#throwsgiving

It would hardly go anywhere. And the water was never deep enough, causing a minuscule splash in comparison to what you’d imagined.

But that didn’t matter. You just threw a cinder block into a creek. You were alive.

This instinctual desire to pick things up and throw them, and the subsequent satisfaction caused after, this is the stuff of manhood. 

What kind of things are good to pick up and throw? Anything, really, though some things are better than others. Sticks are good because of their end-over-end flight pattern. Rocks are amazing because they’re generally heavy, and proving your strength while also picking something up and throwing it is one of the few double-points rounds in the Manly Stuff League – a league into which every male is born and in which he will compete, regardless of desire or even awareness.

But the very best stuff for being picked up and thrown isn’t found in nature. It’s indoors, where you can find things to pick up and throw that are not meant to be picked up and thrown – things like food, beverages and remote controls are good examples. 

In this regard, Thanksgiving – or Throwsgiving – is like the SuperBowl of the Manly Stuff League, creating more opportunities for indoor throwing in a single day than what we’re generally afforded during whole months.

Are you prepared to perform? Do you have what it takes to become the Boss of the Toss? Will you sit on the Throne of Throws? 

In other words, will you pass the rolls? No, but you're more than happy to rocket one towards their face and pray their instincts are strong.