#thingsiown

There are millions of questions to ask, and there is so little time to ask them. Why are we alive and what is our purpose on this planet? I want to know everything. I am not satisfied with anything less than complete understanding. I am frustrated with my progress. 

The past two months have been truly horrible. I don’t understand why. My girlfriend broke up with me out of nowhere and really made me think about how I am living my life. The conclusion I came to is that I am wasting it all (my life.) I don’t know how to recover. I have stopped smoking so much weed all the time but there is only so much of reality that I can take. There are so many things I should be doing besides living at home and going to community college. I also no longer find pleasure in my job. FUCK. What is wrong with me. I wish I could just ramble forever and hope that my thoughts would work themselves out.

I am sitting at Starbucks before I start work. What is the purpose of… - 

Someone just passed out in the parking lot. Life is so fragile. How fitting of a situation. 

What is the foundation of hate?

What is the foundation of love? 

Are they one in the same? 

Why are we obsessed with interpersonal communications and not with the proliferation and progress of our own lives? 

How can we ignore compassion but not sexual impulses?

Why do I have a brain that can discover problems but can not deal with and solve them? 

Why do I feel such discontent in such a padded existence? 

Why do I feel ashamed in the face of nature? 

Why are people so cruel to one another? 

Why is time so easily wasted? 

Why am I so easily discarded by people I care about?

“Hey, I’m Philip, what’s your name?”

My favorite color is green.

I like bicycles. 

I love to read.

I love music and art. 

I spend a lot of my time in the woods; however I couldn’t describe it to you.

I have an aversion to reality. 

I smoke weed and drink to escape.

Where will enlightenment take me? 

Will I ever discover something that will make a difference? 

Will anyone ever miss me? 

I’m exhausted of pouring my heart and soul into people with a 6 month expiration date. I feel suffocated by my own aspirations, drowned by friendly faces. 

All I have is questions. 

No one to answer. 

I found a place.

It is simple and pure;

In full bloom from 23:00 to 4:00.

Tonight I count 5, including myself.

Mr. One and Mr. Two are sitting by The Rocks.

They are sharing one light,

To bait a line.

Mr. Three doing the same,

But by himself.

Miss Four is young.

She runs up and down the small beach.

I am sitting out on The Rocks.

Right on the border between Sea and Sky

I need to get my shit together. And I need to get some friends.