A Word On Projects
Well, apart from that Imrahil vs. Gothmog alliterative verse rap battle, I havenāt written fanfic in eleven weeks.
Cold turkey. After all this time, just...didnāt.
Long ACoT scene where SW and Jorgan exchange stories of their lives in a cuddly family settāNOPE
The Nameless One gauging Ignus while Annah commenāNOPE
Vaylin in jail as Empress VeileāNOPE
Quinn finding out about UmbāNOPE
WynstāNOOOPE *octopus in coconut shell*
At first I had to navigate away from the drafts file every hour or two. Now I can go days without thinking of them. And all the files are archived, I have to go to a different drive and pull them from the zip file and I can just stop doing that. it is a creative abnegation that is right for this place and time and all I can think is I shouldāve done it sooner.
I feel okay about it. I feel like one million words of SWTOR fanfiction was enough. How much more could I really warp characters who were conceived back before I knew a thing about storytelling? At some point it makes more sense to create a new character than it does to write an AAAAAAU of the old. I could grind the old crew indefinitely but the stories were getting less and less valuable. I was getting more and more self-conscious. How many novels do I really want to write for a pastime that nobody I know offline likes? And if itās so bad my family would hate it, why would I continue subjecting the Internet to it?
So, apart from the Prince of Dol Amroth and the Lieutenant of the Witch King throwing down for the bling, which was just twisted enough to capture my imagination, Iāve limited my endeavors to original pursuits. I have always longed to tell stories in a setting of my own, and SLL inspires (sometimes to the crazed pitch of my most burning stories), and that's important, but the other side of that is, I wouldn't have gotten this far with Sarahās story if I hadn't cleared my desk first.
My thoughts about my writing are all mixed up with shame and frustration and usually I just ignore that and charge. Well, maybe I should change it up a bit? I feel with all my heart that the solution cannot be to go back.
