#thingsyoucangoogle

WARNING: DO NOT OPEN ANY OF THE LINKS IN THESE EMAILS!  This is SPAM, people!

From:  [email protected]

Original Email:

not a slut

You need to know something about the women that belong to the Lonely Wife Hook Up affairs community.

These women are not sluts.

These women are stuck in marriages that they do not want to be in.

They joined this affairs community so they can meet men like you that want to just have a sexual-affair.

They cannot get divorced just yet, but they will sleep with you.

They are not looking for a boyfriend. Just a guy that they can call up when they want to have an affair.

You really should consider meeting and sleeping with these women.

Meet these women today...

Best of all, they will let you do anything at all to them in the bedroom.

You know you are a little curious. Just check it out. Must be 18 or older

My response:

Dear, er...um...uh...not a slut,

Thank you for contacting me about your fellow non-slut community based membership forum service.  I appreciate the fact that you took the time out of your busy schedule of managing and maintaining the database of your Lonely Wife Hook Up Affairs Community organization to email me about your clients.  Just a thought, when one wants to join this community is that something that you google? Like “looking for consensual physical affairs without the need for divorcing my husband in the digital age?” or “Need man, have computer.”  How about “Beep Boop Horny”?   Nevermind, don’t answer that.  

I appreciate you letting me know that the women are only interested in a “sexual affair”, I really don’t have time to do other people’s laundry at this point in my life. I mean, you have to sort out the colors from the whites, make sure the delicates are on the proper setting, and don’t even get me started about the proper ratio of fabric softener to detergent!  I mean come on!   What am I a chemist?!  No, no I am not.   Anyways, I’m sure it is that kind of straightforward marketing strategy that got you started on the amazing non slut-oriented career path that you are on today!  Kudos to you!  While I must admit there are a great number of things about which I am curious, sadly, your service is not one of them.  I know, I know, they’ll let me do “anything at all to them in the bedroom” right?  I hope that includes ignoring them to focus on literally anything else.  

Thanks anyways!