“ oh ... wow, ” a wave of insecurity hits her center ---- it felt strange , seeing herself in the mirror and not recognizing the girl staring back . her lips were bold , lashes curled for war & cheeks poppy - red . she felt like an alien , wide-eyed and bewildered , completely transformed by bela’s gentle strokes . not having a family was comforting some days - they could live forever inside that little crevice in her heart . she’d never have to mourn or disappoint them . they could be anything she wanted them to be , many things at once , even --- but they could never be there . she’d never get to hold them , or storm home flashing a report with straight a’s . she’d never miss her mom’s homecooked meals , or stumble trying to fit in her shoes . along with many other relics , she’d skipped that childhood phase of playing with stolen makeup , of watching your own face age and transform before a mirror . in some ways this experience was cathartic , and in others --- a reminder of the things she’d never have for herself . “ i look — … so different . " she bats her long , mascaraed lashes in awe , and cups bella’s palm within her own while never breaking out of this dazed state . " you don’t it’s too much? " was this what it was like to be seen? she’d never wondered before , she’d gone through life perfectly happy to be invisible . today feels different : an awakening of sorts .
