DISSECTION:
Been going through leaps and bounds lately and yet, it feels as though at times I’m jumping through rings of fire. I’ve been struggling to push myself to be better than I used to be, but there’s always this little voice nagging me in the back of my head saying that I can’t do it.
I guess what gets to me the most is the pressure that I feel to perform well and I pull myself apart trying to prepare myself if it doesn’t happen. I don’t know when I started feeling this way, but I’ve been feeling it a lot lately.
It’s made me realize how poorly I value myself and how bad my self esteem has gotten. When was the last time I genuinely felt proud without that subtle sting of doubt? When was the last time I really took care of myself? When was the last time I really poured my heart and soul into something without fear?
