#thxrned

I believe in you.

ichigobutt

yukandaexorcist

dergo-gaoth

noxarashi

betterhealing

velox-argent

hiroyukitomizawa

thxrned

katastrofaisljivovica

thelxviatan

orejasdeconejo

justiceorsomething

Renji knows that makes a solider. And it’s not just the uniform, the weapon at the hip, the scars. 

It’s the loyalty. 

Loyalty is a virtue and a vice, a cure and a poison for an ailment- the need to be accepted and acknowledged, desperation for guidance. And Renji wonders who shut Ikeda out in such a way that she looks to the Sixth Division for support. 

This place it’s cold. It’s people are cold. He himself is often prone to falling to coldness, superseded only by the Captain who’s words cut like his own blade and his love for his subordinates his subverted at best.

And Renji is loyal but that loyalty accompanies so many things- it follows after worship and admiration but also envy and resentment and hate and some feeling that Renji cannot describe but fits very well next to hatred.

Sometimes Renji just

hates the shit out of his Captain.

And then he hates his squad for adoring the one that he hates.

And Ikeda, who he does not hate, is a member of the ranks and Renji sternly hands down orders at her and pushes her as he would any subordinate of his squad and like any subordinate of his squad he mentally asks

is this what you want?

Or is this only what you want to see?

Is slightly scared.