#thirdlifekin

i... don't know what to say to you, honestly. i started this message knowing i wanted to say something, but i'm not sure what.

maybe i want to say i hate you, i don't know. part of me hates you, but the other part of me is stuck on all the "i love you"s and the way everything felt so real. i want to believe it wasn't real- it would be so much easier to just accept you didn't love me- but you kept playing along even when nobody was watching.

was it gratitude? was i reading everything wrong the whole time? why didn't you tell me it was all a bit to you? just a way to keep us both in the game longer? did you think i knew?

i know you'll likely never see this letter and its even more unlikely you'll ever respond, but god, i just wish i knew what you were thinking. if it really was just a ploy to save yourself or if you felt anything for me at all. i don't know. i think this message is more supposed to be some kind of closure than it is a way of reaching out.

either way, i'm running out of things to say and even more running out of the will to say them. i hope you're taking care of yourself, martyn.

with love,

ren (3rd life + kin)

-the red king, 3rd life, kin

Well, for the most part, it’s a massive kin mem lol. That, or you can just read it as flat out angst

Uhhh, TW for death, mentions of blood, war, self-worth issues I think, and yeaaa!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41296404

As my non canon/self insert for Pokemon Sun/Moon, I miss malasadas. Hau would always stop by my house with a whole bag of them. My personal favorites were the ones with plain sugar coating them with the most delicious chocolate-banana filling.