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D*mn You!
Why do you have to resurface in my life again?Â
I was starting to really be ok, like super OK, but then you have to show up on my IG and you even liked that damn picture! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
After unfriending me on snapchat and not responding on my letter now you looked me up on IG?! WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT?! I thought were gonna be out of each other’s life? WHAT NOW?!Â
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Confessions of a retail professional…
The mirror is not your personal vanity space. Please move so others can see how the clothes look on them. Thank you.
a thought
I can’t logically understand a person’s capacity to ignore another’s fault. It physically hurts seeing something plain as day, and watch yourself act against your own self-interest. Despite repeatedly telling yourself you know better, there you are, letting your insecurities sit pilot on your brain, or is it your heart? I can’t even tell anymore. Who’s really calling the shots? This supposed, healthy self-image you have of yourself? The version you wish you to be 24/7, the picture perfect happiness pyramid scheme you swear you’re scaling? Am I really on my way? I swear sometimes it just feels like I’m going around in circles confronting different masks of the same smirking obstructions. And if my ugly side is all that controls me, am I ever going to feel okay about being on my own?
Wahh
Why do I have to be so tall and surrounded by cute nice short guys?? I just wanna wear heels and not feel awkward
I still like you
It’s 3:25 am, and I can’t go to sleep. Im tired of being in this position over and over again. I tell myself. I’m over you and then BAMM I like you again. I wish you hadn’t fucked up, neither of us would have been in this situation, unsure of our feelings for each other.
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This entire year has been absolute shit! Can't I just get at least one fucking perfect day? Nope, of course not.... No no no.... Everything is just shit. I'm so tired of waiting for good stuff happen!!' Is it ever going to get good?????
Dear Clueless Boy of The 21st Century,
         You like her, everyone knows that. Well, maybe, except for her. And that is where the problem lies. She doesn't know it. And she never will unless you tell her - or better yet, show her.
          She'll never get your messages if you never press the "send" button. She'll never believe that those chocolates/flowers/stuffed toys were for her unless her name's on it. And she'll never know how beautiful she really is when all she sees in the mirror is a girl that no one could ever like.
          No, liking her Facebook status will not make her notice anything apart from the fact that you also listen to Radiohead/The Script/AAR/<insert band name here>. No, reminding her of her insecurities will get you nowhere either. Laughing at the things she cries about will also get you a shoe - right there, front and center, in your face.
         Then again, maybe you really are sincere, maybe you really do care. Maybe, you're already trying your best. Maybe you really don't know how to do this. Maybe it's because she's so different. Maybe it's because you can't figure her out. Maybe there's absolutely no way you'd ever have a chance. Maybe she doesn't care anymore. Maybe she doesn't notice.
Or maybe, she's just as confused as you are.
       Just because you can't own up the courage to talk to her, or ask her what's wrong. Because, Clueless Boy, at the end of the day, that was what she really needed.You. And for you to show that you care.
      Oh and one more thing, she likes you, too.
This is a rant.
(This post will most likely have an overuse of swear words.)
                Everyone keeps telling me to "just go with the flow". Truth is, I've been trying to go with the fucking flow ever since and the flow just doesn't fucking work out. It stops during the shittiest moments and overflows like a whore's tears when you don't pay them enough.
               Thing is, no one can ever keep up with me. I've tried. They've tried. It's either I go too fast or I go too slow. My pace is too weird. Too me. And usually, I just end up hurting the ones I care for the most.
               And when I let myself go to the current, I lose track of everything. Tempting as that may sound, it's just not me. I don't go with the flow. I just don't. More like, I can't.
I'll just end up floating in still water. Like a fucking dead insect.
So don't fucking ask me to go with the flow. Ever.
