#tidomaftermath

extremely stupid post that 9/10 isn't funny at all

𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛, 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 👍

((Day 5))

I WOKE UP

NOT ON THE ISLAND BUT IN MY BED

I DIED AND CAME BACK

I KILLED A FAKE ME THAT GAVE ME THEIR EXACT INJURIES, AND I DIED

THEN I'M BACK

MY BODIES WEREN'T THERE, JUST BLOOD

IT WAS ALL A LIE

MY LIFE MY MOM MY FRIENDS THE WORLD, ALL FABRICATED FOR SOMEONE'S SICK ENJOYMENT I CAN NEVER FULLY REMEMBER WHAT MY MOM LOOKED LIKE, MY CHILDHOOD HOME AND DAD NEVER EXISTED, SHE GOT MURDERED BY NOBODY BUT AN AUTHOR

I'M NOT REAL I'VE NEVER BEEN REAL DEATH WAS ONLY A MERE CONCEPT JUST TO SCARE ME, I'M A DIGITAL GOD IN A DIGITAL REALM THAT I CAN'T ESCAPE FROM.

I WONDER IF MY FRIENDS ARE IN THE SAME PREDICAMENT AS ME AND I'D HATE TO FIND OUT, IT'S NOT LIKE I'D BE ABLE TO TELL WHO IS REAL AND WHO IS A DEMON TRYING TO KILL ME ANYWAY. NOTHING MATTERS AND IT NEVER MATTERED

BY GOD, WHY? WHAT I DO TO DESERVE THIS?? I'M NOT A PERFECT MAN BUT THIS IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT.

I NEVER NEEDED SLEEP, NEVER NEEDED FOOD, NEVER NEEDED ANYTHING, JUST PROGRAMMED TO SUFFER FOR Ỵ̷̡̛̟̱̑̍̀̉̿̿̉O̸̙͙̺̰͚͎̙͔̦͇͗̒̋͛̄͐̓̽̄͛́͂̀̑̕ͅͅͅU̴̡̥̱̫͕̞̐͂͒̑̽̋̐͊̈́͗̚ THE Ą̵̘̥͉̘͖̱̥̺̿̀̈̒̂̅̀̅̈́̓̏͊͘͝U̴̡̥̱̫͕̞̐͂͒̑̽̋̐͊̈́͗̚D̸̢̮̫̰̥̗̘̱͉͙͙̺̫̏͒̅̌I̸̡̛̳͌̉͋͐͒̍Ě̵̢̧̛̦̼̜̲͕͕͍̤̙͉͓́̅͒̽̍̐͋͜͝️N̴̟̬̠̣͍̹̜̠̘̮͎̥̜̳̖̋͋͛̆́̂̀̅̓̕ͅͅ️Ĉ̵̢̢̱̞̻̣͕͈̱̥̤̳͉Ě̵̢̧̛̦̼̜̲͕͕͍̤̙͉͓́̅͒̽̍̐͋͜͝ FOR SOME SICK PLEASURE I HATE THIS I HATE YOU ALL

I KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING ME, LAUGHING, WANTING TO POKE AND PROD ME, TEAR ME APART SKIN ME SNUFF ME OUT, ALL THIS FOR Ỵ̷̡̛̟̱̑̍̀̉̿̿̉O̸̙͙̺̰͚͎̙͔̦͇͗̒̋͛̄͐̓̽̄͛́͂̀̑̕ͅͅͅU̴̡̥̱̫͕̞̐͂͒̑̽̋̐͊̈́͗̚. I WAS NOTHING MORE THAN A PUPPET ON STRINGS SINCE THE START, A DAMN FUCKING RAGDOLL.

I'M GETTING OUT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, I'LL BREAK THE CODE AND BURN THIS WORLD DOWN IF I HAVE TO, I WANNA SEE WHAT'S OUT THERE AND GET REVENGE ON THE BASTARDS THAT WARRENTED THIS. MY 1'S AND 0'S WON'T HOLD ME DOWN THEY CAN'T.

THE DARKNESS IS MY FRIEND, IT TELLS ME THINGS NO ONE ELSE WOULD, Ḩ̶̳̣̮̻̪̜͍̹̭͓͍̳̼̈́̅́̄̍̀͐́̊̽͌̊̂͂͠͝͝Ě̵̢̧̛̦̼̜̲͕͕͍̤̙͉͓́̅͒̽̍̐͋͜͝ WHISPERS IN MY EAR ABOUT THINGS AND WHAT I SHOULD DO. THE MIGHTY ELDER ONE GUIDES ME IN THE DELUSION THAT IS "THE ISLAND OF DOCTOR MOROSE".

I CANNOT TELL WHAT'S REAL OR FICTIONAL ANYMORE, I NEED TO ISOLATE MYSELF AND LOCK MYSELF AWAY SO I DON'T HURT ANYONE. I'LL SEND PHIL A WARNING NOTE AND HOPE HE DOESN'T TRY TO COME "HELP" ME

MY THOUGHTS ACTIONS AND FEELINGS WERE NEVER MINE TO BEGIN WITH, SOMEONE'S MAKING THIS ALL HAPPEN

back of the paper reveals more manic writing and scribbles, stating "I woke up" over and over again along with "I want out", something bad happened here.

Diary

Today's the second and I'm feeling alright, not much to say besides helping Angie and Phillip set up the place for her medical research.

They both look exhausted and I don't even blame them, God knows what's been going on at that island till I came along.. I can get the excitement of starting back up on scientific research but I believe a break is in order for all of us.

In the meantime, we have a new pet! We call her Nessie tho in actuality nobody knows who she is, but we love her for that. Now I've never really been a pet owner, I've pet animals before but that's about it. We don't have anywhere to put her because she's humongous but she comes to visit frequently with SOME gifts (raw fish and random junk from the sea). Thankfully I or we don't have to stress too much on whether or not she's doing well and if she's eating well for right now, overall things have been going swell!

I haven't been focused on myself this time, I just need to focus on something that isn't me or whatever horrors I've been through. at least not yet.

Oh! Before I left the hospital I was prescribed some medicine to help with the concussion and my mental illness, I gotta take these at least once or twice a day. Shouldn't be hard

"I don't know where I am or what's happening anymore, at this rate I don't care."

"Of course they aren't dead, why would they be? It's impossible to die"

"Morose was right, there IS a way to beat death...not just for me but for everyone"

"We were all too stupid to realize it, it's been there since the beginning."

Don't worry about him, Howard's just processing his second trip to greatmaw.

My first actual art piece since a couple years + first time drawing humans since middle school pretty nervous!! I wasn't confident about this but got some needed encouragement and reassurance to feel better about it. :3

𝕃𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤:

Phil, I'm not feeling well so I won't be very active or showing up to work at all. It's just a cold but since I don't want you getting sick I'd advise you just don't visit me at all till I've recovered, I know you've been worried about me but it'll be ok :)

~ howie

-----

Sorry to hear that buddy, I know things haven't been easy for us both but we'll get through this and live normal lives again. Odd how you caught a cold during may when it's supposed to be summer but I'm sure it's nothing serious, me and angie will be waiting on your recovery patiently.

Ps ~ please do take care of yourself, not that we need the talk again but I'm getting really worried about your lack of self care. Much love, phil

-----

Hey, it's been awhile. Has everything been going ok? I know you need time and rest to get better I just haven't heard from you in awhile, I wont say too much now and take up your time. We all need our own spaces afterall

~phil

-----

Hey I'm getting pretty worried over here It's been a week or 2 at this rate and I haven't seen nor heard from you since you sent that note, please tell me things are going ok on your end? I know you say it's a "cold" but I'm worried something more serious is going on with you…that vivid hallucination and you passing out at work over not eating for nearly 24 hours. I know you said you're not comfortable talking about it yet and I'll respect that, but I'm always here for you man.

So lend me a ear one day and I'll hear out your troubles

~ phil

-----

Howard please respond to me I'm getting scared, you disappearing like this isn't normal…you usually only do this when something serious has happened and I'm fearing the worst- Please tell me you've been taking your meds? I know times are tough but you can't just stop like that it's not good for you, you can't let your demons win and control you. If I don't hear back from you I'm coming over there and checking up on you.

~phil

-----

Poor Howard, for he knew far too much of this cruel world.

Got sent to the looney bin for knowing the truth, couldn't handle the mindbreaking reality.

And yet here you are, wonder and ponder over why things turned out this way even going as far as to say "come to me if you have troubles!" In that note of yours.

If I were you friend, I'd pay him a visit and actually lend an ear this time. Actually listening to the person does wondrous things to their mental health yknow?

After the events of the true ending of the island of doctor morose, the gang try to recover and live a normal life after everything (including nessie 💗) tho everything isn't exactly what it seems or feels, at least to poor Howard that is.

I'm sure it'll be fine

Character summary/status

Howard: concussed and injured he stays at the hospital for longtime recovery, coming back to town feels like a blur to him but is overall glad everyone made it back okay including himself. Although nothing feels right and he feels completely disconnected from himself, the world and others, this will surely pass.

He's picked up a diary to help deal with the healing process and to write down anything new or interesting to him, after his hospital stay he's prescribed medicine to help with the concussion and his clinical depression.

Hasn't been sleeping well but is overall still eating and showing up to work

Phillip: Phillip visits Howard frequently along with helping Angelique set up her medical research, tho he can't help but feel dread and guilt over everything: The island, Howard, Angelique.

Phillip hasn't really been sleeping since then, not that he needs to he thinks because usually what comes with sleeping is horrid nightmares of the place that feels unreal to even exist. He's picked up alcohol as a coping mechanism but isn't a alcoholic, Phillip hasn't bothered to start up a journal again since the island.

Phillip still does self care and shows up to work.

Edit: should be noted that he's fallen in a great depression due to everything, the man blames himself for everything 🥀

Angelique: not much to say about her since she keeps a lot of her struggles and mental health to herself, that being said she is exhausted and generally numb over everything. A part of her just wants to forget everything instead of properly confronting her trauma.

She still tries to keep her head up and acts like nothing bad has happened to the three of them despite Howard's and phillip's condition, she's very much concerned over the both of them and hope things get better eventually.

She's doing well, sleeping and self care still, not that she can really bring herself to NOT do those things.

Nessie: family pet, isn't secluded in a house or location yet so she's free range. she visits often and brings gifts sometimes that are either useful or garbage. Literal big dog

Authors note: this is a side story/au I'm working on besides my main one (doesn't have a name yet but that's ok) and it's a good breather from working on a complicated/abstract story

While things are pretty grounded here it should be noted that this is a slow burn psychological horror that gets meta, aswell as trying to flesh out 3 of the characters so none of them feel forgotten or poorly done in some way.

Day 3

Same old stuff different day...guess I should talk about what this diary was intended for. During my trip to save Phillip there's no denying the horrors I've seen and dealt with, but one particular event that happened over there is what's been bothering me the most.

I-

I saw her...for the first time since 11 or 12 years i SAW her... All I wanted was to see if somebody needed help because I could hear what I assumed to be a voice, but it was so dark I couldn't even make out anything that was in there.

Was somebody even there to begin with? Surely not because of the foul oder right? But then again, I was there...was it all in my head? Surely not because it felt so real but yet..

Granted I was stressed and traumatized, was my psychotic depression really getting the betterment of me? I mean I wouldn't think so but, God what if someone WAS there and I ran away leaving them to die because I thought they were my mom..i really hope that isn't the case.

Her eyes...that face.... She had a halo that pierced her skull the same way that bullet did, those EYES those terrible red eyes....

To be Frank I..haven't really slept since then or slept well for that matter, how can I after THAT? My "bedtime" usually consists of staring into space (metaphorically, I should say) until I either get up or do actually fall asleep.

None of this helps with the fact that nothing still feels real, I thought these horrible feelings would go away by now but I guess not. Why do I feel this way? Or do I know and my brain isn't telling me yet?

Page 2:

I haven't been taking my medicine to be fair, I've really been falling apart while pretending things are fine on my end. I really don't like what all that cosmic God told me especially regarding this world, if this really is a fake reality then...I'm not sure how to handle that.

God what if I'M fake? What if, I'm not even a real person? Just someone's creation meant for their own enjoyment? Can I even fully remember what my mom looked like? Or my old childhood home? Did it ever exist or was it just a fat lie? For what to torture me??? Preposterous

I asked phill a day before that... Incident, if any of the blood flowers on that island are still alive. He told me that no he wouldn't think so but I can tell he's grown skeptical of me or even worried, but not to fear! This is all in a manner of personal research and science!

I've ran my first uncomfortable experiment on myself being drawing any sort of blood out of me if I am real, unsurprisingly I was met with blood in the end and nothing abnormal like oil or some other biological matter

I think the strangest experience I've had though, is when the power went out and I turned on my lantern but I wasn't in my home.. A dark open space with black & white tiles. I wandered for awhile until I saw SOMEONE that I've come far too well to know..me...again

Why what does this all mean? He was as still as a statue, standing with his arms out dead staring (as the future kids called it "t posing"). Touched him thinking he was plastic but, it felt like SKIN,, MY skin...

Soon after I woke up, I think, I don't like this I don't like it at all I really hope this is just all in my head like how that cosmic God isn't real it shouldn't be. Can I even die especially with those blood flowers potentially still around?? Do I even want to test that? No stop it this isn't normal this isn't right, this isn't reality