’s hand take his a moment later, and he squeezed automatically in greeting. Then she brushed a telepathic caress against the bond, and he glanced down at her.

Rose’s eyes glowed. Thank you, Doctor. That was… thanks.

Her gratitude lifted his mood, and he returned her telepathic caress. I won’t let people get away with talking about you like that. You’re brilliant, Rose—worth so much more than Rickston Slade.

Three important things here: Rose’s instincts keeping them safe, the growing animosity between herself and Rickston, and the hint at what her deepest trauma was. Obviously, the Doctor’s lingering fears are all about losing her, and he becomes very over-protective. But Rose never thought he was dead, so how did the Master leave her damaged?

From chapter 3:

“Bring him back!” Foon begged. “Can’t you bring him back? Bring him back, Doctor!”

Rose looked up at the Doctor, trying to understand the wild emotions he was projecting. He stared at the grieving woman, his eyes glassy with tears. His mouth worked a few times, but he couldn’t get any words out, and after a moment, he shook his head helplessly.

His emotions crystallised into grief, anger, and denial, and it only took her a second to realise he was caught in a flashback. When he held his arms out for Rose, begging her to come to him, she ran into her Doctor’s embrace.

She could feel him trembling when she wrapped her arms around him, and she pressed a kiss to his chest. I’m right here, Doctor, she promised. It’s just a memory.

He drew a shuddering breath. I know. But gods, Rose, I said the same things when I thought… when the Master…

Rose heard heavy metal footsteps in the corridor and pulled back to look the Doctor in the eye. You going to be all right?

He sniffed and nodded. I have to be.

And the flashbacks begin...

From chapter 4:

The Doctor took her hand, and she looked up at him. “Ready, Rose Tyler?” She nodded, and he tugged her away from the trio. “Run for your life!”

For the first time in all her years of running with the Doctor, the anxiety tightening in a band around her chest made it impossible for Rose to enjoy the adrenaline rush. Instead, she focused on breathing as they crossed the catwalk again, retraced their steps through the corridor and serving station where they’d rested, and went down the stairs they’d climbed less than an hour before.

At each landmark, she remembered another way she could have lost the Doctor. What if she hadn’t been so insistent on not repairing the Host? Or what would have happened if even one of the flying halos had hit its mark? It was too easy to imagine herself in Foon’s place, staring at the engine core and trying to convince herself that her husband wasn’t gone.

We’re going to be fine, Rose.

Her chest seized up, and Rose stumbled down the last few stairs. The Doctor caught her in his arms and put his hands on her shoulders, holding her at arm’s length and looking into her eyes.

“Breathe, love.”

Rose took a breath, but it caught in her throat on a sob. I can’t!

“You can, Rose.”

The Doctor closed his eyes and a moment later, Rose felt him in her mind, tugging at her anxiety, trying to get her to let go of it—or it to let go of her.

“Take a deep breath for me.”

He pressed his forehead to hers and breathed with her a few times. The gesture calmed her enough to obey his quiet command, taking one breath, and then another, until she was breathing easily.

The Doctor pulled back and brushed his thumbs against the apples of her cheeks. “All right there?” he asked tenderly.

Rose nodded and managed a shaky laugh. “I have to admit, this wasn’t what I had in mind for our evening.”

He shook his head. “Nor I. But, Rose Tyler, my partner in this crazy life we lead, I’m confident we can handle this the same way we do everything else.”

“Together,” Rose finished.

And continue.

From chapter 4:

Doctor, is there a setting on the sonic that would turn it into a remote control?

42b. Point it at the control panel, and it’ll transfer the control of the device to you.

[...]

Rose peered around the forklift and snarled at the sight of two Host dragging the Doctor away from Max Capricorn. She no longer cared if her plan was overkill. Max had used up all the second chances he was going to get.

“Not so clever now, Doctor,” Max taunted. “A shame we couldn’t work together. You’re rather good. All that banter, yet not a word wasted. Time for me to retire. The Titanic is falling. The sky will burn. Let the Christmas inferno commence. Oh. Oh, Host,” he sang out. “Kill him.”

“Oi, Max!” Rose shouted as the Host removed their halos.

Every head swivelled around to look at Rose, and she started the forklift up and drove it directly at Max.

“You look a little stuck,” she told him as the forks caught under his life support system. “Mind if I give you a lift?” Max frowned, and the engines on his little scooter box revved, keeping him in place.

“Rose, duck!” the Doctor yelled, and she dodged just in time to avoid being hit by a halo.

She grunted when she hit the deck and rolled, but held onto her sonic screwdriver. However, her momentary distraction had allowed Max to inch forward, pushing against the forklift.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Rose thumbed the controls, lifting the forks. His eyes, one blue and the other glassy and sightless, widened when he realised he’d lost. Rose pressed her lips into a tight smile. “Mr. Capricorn!” she yelled. “I hope you have a nice trip.”

I couldn’t save hardly anyone in this story. The deaths are all really integral to the plot. But I could save Astrid, because if Rose is with the Doctor, Astrid doesn’t feel as much like he needs someone to help him. 

From chapter 5:

The Doctor stood stock still while Rickston pulled him into a tight hug, and Rose had to put her hand over her mouth to hide her smile at the nonplussed look on his face.

“The funny thing is,” Rickston commented as he released the Doctor and stepped back, “I said Max Capricorn was falling apart. Just before the crash, I sold all my shares, transferred them to his rivals. It’s made me rich. What do you think of that?”

Rose’s anger with the wealthy businessman finally boiled over. “I’ll tell you what I think, Harry,” she snarled. “I think you’re a self-centred, egotistical bastard who needs to learn that other people matter just as much as you do. People died today, and all you can think about is your bank account. What kind of cold, heartless…” She growled incoherently, gesturing in the air.

Rickston narrowed his eyes, and Rose welcomed his attack. She wouldn’t hold back.

“Who’s Harry?” he asked.

“What?” Rose’s knees locked and she swayed dangerously.

The Doctor wrapped an arm around her waist before she could fall. “Rickston, don’t you have a phone call or something to make? Blood money to celebrate?”

The businessman crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head, but his vone went off before he could argue. With one last glare at the Doctor and Rose, he walked a few steps away from them to take the call.

Rose blinked furiously, trying to hold tears back. “I…”

“You called him Harry, love,” the Doctor said quietly. He pulled her close and she rested her head on his chest, letting his double heartbeat soothe her.

The events of the day played back in Rose’s mind, each time Rickston had belittled her or been rude and unpleasant and self-centred. She closed her eyes tightly, but that couldn’t stop the memories, or the tears that seeped out from under her eyelids.

There we go. The Doctor has flashbacks to when he thought she was dead, and Rose struggles with the memory of how the aster constantly belittled her, making her feel like she wasn’t good enough to be the Doctor’s bond mate.

Once they get back on the TARDIS, she has a major panic attack. And the Doctor has a panic attack because he can’t figure out where she is.  

From chapter 5:

“Doctor?” Rose tapped his knee, and he looked down at her.

“I think we need to take some time off from the running,” he told her. “We keep telling people that we’re just travellers; let’s just be travellers. No danger; no running.”

Rose was already shaking her head. “No, we don’t… I can… that’s not…” She sighed, then licked her lips and started over. “I’m okay,” she promised him. “This was only a… a temporary hangup.”

“You’re not okay, love,” the Doctor said softly.

“No no, you can’t do this to me,” she insisted. “I’m not weak.”

The Doctor briefly wished there were a way to bring the Master back to life long enough to curse him for playing so expertly on all of Rose’s insecurities. Then he focused back on the conversation and his bond mate.

“Weakness has nothing to do with it,” he told her. “And I’m not suggesting this only for your sake, Rose. We were traumatised—both of us.”

[...]

“I wish I hadn’t insisted we go on the Titanic,” Rose said as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “We could’ve stayed home, had a perfectly nice evening in.”

The TARDIS was clearly in favour of the new plan to take it easy, and the Doctor had been trying to figure out why she had taken them to the Titanic if she thought they needed a break. Rose’s mumbled words finally gave him a possible answer.

“Yeah,” he agreed as he tilted his head, resting it against hers. “But I think… I think we needed to go through something like this to be convinced that we needed time off.”

[...]

“Doctor?” Rose tugged on the hem of her pyjama top.

“Yeah?”

“We’re going to be okay, aren’t we?”

His smile slipped away, and he wrapped his arms around her. “Oh, Rose. We are going to be more than okay—we are going to be fantastic.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It’s going to take some time, that’s all.”

Rose drew another shuddering breath and nodded. “Yeah. He said that… that if Gallifrey were still around, you would have chosen a real Time Lord.”

The Doctor couldn’t withhold the curse that spilled from his lips. “Clearly, Koschei was losing his memory,” he spat out. “I hadn’t wanted anything to do with so-called real Time Lords in centuries. I regret killing them all, and I hate the way it feels to be the last one, but that doesn’t mean I would have wanted to be saddled with one as a bond mate.”

He brushed his knuckles over Rose’s cheek and smiled when she leaned into his touch. And I never met anyone, human, Time Lord, or otherwise, that I wanted to share a marriage bond with—until I met you.

She smiled weakly, and he pressed a kiss to her trembling lips. I love you, Rose.

The words eased her mind for now, but he knew they were far from done. He didn’t say anything about how this was the fourth time this week he’d had to calm her from a nightmare. She knew as well as he did that their night terrors were unrelenting.

One of the fun things in writing Taking Time was the chance it gave me to fill in some of the Year That Never Was. Because really, I glossed over a lot of the interactions between the Master and Rose--with a full year to cover, I just couldn’t show it all. 

And until you know the kinds of things the Master said to her, Rose’s trauma doesn’t make much sense. She never thought the Doctor was dead, after all. I mean... the broken bond itself is traumatising, as the Doctor points out in the next scene, but there’s clearly something more going on. Now you know a little bit of what it was. 

From chapter 1:

The Doctor nodded and took a sip of his wine, then he cleared his throat and began. “I thought… maybe we could start by sharing what the worst part of the year was? Outside of the broken bond,” he added quickly. “Because obviously that was the worst.”

Rose nodded quickly. “Yeah. Yeah, that was…” She sucked in a quick breath. “But outside of that?”

“Yeah.”

She stared at her wine glass, simultaneously trying to remember and hoping she could forget. “I don’t think it was any one event, or constantly recurring event,” she said finally. “I think it was this… general theme, the overall sense that he’d taken control of my life and I was just a puppet. I had to live where he said, dress in the clothes he provided, eat the food he offered… I had no autonomy.”

[...]

“What was the worst part for you?” Rose asked. The Doctor tensed again, and she dropped her hand to his knee and started tracing the circular characters spelling out forever.

He let his head drop back to rest on the back of the loveseat and stared up at the ceiling. He knew exactly what the worst part of the year had been, but he didn’t know how Rose would respond when he told her.

“You can tell me, Doctor.”

Warmth stole over him at how well she knew him. He took the hand that was still writing invisible promises on his knee and brought it to his lips, kissing her fingertips before he let her go.

“The hardest thing about seeing the Master hasn’t changed in centuries,” he said finally. “The difference between who he used to be and who he’s become.” He sighed and tugged on his ear. “I’ll never be able to see the Master as just a villain, even though that’s what he’s become. We have too much history.”

He could tell Rose didn’t understand why he chose that as the most difficult part of the year, so he tried to find a parallel. “Imagine UNIT called us back to Earth because someone had started randomly killing people, with no real provocation. And when we got here, we discovered something had happened to Shareen, and she was the person they were trying to get under control.”

Rose gasped, and he felt like she finally understood what the year had been like for him.

It’s hard to understand how the Doctor’s mixed feelings regarding the Master until you really put yourself in his shoes. I love that the Doctor goes to the effort of painting this picture for Rose, because it really does add a lot to it.

From chapter 2:

The Doctor sucked in a breath. When Rose hadn’t woken up with him in the middle of the night and hadn’t said anything that morning, he’d assumed she hadn’t noticed his dream. He should have known better.

“It was only a dream,” he said quickly.

“Doctor.” Rose pursed her lips, and he knew she wasn’t going to let it go. “You dreamed that I got mad at you because we kept landing in dangerous or difficult places. In your dream, I told you that I was going to stay on Earth, and you could come pick me up when you’d learned how to drive.”

His throat ached, and he clenched his jaw against the tears that threatened. Watching Rose walk away from him had been agonising, because he hadn’t been able to argue with her. Rose deserved someone who didn’t constantly drop her into danger, and if she’d finally realised that…  

When he’d woken up, tears streaming down his face, Rose had shifted in her sleep until they were barely touching. The Doctor had wanted to wrap himself around her so she couldn’t leave him, but he’d settled for rolling onto his side and resting his hand on her shoulder. Even that touch had seemed presumptuous, but it was the only way he’d been able to slow his racing hearts.

Rose reached out and stroked his cheek before cupping his jaw. “And I need you to know that there’s never been a time when I would have wanted you to drop me off.” She sighed. “There was that week after our trip to the parallel world, when I realised that I could go on without you if I needed to, but from the moment I met you, I never wanted to be without you.”

The Doctor stared down at Rose, then he crushed her to him. He floated on light relief and didn’t bother to check the tears he felt welling up in his eyes. Thank you, he told her as he kissed her softly.

This is something the Doctor has always struggled with: the feeling that he doesn’t deserve Rose because he can’t keep her safe. It crops up now and again, but of course, after a year of physical and mental trauma, he’s going to feel it even more acutely.

From chapter 2:

The Doctor found [Rose] around the corner in an alley, crouched on the ground and pressing her hands to her eyes. As soon as she’d run out of the [art supply] store, he’d cottoned onto something, and seeing how much his obliviousness had hurt her made his stomach churn.

She needs you now, not your self-recrimination, he reminded himself sharply. Taking a deep breath, he sat down beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“You haven’t painted since we’ve been home,” he said when she was done crying. “I didn’t really realise that until now.”

Rose nodded and hiccupped. “The Master liked to ridicule me for not having any A-levels. ‘And even if you had gone on for further education, Rose Tyler, you were only planning to study English, French, and art?’” She mangled the tissue he’d given her, and little bits of torn paper landed on his leg. “So it seemed kinda silly to paint. I’ve been trying to study more too; the TARDIS has given me some books to read.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” the Doctor asked quietly.

Rose shrugged. “Didn’t seem important, really. I mean, he was right in a way. Art doesn’t matter as much as science.”

The wistfulness in her voice made his hearts ache. “Do you remember what you told Donna?” he asked her. Rose frowned up at him. “How about we don’t start any more sentences with, ‘The Master was right.’ Because even when he came close, he still got it so wrong, Rose.” The Doctor took her hand and held it up. “That gorgeous painting of Makuyu in our bedroom was done by this hand.” He tapped her temple. “The vision came from this mind.” He kissed her. “I look at that painting every day and marvel at your extraordinary talent and creativity. Don’t ever let anyone tell you art doesn’t matter.”

Rose sniffed and brushed tears away. “I’ve missed it,” she admitted. “It’s been a year and a half since I’ve done more than simple sketches, and it feels like part of me is just… shrivelling up.”

The Doctor jumped to his feet and held his hands out. “Then I think I know what we’re doing for the rest of the afternoon.”

Okay, so first of all, can we all agree that the Master was a bastard? This one scene might make me hate him more than anything else. He spent that whole year taking everything about Rose’s identity that she valued and telling her it didn’t matter or wasn’t real. 

But now, she can get her art back. That’s what this story is all about--both of them recovering what was taken from them during that year. 

From chapter 2:

The Doctor obediently shook out his coat and sat down on the sand, facing Rose. The colours she’d chosen were mostly shades of blue, and he wondered what she had in mind.

He’d never watched her work before, and the concentration on her face entranced him. After working quickly with a large brush, she bit her lip and picked up a smaller brush, eyeing the canvas as if she were trying to imagine the idea in her head had already come to life.

Finally, she dipped her brush in another colour, and he sighed in relief as happy confidence spread across her face. They were gradually putting their lives back together, and even though he knew this wouldn’t magically make everything better, it was still a major step in the right direction.  

[...]

Rose rolled her eyes, but her smile didn’t fade. Thirty minutes later, she dropped her brush into the jar of water and straightened her back. “I think it’s done.”

She was biting her lip again, so the Doctor pushed a wave of encouragement her way as he stood up and came around to stand beside her.

Then he saw her painting, and he was stunned. The dark blues she’d selected had created a nighttime landscape. A couple walked hand in hand through the darkness, from the nearly pitch black bottom left corner towards the lightest point on the canvas on the far right. She’d used one of Ekbrilon’s special phosphorescent paints to make the sky twinkle with stars.

But it was the couple that commanded his attention. A tall man with brown spiky hair walked hand-in-hand with a blonde woman. They were in mid-stride, and there seemed to be some invisible force making their progress difficult. But as they leaned on each other, the Doctor got the feeling that they would make it, as long as they were together.

“I call it Finding Our Way Home,” Rose said quietly. “Because we still are, even though we’re back in the TARDIS. Figuring out how to pick up the pieces of our old life after a year away… it’s not easy. But you give me the strength to keep trying, when it would be easier to give up and think that this is as good as it’s going to get.”

The Doctor’s throat worked, but he couldn’t get words past the lump there. Instead, he reached for Rose and pulled her close, resting his forehead against hers.

And getting her art back is doubly important for Rose, because it’s always been how she worked through things that were too big to keep bottled up. This visual representation of hope is something they can cling to in the next nine months or so as they heal.

From chapter 3:

The Doctor set down the tool he was working on, then turned towards the voice. A woman was standing on high ground, being held back from the river by two volunteers. A child cried from a tree on an island in the middle of the river, dangerously close to falling into the seething waters below. And—

The Doctor’s hearts stopped. And Rose was skidding down the embankment towards the overflowing flowing river, obviously preparing to dive into the raging water.

“Rose!” he screamed, just before she jumped.

The Doctor shoved his way through the crowd of volunteers until he reached the place Rose had jumped from. The rope she’d tied to the safety line had gone taut, and there was no sign of her—she’d been pulled under by the current.

I’m pulling you in.

Don’t you dare, she retorted immediately. There’s a kid out here, Doctor. A little girl, alone and scared.

The Doctor gritted his teeth together and waited. Rose could hold her breath easily for ten minutes. He’d give her six underwater before he pulled her to safety.

It was inevitable that the Doctor and Rose’s traumas would conflict at some point. He’s desperate to keep her safe, and she’s desperate to prove that she can handle everything. So of course, she runs headlong into a dangerous situation and gets angry with him for attempting to keep it from her, while he gets angry with her for being so reckless.

From chapter 3:

“You should get out of those wet clothes,” the Doctor said mechanically as he sent them back into the Vortex. “Being dressed in wet clothes is one of the surest ways to get hypothermia.”

Rose crossed her arms over her chest. “I think I’d rather talk about why you’re so angry with me.”

“You jumped into a flooded river!” The Doctor threw his hands up in the air and paced in front of the console. “That’s ridiculously dangerous, Rose. You don’t know what’s below the surface of strange river, and with the current of a river in flood stage, you could have been hit by all kinds of debris. Why wouldn’t you leave when I asked you to?”

“Because people were in danger!” Rose shouted back. “People were in danger, and I could help, so I did something! I don’t understand why this comes as such a surprise to you—that’s what we’ve always done.”

She took a deep breath. “Seriously, Doctor. Why are you so upset with me?” She paused, but he didn’t answer, driving her irritation higher. “The man I married wouldn’t have turned away from people in trouble, like you wanted to this afternoon. He certainly wouldn’t have yelled at me for saving a child’s life. What happened to that man?”

Shock, hurt, and anger hit her over the bond as soon as the words left her mouth, but instead of apologising right away, Rose pressed her lips together and arched an eyebrow as she looked at him.

The Doctor’s face was white, and his hands clenched and unclenched in fists at his sides. “He felt his bond mate die.”

Here it is--the scene I actually warned people was coming. This is without a doubt the worst fight they’ve ever had. Rose’s question is hugely unfair, and the Doctor’s answer shows her that in just six words.

From chapter 3:

The Doctor snagged her hand and brought her fingers to his lips. “Exactly. Rose Tyler, my bold Gryffindor.”

A jolt of pride hit him over the bond, and he knew he’d finally found a way to convince her. “Oh, Rose. I promise you, the Sorting Hat would have known exactly where to sort you.” He pulled a face. “The speed with which you race into danger terrifies this poor Ravenclaw.”

Rose scooted closer to him, and the Doctor wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I get that now,” she promised. Then she nudged him in the ribs. “But what would you complain about if I didn’t wander off, Doctor?”

He snorted, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I think I’d cope, somehow,” he said drily.

She turned and kissed his shoulder. “Also, I think you’re pretty brave yourself, love.”

The Doctor’s hand had been absently sifting through her hair, but it paused at that comment. “Not about losing you,” he admitted softly. “Never about that.” Her heartbeat was a steady thrum, and he focused on the reassuring sound of life flowing through her veins.  

Rose’s own fear bled over the bond, but after a moment, he heard her swallow hard. “Well, we’ll just have to live forever then.”

The Doctor hummed his agreement. “Sounds good to me. Forever and never apart.”

I’m skipping over the worst of the fight, but if you haven’t read the story, you should really read it so you can get that in context. 

This bit of resolution and healing is important, though. Not just because it showcases one of my favourite head canons (You cannot shake me from these Sortings.), but because of all that head canon means. This is the Doctor validating a habit of Rose’s that he’s not super fond of, and that just caused a huge fight. He talks about it in a way that makes it a positive trait, and that will do more to help her get over her feelings of inadequacy left behind by the Master. 

And Rose acknowledges the Doctor’s own fear and promises not to purposely trigger it unless it’s really necessary. She might not say that out loud, but it’s the undercurrent in her words. They’re both healing.

From chapter 4:

“What’s bothering you, Rose?” he asked quietly once he’d sat down. He wanted to reach for her, but he could tell, somehow, that she wasn’t in the mood to be held. That alone was unusual enough to be alarming.

She bit her lip, and he waited patiently for her to tell him. “Do you know what day it is?” she asked finally. “And don’t say time is irrelevant in the Vortex, or whatever. If we count our days from the day we met, then this is the fifth of July.”

The Doctor frowned; the date itself meant nothing to him, but he knew their wedding anniversary was three months away. What happened three months before our anniversary?

Unease knotted in his gut when he framed the question like that. Something had happened three months before their anniversary… something major. What was it?

He looked at Rose, sitting with her head resting on her knees. Whatever it was, she didn’t want to think about it.

The Doctor felt like the wind had been knocked out of him when he finally got it. Reeling from shock, his body sagged against the couch. His right arm shot out, looking for Rose, and as soon as he found her, he pulled her into his lap and held her tight.

In return, she wrapped her arms around him, one hand on his shoulder and the other holding his head to her breast as she ran her fingers through his hair. “Breathe, Doctor,” she murmured, and he realised the tightness in his chest was his body begging for air.

There was one more anniversary that I couldn’t just skip: the day the Master broke the bond. Because we don’t just remember the good days--the bad ones are engraved on our minds, too. And for this first one, they needed to actually acknowledge what it was and let it affect them. After this, they can plan to be busy that day or whatever, but just once, they needed to let themselves feel what had been done to them. 

From chapter 4:

They watched the memory unfold through Rose’s eyes. The Doctor wanted to cry again when she started sassing back at the Master. Such a Gryffindor, he pointed out, and the real Rose kissed him on the cheek.

He did cry when Memory Rose told her Doctor she loved him. He vividly remembered the terror of that moment, and the agony that followed.

Even the memory of the bond breaking sent an echo of pain over the bond. Rose moaned and reached for her head, and the Doctor pulled her into his lap and pressed kisses to her temple.

Shhhh, he told her, even as he fought the ache in his own head. It’s only a memory. We’re safe; we’re home.

Rose wiped the tears from her eyes. That’s not the worst part, she warned him.

He started to ask how it could possibly get any worse… then the Master turned the volume on the CCTV up, and his own anguished cries filled her memory. Oh. Oh, Rose. I’m so sorry, love, he told her, wrapping his arms more tightly around her waist.

You see why I didn’t want to be the one to remind you? she said. I watched you mourn and writhe in pain a year ago. I can’t think about those first few hours after the bond broke without remembering the way your voice cracked as you called my name.

The memory ended with a closing image of Memory Rose crying herself to sleep. The Doctor held the real Rose close as she cried on his shoulder, and once her tears ended, he shifted them so they were lying down, facing each other.

“I think I owe you an apology, love.” He brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

“What? Why?”

“Because all this time, even though I knew he made you watch, I’ve thought I had the worst experience with the bond breaking.”

“You did,” she protested. “You thought I was dead for three months. I only had maybe… fifteen seconds before I looked at the screen and realised what he’d done. You grieved, Doctor. I didn’t have to do that.”

The Doctor shook his head. “That’s what I thought, too. But I didn’t realise… Rose, you watched me grieve. You saw me in pain, and you couldn’t do anything about it.” He shuddered. “I remember how much it hurt when the Master had his goons beat you, and this must have been ten times worse.”

Time to balance things out a bit here. Because both of them, but especially Rose, have been thinking that the Doctor had a significantly worse time after the bond broke, and that’s just not true. And underselling how hard it was for her doesn’t help her heal. 

Carrying on with the same scene...

More tears slipped down Rose’s cheek and onto her pillow. “He would taunt me with how badly you were doing. I hated him so much when he took my ring, just so he could torment you with the inscription.”

The Doctor ground his teeth together. He’d almost managed to forget that artful jab. “He was a bastard,” he said succinctly. “And thankfully, he’s dead. We’ll never have to deal with him again.”

Rose sniffed and shifted closer to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. “I don’t wanna talk about him anymore,” she mumbled, the words slurring slightly as her exhaustion pushed through the emotional trauma.

“Then we won’t. Not right now, at least.” He stroked her hair and smiled when her breathing evened out. “Go to sleep, love. I’ll be right here when the nightmares come.”    

She was asleep in minutes, but the Doctor didn’t stop the rhythmic movement of his hand. Soothing Rose gave him as much comfort as it did her, and he needed it right now. Watching what the Master had put Rose through on the worst day of their life had finally broken through the last of his sentimental affection for his old friend. He pressed a kiss to Rose’s forehead and hoped fervently that the Master didn’t manage to trick death yet again.

This really bookends the story for the Doctor. Back in chapter 1, he told Rose he’d never be able to see the Master as just a villain, but now he can. And really, that full acceptance of who the Master is now is part of his healing.

Also, spoiler alert: the Master will not be coming back, in any form.

From chapter 5:

It was sunny and warm outside, with the faint fragrance of flowers lingering on the air, like it does in spring when everything is in bloom. They’d landed in an alley not far from the park at the city centre, which would be decked out for the festival. After locking the doors, the Doctor took Rose’s hand and they stepped out onto the street, lined with shops.

“Koroligans are telepathic, and this is their annual soulmates festival. Everyone who wants to be matched romantically comes to Lanima—that’s the native word for soulmate.”

He pointed to the signs in the shops, all advertising special offers for Lanima, or “Buy one, get one half off for your lanima” deals.

“When they meet the one or ones most compatible with them, their telepathy lights up their minds like a pinball machine, letting them know they’ve found the one.”  

Loud voices interrupted his explanation, and a moment later, a tall, svelte woman chased an average-looking bloke around the corner. “I don’t know why our minds connected,” she said, her voice snide. “It’s obvious that I’m way out of your league.”

Rose winced along with the man, then looked at the Doctor. “I thought you said this was a romantic holiday. And that their telepathy made sure these people were connected to the person best suited for them.” She gestured at the retreating couple. “That didn’t look very romantic to me.”

The Doctor shoved his hands into his pockets and stared at the couple. “It didn’t, did it?” he said absently. That was absolutely not what was supposed to happen during Lanima. The initial connection between matched minds was supposed to be euphoric as neurotransmitters that encouraged pair-bonding were released by all partners.  

He glanced down at Rose. Her eyes were bright and curious, and there was a frown creasing her forehead as she watched other Koroligans fight their intended partners. A swell of affection swept over him. He always loved watching Rose as she worked out the truth behind their adventures.

“I brought you here so we could enjoy the festival, but if that’s any indication, there might not be a festival to enjoy.” The Doctor bounced lightly on his toes. “What do you say, love? Are you ready to do a little investigating?”

First adventure back!! It’s been exactly a year since they left the Valiant, and they’ve stumbled across people needing their help... and they’re finally ready to give it.

And hey, if their first adventure is to help people whose telepathic bonds with their soulmates have been tampered with... *cough* that’s not at all symbolic or anything.

From chapter 5:

The Doctor didn’t realise he’d moved until he felt the texture of the brush strokes underneath his fingers. He pulled back then, not wanting to damage the painting in any way. Reaching for Rose, he twined their hands together.

“I call it ‘Where our Hearts Are,’” Rose said.

In the painting, he and Rose were stretched out on his coat, looking up at the stars. His arm was raised, pointing at a distant star. She’d clearly captured him in mid-ramble, telling her all about the system he was pointing at. The expression on her own face was half loving indulgence as she enjoyed watching him in his element, and half growing excitement as he laid out what was presumably their next destination.

To complete the picture, the TARDIS was parked on the hill above them. One of her doors was propped open, letting the bluish green light of the time rotor spill out into the night. The ship was clearly ready to go, as were the Doctor and Rose.

They’d found their way home, back to the place where travelling and exploring the universe together was what made them feel most like themselves. That was, as Rose had poetically put it, where their hearts were. And they were finally ready to tackle that life again.

The Doctor felt Rose’s hand on his shoulder, and when he looked over at her, she had her lower lip caught between her teeth. “Do you like it?”

She was asking two questions in those four words. Do you like the painting? Are we ready?

He kissed her temple. “Yeah, I like it.”

Rose smiled, but her eyes still sought his, the second question needing a more explicit answer.

He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers. “And do you know what else, Rose? Travelling with you—I love it.”

“Yeah?” she breathed as a smile stretched across her face.

“Oh yes,” he promised.

Her eyes lit up and she pushed herself up on her toes to press her lips to his. The Doctor wrapped an arm around her waist and turned to face her so he could deepen the kiss. Excitement thrummed in his veins as their future sparked around them, their twined timelines shimmering as they danced across the stars.

The Doctor and Rose in the TARDIS—next stop, everywhere.

I really love that this is where the story ends. They’ve come full circle, from being unable to handle the dangers and risks inherent in their lives, through all the trauma, and back to where they can jump into trouble once more. (Even if trouble is just the bits in between.)