#thoughts during work

A teenager sits all alone in their room, knees curled up to their chest and a cigarette hanging out the small window of their room, the smell almost nauseating. They didn’t really remember why they smoked… just that they did.

Downstairs, a Father sits in his arm chair reading a book. At least, thats what he would hope people thought, really he was deep in his own thoughts, why was his daughter acting up? The last year or so had been hard and in turn he had been hard on them because they had needed it… atleast thats what he thought, cause he was raised that way so…shouldn’t it work for his child?

With a sigh, the Father closes the book and stands up, decided it had been enough time for his daughter and he was going to talk to them again.

They were deep in thought, nothing in particular just in a trance of looking but not seeing, hearing but not listening. But, had they been, they would have heard the floor boards creek right out side their door and put the cigarette out sooner. It was to late though, by the time they did hear it, the door was half way open the the room somewhat reeked of tobacco.

The Father swelled with anger, stomped forward with long strides and smacked the cigarette long from his daughter’s hand. Furious he began to yell directly in their face. All the while they sat there taking it in, what could they do, they were small and hopless… but their own anger bubbled up, this is why she smoked, this is why they acted up and did things they knew was stupid, their father was horrible and they wanted to make sure that they were in control of their own life!

Having finally had it he grabbed his daughter by the colar of their shirt and lifted them from the window seal. Anger burning in his eyes, he had had it, it had finally come to this but if it worked for his parents it would work for him. He flung back his other hand and swung his open hand at their face as hard as he could…

And he opened his eyes.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, He closed the book and started up stairs. He could smell the tobacco from the bottom and he kept going. The door was slightly ajar and he pushed it open. The creek stired his daughter in a small fright and he kept moving forward. They threw the cigarette away and stood up, readying for anything. When he swung his arms out wide they flinched away but was to quickly overcome… By an embrace, gentle and caring. To stunned to move, they just stood there and soon the Father bean to talk.

“I may never fully understand you, and I may never come to except it. But you are my daugh- my child, and nothing will ever chance that,” The Father began, “ Every part of me wants to tell you to stop this phase, to quit acting out just to get some attention but…”

Loosing his hold the Father placed his hands on their shoulders and looked them in the eyes, tears in his eyes, “All the times we argue, every time we fought, I would see the sincerity in your eyes, I just didn’t want to accept it. But, I am not my Father and you are my child and just because I was raised one way does not mean its was right. You are special, you know who you are long before I ever could, hell I don’t even know if I know now, but you do!”

The Father stood to his full height, took a deep breath, “I love you, and I would do anything to mend our relationship, even changing our family ways that I thought were iron clad for generations. What do you say?”

The Teenager was beyond baffled, so lost for words that only light grunts came forth when they opened their mouth. Given a moment they only had one question that came to mind, “So… you aren’t mad about the cigarette in the house?”

“Yes I am, and you will be punished for that,” he said.

“okay…well…I’m not really sure..,” they began but the Father put up his hand stopping them.

“We can talk more later, I can see you are a little fussled, and to be honest… I am too.” He turned to walk away and exit the room.

“Hey dad!” They called out, “I’m- I’m sorry.”