#throwsup

ive said it before im a broken record but i'm a proponent of german collective guilt manifesting extremely intensely in ludwig and that kind of leads to him kind of having a thing like a lot of interpretations of matthew do, a state where he keeps his suffering quiet and to himself to not inconvenience others. for him it's more because he wants to be a good example and a good boy and a good country. he wants to be better than his forefathers were and better than he used to be so he holds his outward image up higher than his personal wellbeing. which is not a good thing when gilbert's health gets really bad.

so i think lud is a drink yourself to sleep ponder driving your car off of a cliff and self harm at night in your bathroom type of guy. i know canon is kind of built off of the joke of ludwig being angry and yelling at people, but i really think that's more of a shallow thing, and mostly other people projecting onto him when he's just. autistic. and very german. i think he's really polite, timid, and anxious.

ludwig is such a cerebral character to me! gilbert is too, but there's layers more to ludwig that make him so strange and complicated. out of everyone taking gilbert's death badly he takes it the worst.

surprise, it's sufjan stevens again! The Only Thing sums up this vibe pretty good.