To Catch a 'Porter || Nat & Bobby
Bobby had been a member of a secretive underground superhero group since he was a preteen, but there was something exhilarating about looking at government files that had been stamped classified in an unmarked black van. It was so official, like he was at the centerpiece of a spy thriller. Though his usual uniform wasn't as classy as a tux. Bobby supposed Bond wouldn't have the same charm in Speedos, but at least he could do a mean Sean Connery impression. He stopped himself short, imagining his present company wouldn't appreciate it much. Government suits were usually a serious bunch and he imagined the spooks at SHIELD weren't much different. The red head seated across from him was particularly intimidating. Her codename didn't inspire much confidence in him either. Bobby never did have much luck with women. He was fortunate enough that none of them had ever tried to kill him. He wasn't about to toy with fate by flirting with someone known as the Black Widow, even if Steve could vouch for her.
"The Vanisher also goes by Telford Porter, obviously an alias," a grey-haired SHIELD operative remarked as Bobby flipped through a folder of typed reports and surveillance stills. Bobby would recognize that ugly shaved head from anywhere. "We have a number of aliases on file, but we have no record of his real name. Professor Xavier advised that you have experience dealing with him."
"The original squad had our fair share of run-ins with Mr. Clean here," Bobby said, pointing to a blurry close-up shot. "Which isâto be clearânot one of his aliases, but he's definitely stole the guy's look. He just needs an earring and a toilet bowl cleaner." Â
"Mr. Drake, if you could refrain from antics, it would be appreciated," another operative said. "Your experience is valued, but if we need a crass attempt at humor, we'll call Stark."
"Romanov, do you have any questions for the mutant before I continue?" the first agent asked.
Bobby's eyes narrowed at the phrasing. The mutant? Bobby wondered if SHIELD called on a rabbi for expertise, would they call him 'the Jew' with the same biting emphasis? Â