#timehaspassed

Hey guys! First of all, I want to apologise for the meltdown that I had about wanting to delete my account. That was all absolute trollop that I ranted about when I was feeling down earlier today. I also want to thank all of the people who took the time to leave me lovely messages that really lifted my spirits and gave me the motivation to post. Thanks again you lot, you know who you are!

Now onto the juicy stuff. I was scrolling through my drive, minding my own business, when I stumbled across a piece of writing that I wrote for an assessment in Year 7. As @cog-writes explained in one of her recent posts, I actually wanted to ‘curl up into the fetal position’ as I read this monstrosity. I’ll quickly mention that it was that same post that made me decide to post this mistake instead and look at how much I have improved, rather than deleting it and trying to forget about it. (The post is titled Top 5 Things We Can Learn from Our Artist Friends, I highly recommend you read it, it is incredibly well-written!) 

This piece was for an assessment on detective fiction, in which I had to write part of a detective story to get a final grade when we finished looking at that topic. This was back in the days when I was obsessed with BBC Sherlock, so I essentially used identical characters with different names and wrote them into my own story. The grammar in this story is incredibly wrong, but I miraculously got a ridiculously high grade for it. I haven’t touched in since then, just so you can see how truly bad I was at writing.

I hope you enjoy it much more than I did reading it for the first time in years!

Nervously, I opened the door to slightly reassuring chatter filling up the space around me as I scanned my surroundings. Then it hit me. I had no idea who I was looking for. I decided to use the process of elimination. There were four occupied tables. The first consisted of a group of young women in short skirts and white blouses. The second was occupied by a middle aged man , a ham sandwich , a packet of Walkers Cheese and Onion crisps , and a bottle of water. The next table along, there was an elderly man seated an on the other side of the room were a young couple talking in hushed voices.

Now, which table do you think my potential boss was seated? Place your votes now ladies and gentlemen….

It was none of them.

I know , I know that was a bit unfair. But if you were paying attention , I did leave some clues for you. The first table was a no go ; one of the few things that his letter told me was that his name was Joseph. Clearly not one of those girls. Would you bring a date to a job interview? Unless you were one of the weirdos who thought I wasn’t going to open a mysterious letter I found at my doorstep that same morning , probably not. That eliminates the couple on the fourth table. The ‘elderly’ man ; clearly not fit for a job like detective work. Table three incorrect also. I eliminated the second table as well - there was nothing that made that man look like he ran a successful business like the Black’s clothing line. If you guessed that table , that one was tricky and I thoroughly understand your mistakes. D-. Don’t be bitter about it, I got it right!

But the point is none of the guests met the criteria. I was about to walk over to the gentleman with the ham sandwich and introduce myself , but then I heard the door close. I turned around to inspect the new arrival.  A man of about average height. Quite skinny , with skin the delicate shade of ‘ I never go outside ‘ pink. Messy dirty blonde hair the respectable side of too long. Dazzling blue eyes. Arched eyebrows , and cheekbones that would have put Benedict Cumberbatch to shame. Stunning. Absolutely gorgeous. What , one can admire a handsome face! He was dressed in a pair of skinny jeans , tight button up shirt , and Adidas zip up black hoodie , and Nike trainers. Expensive taste. Young. Fit. Perfect match to my criteria. I watched him study the inhabitants of the café, frown , then turned around to face me and smiled

‘ Mr Watson ‘ he said and offered his hand

‘ Mr Black ‘ I replied as I shook it.

‘ Can I get you a drink? ‘ he asked as he awkwardly smiled at the table of girls.

‘ I will admit, I have already eaten. I didn’t want to look like I was greedy’ I muttered a little self-conscious.

He smiled sympathetically and indicated to a vacant table nearby. I took a seat opposite him.

‘ I suppose I could settle for a Sprite ‘ I said as a waiter came over to serve us.

After our order had been taken, we then went on to talk about more important business.

‘How is this ‘interview’ going to work then? ‘ I enquired

‘Well I am currently working on a case, and I am very confused’ he muttered

‘ What seems to be the problem?’

‘I haven’t found any evidence I can use to convict the murderer.’

‘ What murderer? ‘ I snapped

‘Just hear me out, I could really do without any interruptions’ he muttered slightly irritated

‘ Now, I’ve been left these notes at the scenes - I’m guessing from the murderer’

He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out two crumpled pieces of paper. He handed them over for me to examine. On the back of them , they were labelled one and two - I guessed that would be chronological order. Naturally I opened number one first, it read;

A detective was in his hotel room when he heard a knock at the door. He went to answer it and there was a young man in a black suit at the door. When the detective answered the door the man apologized and said that he thought this was his room. He then left and the detective called security. Why was the detective so suspicious of the man in the suit?

‘Huh’ I murmured

‘Anything?’ Joseph enquired

‘Surely you have heard this riddle before’ I said shocked. Joseph shook his head in response

‘ I don’t suppose you could offer any insight, I have no clue as to what these notes mean’

‘It is one of my favorite riddles’ I declared ‘ The detective called security because you wouldn’t knock to come into your own hotel room. If it was sincere, the man would have walked straight in the room to be met with the detective!’

Joseph sat in silence.

‘ Out of curiosity where was this note left? ‘ I asked ‘ And what was the case that came after? ‘

‘There was a murder in a hotel room’ he explained ‘I was checking into this hotel and found this note blu-tacked onto the door. I then heard a squeal down the hall and a poor young woman had been stabbed in her room’

‘Was anyone nearby when you were investigating?’

‘ Nobody unusual. Just very concerned staff members for the most part’ he muttered ‘Why?’ he asked.

‘ I would need to see the second note to confirm it is the same person, but I believe this killer is trying to get your attention’ I continued

‘ How could you figure out that from a riddle? ‘ he countered

‘ It is not the riddle but the note itself that tells us that. When you were younger did you ever leave a note on the table for your parents when you were going out?

Joseph nodded so I took that as an indication to continue.

‘ It is meant to tell you about something. From this riddle I can already guess that the man we are looking for is or typically wears a black suit’ I concluded

Joseph stared at me in shock.

‘ I really have overlooked that. You’re definitely hired now ‘ he said surprised as he handed over the second note

I smiled, knowing that I would not have to go back to that Tesco anytime soon. I discarded that thought and focused in figuring out the second riddle. It read;

A rich man lives alone in a small cottage. Having a disability, this man had everything delivered to the cottage. The paperboy was doing his rounds on Thursday when he noticed that the door to this man's cottage was open. Through the door , he could see a dead body in a pool of dried blood. A police officer arrived to inspect the scene. On the doorstep was two bottles of milk , Monday’s paper , a catalog , flyers , and and unopened letter. The police officer suspected foul play. Who does he suspect and why?

‘ Hmm’

‘ Well..’ Joseph chided

‘ I know the riddle , but I don’t really know what it is implying’ I muttered concentrating

‘ Well let's take things one step at a time’ he suggested ‘what does the police officer think?’

‘ The police officer suspects the paperboy; He had been doing his rounds on Thursday and on the man’s doorstep was Monday's’ paper but not Tuesday or Wednesday’s. The boy must have known not to deliver it because it was him that killed him’

‘ I don’t understand quite how you do it’ Joseph wondered out-loud

‘ Mum’s favorite dinner party game’ I replied

‘That must be fun’ he said sarcastically

‘Tell me about it’ I responded dryly ‘ But I still haven’t got a clue what our murderer could mean by that second riddle. Do you think it is to throw us off?’

We were interrupted by a waiter serving us our drinks; for me a can of Sprite and Joseph ordered a Diet Coke. I quickly noticed my can looked slightly off balance, almost as if it wasn’t properly balanced on the table. I turned it over and saw another note blu-tacked to the bottom. I tugged it off and showed Joseph.

‘ Open it quickly’ he hissed ‘One thing I have observed is I always find one just before a crime’

I unfolded the note and scanned the riddle. This one read:

Two girls ate dinner together and they both ordered iced-tea. One girl drank hers very fast and finished five glasses in the time the other girl took to drink one. The girl who drank five survived, but all the drinks were poisoned. How did the girl who drank the most survive?

I heard a loud cry from the other side of the room and one of the ladies in the blouses cried , ‘SHE'S NOT BREATHING SOMEBODY HELP HER!’

Following was a loud clatter from the kitchen. I saw a flash of black and Joseph followed at speed.

‘HURRY SHE NEEDS HELP, IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR?’ the lady screamed.