“It’s not about hiding the red panda, it’s more keeping it safely away from people. There’s a darkness to the spirit, it can be....violently destructive”

She had been a little bit aware that a Tamagotchi might not be the most secure form of amulet-- all that plastic just barely held together-- but she hadn’t realised that maybe the battery couldn’t run out without releasing the panda too (How did it even run out of battery when there was an actual panda spirit inside it? Shouldn’t that power it? And how could she change the batteries anyway if it needed power to stay trapped? What was she supposed to do? Plug it into the television?) She was just relieved that she hadn’t been in anywhere indoors, with low roofs, when it happened. 

She tried to do what Mei-Mei did, to control her emotions, to feel things without letting them panda all over the place. But she felt too much embarrassment and worry and fear and concern and a painful awareness of her size to change anything. And then she felt the hand on one of her paws and, looking down, was surprised to find Ariel hadn’t run away. “What are you doing?”

Ming liked to think she was quite understanding of art. She always took Mei-Mei to the galleries in Toronto, and they always revisited every time there was a new exhibition. And she’d read art history books studiously when she was younger, so that she could ensure that she really understood what she was seeing on her school’s field trips. But this was....Ming craned her neck, turning this way and that, trying to understand it. This was street art, clearly, not the kind that made its way into books, and it wasn’t traditional, there was no real recognisable format. That’s obviously why she couldn’t understand it. And there was too much orange, it was everywhere, it was...

Ming craned her head the other way and gasped in horror, hands coming up to cover her mouth. Was that...was that her? From the night at the Sky Dome?

 “What is that?” She asked, pointing at the work in progress

Waking up from the ritual, Ming had felt nervous, knowing that it would be obvious to everyone that she hadn’t crossed through the mirror in time. Perhaps she should have waited to say everything she did to Mei-Mei, bound the panda’s spirit first before speaking with her daughter, but it had been so important to tell her those things, to make sure she knew how proud she was of her, how she saw her. 

She had felt the eyes on her-- her Mother she was surprised to see had only concern, but everyone else? Judgement, distaste, perhaps even fear. Her panda wasn’t exactly...non-destructive. A second later her cousins and aunts had begun with their questions and demands. What? How did you not go through? You’re gonna break something! It’s six months till the next red moon! She’s not gonna last that long. She thought her Mother was going to cut through the noise as she always did, but instead...it had been her Mei-Mei. Cutting them off, defending her. Ming didn’t realise she was holding her hand until she subconsciously squeezed it. 

Feeling overwhelmed by not only her daughter’s strength, her confidence and certainty, but also her love, that after everything that had happened, she’d still defend her and stand by her, Ming tried to keep the panda in, knowing that feeling that emotion too much would let it out. And aside from everything, she didn’t want to see her cousin Lily looking superior about it.

With a poof she felt the ears pop out on her head. “No,” She protested, even before her family pointed them out, “I can-- I can control it” For six months, she could...she’d learn to manage it. She would. She could do this. “I’ll make them go away” She assured, turning away to tug on her panda ears, trying to make them disappear. She only realised Mei had followed her when she felt the lovingly familiar hand on her arm. She sighed, stopping in her tugging for a moment, leaving the ears for now.

“After destroying your concert, and making you feel--” She paused, stopping herself, knowing it would make the panda worse, “Hearing you be so brave, standing up for me?” Ming put a hand to her heart, her eyes filled with emotion, “You are an amazing person, Mei-Mei. I’m sorry I didn’t let you embrace that sooner”

How well the temple was doing in the wake of the incident at the Sky Dome, and how many came because of Mei-Mei’s panda rather than in spite of it, was wonderful to see. Especially when she’d been so worried about anyone even glimpsing seeing her daughter that way; what they’d do to her, how they’d look at her. 

But with so many people it was harder to maintain the plants, flowers and trees that filled the garden (the cherry blossom in particular was starting to push through the wall with one of its branches). But today, things were a little quieter, at least for now, and she was taking the opportunity to finally tend to the plants. 

“Oh no,” She sighed, seeing a lily that was neglected beyond recovery. At least, until it suddenly started to revive itself right in front of her. “Oh!” She exclaimed quietly in surprise, stepping back from the sight...right into a woman behind her. 

“Argh!” She stumbled over her own feet, turning around quickly, straightening her hair as she did so, trying to regain her composure as soon as possible, “I’m sorry, I didn’t didn’t see you there, I was sure that...:” She was sure the temple had been empty, “I’m so sorry” She repeated, before smiling politely, the image of professionalism “Is there something I can help you with? Were you looking for something? Or maybe waiting for our next tour?”

“Maybe it should go here. Or maybe here. No, that’s too much. Here? No. Perhaps that’s a little too...bold” Ming continued to move things as she spoke, walking over here, then walking over there, muttering her own personal commentary. 

Zora had brought over the artwork Ming had requested, now that it was actually finished-- although it was said that artwork was never truly finished, at least not in the eyes of the artist-- and while she was glad to have it, primarily so no one else could, there was the difficult decision of where she should actually put it. The wall of the temple seemed too bold, as if she was proud of the damage. But there in the corner made it look like it was for sale. At the back looked like she was hiding it. And ugh; not behind the doors, far too cluttered. Horrible. 

“Hmm...” She mused aloud, pausing her in movements for a flash of a second. “Let me try....” She was off again. “Hold this please” She passed into Zora’s arms a box of novelty alice bands, “And this,” She added on top of that three artworks she took from the wall, before picking up her artwork and placing it on the wall where now was hung information about their family’s more mystical history. 

She stepped back, standing at Zora’s side. “What do you think? Too much? Too little? Completely wrong?”

When she’d heard about this place, this world really, she hadn’t quite believed it; the nature of her family meant she knew such things-- and places- could obviously be possible, but knowing it and seeing it for herself was completely different. Here, she doubted people would notice her panda form (in fact, she felt her human form stood out more here), and perhaps here she could learn to control it, to embrace it, without worrying about it breaking out completely. Maybe she wouldn’t have to bind it at all, maybe she could learn to work in harmony with it here.

But despite al these thoughts, Ming still held tightly onto her amulet and couldn’t quite bring herself to panda out. Her thumb rubbed along the crack in the charm, worrying along the line, thinking how even here, amongst actual animals, she would still be bigger. She’d still draw attention. 

Maybe it had been a mistake to come here; she should go, return home, and forget this entire insane idea. It had just been a stupid notion. She turned to go back the way she came, to go to the station, to leave, when she walked right into a fox. In sunglasses. 

“Ah!” She yelped in surprise, and when she saw he seemed to be wearing a police uniform her worry only increased. Her amulet warmed and small panda ears popped out of her head. “I’m sorry,” She apologised quickly, “I didn’t see you there” Was that rude to say? Was she implying he was small? “I mean I wasn’t looking where I was going” She added, patting her hair down though the ears stubbornly remained. 

Waking up from the ritual, there was a calm, a release of something that was more than being free of the panda. But that feeling of inner peace was short lived as Ming sat up and looked around her at the chaos, the destruction and damage she’d caused. And the way people were staring, including the band Mei-Mei had been so determined to see. Learning that they’d helped with the ritual, that everyone had seen everything, only made Ming want to hide away, to avoid everyone. 

But looking at her daughter, seeing her confidence, gave her the motivation to be confident herself. She made herself keep her shoulders straight, her head high, as she helped to clean up the mess she’d made. But she did dread people asking questions; Mei-Mei’s school friends might have known about her daughter’s panda, but her own? Even her own family found it shocking....and more than a little embarrassing. 

So when she noticed the the teenage girl staring, she presumed they were scared or horrified or disgusted. Possibly all of the above. “I’m sorry,” She said. Her Mother might think she didn’t need to apologise to her , but there were a lot of people that did need to hear it. “It’s not....the red panda won’t happen again, I promise. And if I broke anything of yours, if you lost something, please-- let me replace it”