#thingsiremember

“I’m sorry, it’s just really easy to zone you out”

It was my choice to stay or to walk away, I can honestly say it was a good decision to walk away because not everyone that you are attractive too is perfect for you, we may have had a good chemistry in bed but never relationship wise. These days or weeks I’ve been doing great but last night I dreamt of you and that dream made me realize that if I were ever to go back to you it would be the exact same thing again. You never changed and you never will and I’m sorry i can’t except you, one day you’ll meet someone who will or maybe you won’t and you will go back to her or maybe you already did and that’s okay there’s only so many people who will understand you and except you and that exactly why I kept him, why I decided to fight for him. I love him, for who he is and u wouldn’t change anything about him. A part of me wanted things to work and you know that, both of us wanted to change things about each other and love shouldn’t be like that.

I have not written about you because I started a new job and it’s okay, I still think about you in case you haven’t noticed. I just wonder what you are doing and how you are doing, I wished you would reach out to me but I know that cancers don’t do that. What will I get out of you reaching out to me, nothing all you ever wanted from me was sex and love and affection and i don’t even know if you wanted a proper relationship i mean i guess if you wanted those things you probably wanted a relationship but I couldn’t give you that because someone already had my heart and I didn’t want to give it up to no one else he had it first and he never mistreated it he gave me so many chances because of you and you would give up on me when I talked to other guys like do you know how stupid you like fighting me over small shit like my coworker bought me breakfast and not because I asked for it. Grow up honestly you are the older one you are the adult and you never once acted like it I guess you did but not when I wanted you to be civil. Do you know know how many times you have mistreated me and for some fucking reason I still wanted to be with you, I let you have me wrapped around your finger I don’t know where we would be now if I didn’t leave you.

I’m not the type of person to have regrets, but after knowing you and being with you after everything, I still think about you I’ve made that clear but I regret it all I need to and will be mad at you. How the hell do you just walk away and don’t even acknowledge that I’m still here! I’m always here and I’ll always be there too, I regret talking to you in the beginning because I looked forward to it and we both knew we couldn’t talk for too long. I regret looking for you in the crowd and then spot you and smile, and when you smiled your eyes smiled too and that was my favorite thing. I regret giving you my number I was so shy but so confident when I told you what I wanted. I regret letting you have control of me, almost like I was wrapped about your finger, like you were in mine. I regret how you made me feel in every aspect I could think of. I hate you, but I love you too and I know you understand that and you didn’t like it either but you stayed until you didn’t. So I regret it but then i don’t that’s why I call it “sometimes I regret meeting you”, because they were ”what if’s” you know what if I didn’t talk to you or gave you my number or never met you I wouldn’t know you. I would’ve bee happy with my boyfriend, I would’ve never did what I did to him, it hurt me to hurt him. He’s a good person, he loves me for me and I’m not leaving him again.

This isn’t actually day one but I’m writing it down now from now on, it’s been pretty hard but then I’m a fucking Gemini it’s just hard to the point where I miss you so much i actually want to cry but i don’t I keep it together because that’s who I am. Do you know what’s funny? I think of you at night I’m just trying to forget you, I need to and I want to, that’s why I say it’s funny because I know you would of giggled to that. I want to say I miss you because you let me know you the way no one else knew you not even her and that’s just one reason why i love you but there are lots of reasons why I hate but you knew that already.

#ThingsIremember #ThingsIcantForget #Memories #FunnyFeelin #EndedMuchTooSoon (at The love shack bebe yeah)

#ThingsIremember #ThingsIcantForget #Memories #FunnyFeelin #EndedMuchTooSoon (at The love shack bebe yeah)

#ThingsIremember #ThingsIcantForget #Memories #FunnyFeelin #EndedMuchTooSoon (at The love shack bebe yeah)