#thmb

A/N: I started this imagine off with a request but then it turned into a different request as I started to write haha…. This is my first EVER imagine so go easy on me but I really want to improve so make sure to leave a comment below to let me know what you think!! Thank you to the person that requested this and I hope you like it<3 I totally changed it so therefore I will be doing a different one with the whole wild thoughts emphasis on things.

Requested: Kind of |please can you write an imagine based on wild thoughts where he’s in love with her but she maybe pushes Shawn away because she has wild thoughts about him idk?? you can think of the full thing! love your advice and i know i’ll love your imagines <3 thanks xx|

Warnings: Limited swearing, probably a small peck/hardly any smut

Your hands are tired as you are clearing away all your left over work from your desk, dreading the time as it gets longer and longer.  Finally after a long day at work you come home and go straight to bed not caring about what you had on, you were so drained emotionally that you didn’t care anymore. You were emotional because your love interest Shawn had finally left you alone after many months of protesting that he should do so, finally it got to a point where he had listened and left you alone and you should be happy but you weren’t! You felt empty, like a piece of your heart was somewhere else, maybe with him? All those thoughts took over you as you dozed off to a deep sleep.

*A FEW HOURS LATER*

You jumped up at the sound of loud banging noises coming from your door downstairs, this was no normal banging this was a man thirsty to get inside your house. You walked downstairs annoyed that this asshole had broken your sleep, you would rather be dreaming about Shawn and you eating an indian curry in London. As you open the door shock and happiness fills within you as there is a smile appearing on your face you stop yourself realising it was Shawn and you were the one that wanted this gap, you were the one who pushed him away and you were the one who can’t hug him right now because you aren’t supposed to be missing him.

“Hey” Shawn says with a wide and weak smile on his face , oh how you loved that smile it was in fact your weakness, it made you so weak you felt like crying but you had to maintain your ground. “What are you doing here?” Your sharp tone scarred Shawn you could tell but you were helpless, helpless to keep him and yourself in a better place away from each other. “Can I come in? I promise I’ll explain everything” He said with pure pain in his eyes, “Fine” you said with a sharp tone again. He comes into your small home closing the door behind him, god it has been awhile since you’ve seen those beautiful brown eyes, and you honestly missed them so much, the last time you saw those eyes were two months ago in London just before he went off for tour and just before you told him to never speak to you again which hurt so much but you knew it was the right thing for your health and his.

“Y/n , I’m here to talk about us” Shawn says walking towards you, “Us, Shawn there isn’t an ‘us’ and there never will be” those words left your mouth but your heart ached to tell him how you really felt , to tell him how much you’re in love with him but you couldn’t. This obviously made him a little angry “WHY? Why can’t there be an ‘us’? What’s wrong with me? Why do you fucking hate me so much?” he said grabbing you by the arms, so emotionally consumed he couldn’t keep his frustration together. “SHAWN, I have explained this all before you went on tour, on why there can’t be an ‘us’” you said equally angry as to why he can’t just leave you alone and be happy. “I don’t understand!! I will NEVER understand because I fucking love you and there’s no way I’m going anywhere” he says, “Shawn you have to leave, I have told you a million times my past will not let us be together! I can’t give love anymore, I’ve turned into someone else” you say reminding him and yourself of why you two aren’t together right now. “I’m sorry Shawn but after everything I’ve been through I don’t want to depress you as well and this time if I fall in love by mistake and something goes wrong I don’t think I will be able to make it out alive” This was the reason, in your past relationship you had gone through mental trauma and harassment but you knew Shawn would never do such things but after all he was only young and pure you didn’t want to burden your life sorrows onto him, he was way too nice for you to tell him all your past experiences and for him to hurt and you just couldn’t do that to him, you loved him too much that if things went wrong it would be dangerous for you.

“Y/n, you know I will never hurt you! I know trusting someone is so hard for you and yes your past whatever it is was a hard time but give me a chance to lift you up, give me the chance to show you how you really could be treated” the pain in his eyes were almost unbearable he was so close to your lips and so very tempting, how is he even real you thought to yourself. While silence fills the room his lips get even plumper, you shouldn’t want this you should be arguing against it and your mind was saying one thing yet your heart another, fighting with yourself was proving a challenge. Instantly his soft lips pressed onto your lips, your whole body frozen as you didn’t want it to end but something in the back of your head told you to protect him, protect him from yourself, from your toxic life. “Stop” you whispered and Shawn as always argued against and continued on you tried to push him away but your weakness was evident, finally you pushed far enough for you to escape his intoxicated grasp. “I’m not leaving, ever.” Those words that flew out of his mouth made you start bawling, crying so bad that you fell to the ground, you knew it was confession time and not even you could stop yourself from saying “I love you Shawn, I LOVE YOU OK!! I can’t stop thinking about you, the way you speak those hands of yours, the way you make feel so free when your with me, but I CANT do anything about it , WE CANT BE TOGETHER” you say… “ ‘Can’t’ isn’t in my dictionary” he says trying to lighten the mood as always in such serious matter you two could never be serious or too loved up, you guys were so crazy about mocking each other, probably a love everyone craved.

He rolled over to you wiping those tears off of your face then embracing you with his famous hug which felt like home a home that you never wanted to let go of. “Maybe, if we turn all our ‘cant’s into a ‘can’ everything could be different” Shawn says as you lean into his shoulder lying your head, both of you looking at the empty wall.