#thislovething

I think I'm beyond frustrated at myself at this moment. Frustrated at myself and you. Like I can't fathom what's going on in your head. It is all illogical to me. But you are an emotion based person and I use my head. I think the reality is that you made me feel inadequate. You made me feel like shit. I don't know why I still think of you but I do. You're on my mind so much it's scary. One moment I am okay and the next I'm pulling my hair out trying to figure out this hold you have on me. I think you brought my fears to the surface and now I can't stuff them down. But what was it about her? And to be honest...I knew you guys would meet and she would be the one. It was inevitable. I sensed it, read it in the wind. I knew you were getting with her before you knew YOU where getting with her.  I recognize you weren't meant for me. You are somebodies else. Never mine. I'm okay with that truly. But still I wonder....was all this necessary??