are you in need of some motivation???Ā .... THE ONLY EASY DAY WAS YESTERDAY
Cause Iām on day 4 of 0mg of steroids and the steroid withdrawal is making me all sorts of loopy so yeah, I AM. So Iām going to drop the first of what might be a series of motivation posts. Or it might be a standalone. Who knows, lol...Ā (ETA, look at that, there is a Part Two! now,Ā Ā Part Three!!Ā and Part FOUR!)
So, thereās a recurrent theme in cancerlandia.... all about how cancer made people better. Media loves this narrative. They love a story about a person diagnosed with terminal cancer who then discovers whatās important in life ... and has some epiphany... and theyāre all joyous and blah blah (barf, barf, insert gagging noises from me)
As I was recently saying to someone online, I was the same person after my Stage 1 diagnosis. I did what needed to be done and got on with what I had planned for the rest of my life. Then I recurred as Stage 4 and I still donāt feel any wiser (in fact, on some days, between the stress and chemo brain, I feel definitively duller). This isnāt a growth journey for me. This is just a horrible circumstance.
And I leaned hard into the coping skills I developed over decades. You know the ones... anger and depression. Very helpful, I know.Ā
But itās not for nothing that Iāve been in the hippy world of attachment parenting, extended breastfeeding and homeschooling. Self-help, meditation, yoga, fucking West Coast wooo are all adjacent to those worlds & that helped me not get too stuck in the anger & depression. Ā Thich Nhat Hanhās book Peace Is Every Step is on my bookshelf somewhere. Iāve read Pema Chodronās When Things Fall Apart twice now. (I should probably read it a third.)
But I will still defend everyoneās right to remain angry and bitter right to the end. You donāt have to ever let go of those. They can burn in a little corner and flare up whenever you want. Itās ok to keep them. & not just keep them ā I mean really keep them. Iām tending mine carefully, feeding them little tidbits regularly and letting them out to scream and whine occasionally.
Nevertheless, if youāre facing cancer or another terminal diagnosis, you better get your good coping skills lined up and yes, you better figure out quickly what is important and what isnāt. Your time is suddenly limited and after your anger and depression are carefully tended to, you need to put on your big girl panties and get on with shit.
Now, as a rule, I hate warrior and battle analogies for cancer treatment (I might write more about that one day but for now just know ā nobody loses the battle with cancer; medicine runs out of treatments and their body loses ability to self repair. Thatās it. We need to stop with the battle language because weāre not warriors. Weāre people with a disease. And anyway, itās a tie. The damned cancer dies with the patient, so there.....) BUT, one thing Iāve liked for decades is the heavily romanticized world of Navy SEALS as portrayed in romantic suspense. SEALS get stuff done. My Harlequin and Avon Books etc SEALS are yummy and romantic and theyāre my candy.Ā
So hereās one of the SEAL mottos:
The only easy day was yesterday.
Now I admit that Iāve had to sit with this one for a while. How the fuck is this helpful? I mean, some days suck so much and you think, really, that was the easy day? Tomorrow will be worse? But, hereās the thing. This is not an easy thing to go through. There will be hard days, and then there will be harder days. Know it now. Suck it up buttercup. You didnāt sign up for this, but youāre here. Try to enjoy the ride. And for me, it is helpful to know that it will be hard, harder and hardest. Just expecting that makes it easier somehow.
Get up (or donāt, if itās a bedbound day or week or month ā that is the reality, I know). Your GET UP might consist of opening your eyes. Thatās it. CHAMPION! Yesterday was the only easy day. Be ready for this day, youāre strong enough for whatever comes, whenever it comes.
Iāve decided to edit & make these posts even better with a book reccomendation because if youāre feeling down, you need some swagger and overcoming and all the good things triumphing stories. See my stash of SEAL romantic suspenses and romantic adventures? That was a quick one pass of my bookshelf...there are no doubt tons more but here you go. Letās start with Suzanne Brockmann & her Tall, Dark & Dangerous series. My editions are twofers, two books in one:Ā
First up: Prince Joe & Forever blue, repackaged as Tall, Dark & Dangerous. Recommended! Find it, buy it borrow it, read it. Let me know what you think! (Iām going to link you gals to a Kindle version which has the first 3 books...because apparently mine is OOP now)
(credit: The 7 Motivational Seal Sayings which Iām going to use in this series are from an inc.com article by Brent Gleeson)