Jens sat at the table next to Robbe. Aaron and Moyo across of them talking about some hot girl that moved next to Moyo. He wasn’t really following along. His mind kept trailing off or blanking out at random moments throughout their conversation. Currently he daydreamed while he picked at the carrots on his plate.
Lies had left very late last night and he had woken to an empty bed and his father had called him to confirm the time tomorrow again. Then there was still the ongoing silence from Lucas.
It wasn’t bad day per se, it wasn’t a good one either. It was all pretty meh.
Robbe’s elbow suddenly poked his arm in an attempt for attention.
„What?“ Jens called, after the third time the pointy bone had dug into his side, a little annoyed at his best friend. Who knew well enough, that Jens didn’t felt like talking today.
„Your phone.“ Robbe only replied unbothered by the tone in Jens’s voice. And secretly Jens was relieved, he hadn’t meant to snap at Robbe.
„Oh.“ And indeed his phone’s screen had lit up from where it laid next to the tray on the table. „Thank you.“
„Anytime.“ His best friend said, but it wouldn’t be him, if he wouldn’t lean over to throw a glance at the notification. Jens had taken the phone and had tried to keep the message to himself, it just hadn’t worked.
Robbe’s reaction was ignored by Jens’s head darting up and around to search for the young boy inside the cafeteria. It wasn’t even as packed, as class times were off and some courses held online given the everchanging regulations.
So he spotted Lucas fairly quick.
Jens saw him standing next to the entrance, his gaze steady and it was hard to tell, if it would be something good or bad, as Lucas watched him rather indifferent.
„Go. And tell me later!“ Robbe decidedly commanded him, as he began to push up his best friend from the chair and Jens was inclined to sit back down, just to spite him. Instead he quickly grabbed his jacket and backpack to make his way over.
Lucas waited for him until he was just a couple steps away and then the younger boy turned around and lead them through emptied hallways. They reached the one that they usually had met up inbetween classes over the last weeks of school.
The two boys stood by the window and let their stuff fall to the floor.
Lucas looked out, while Jens’s eyes were strictly on him.
„I think, I’m done thinking.“ The younger boy declared. Suddenly his gaze on Jens, who was startled by his fear of what the conclusion would be.
His breath was short and his blood rushing through his body.
Please, Jens silently begged, let us be okay.
Without another word or warning, Lucas took Jens’s hand. The tips of his fingers fitted perfectly into his own palm, Jens thought, as he watched them holding onto each other.
„So does that mean we are not over?“ Jens asked soft-spoken while he looked back up.
„I’m afraid I’m incapable of breaking up with you Jens.“ Lucas replied, a smile tugged to his lips that made Jens’s heart jump, before he grinned himself. „Yes, you idiot, it means we are doing this.“
„Alright.“ Jens said, his grin growing brighter under the new light of the situation.
And then it faltered again.
„But?“ Jens repeated in question, the uneasy feeling in his stomach back and more present than ever. But, wasn’t good, Jens decided. Lucas tilted his head with a sigh, as he squeezed Jens’s hand.
„Let’s maybe think about how we can figure out to talk to each other better.“
„Yes, yes of course.“ Jens immediately concured as he regained his poise. Anything. Jens would have been fine with anything and this wasn’t unachievable. They could manage that. Jens was pretty convinced of it.
„Alright.“ Lucas nodded, both indulging in the familiarity of their shared space. „And if we are doing this, then I want to say something.“
„So yesterday you have talked a lot about how scared you are to steal me of all the hook-ups and relationships and opportunities I could have, if I wouldn’t be with you. You made it pretty clear, that you were afraid I would start to resent you and though I can’t see into the future I want you to believe me when I say that that isn’t going to happen, okay? But obviously you are as stubborn as one gets and thus I was thinking and.“ Lucas’s free hand fished a neatly folded piece of paper and a pen out of his pocket, that he passed onto Jens. „Here.“
Jens’s eyes darted back and forth between the paper in his hand and the worried look on the younger boy’s face.
„Sign it and give it back.“ Lucas only said, as he untangled his fingers from Jens’s The older boy confused by what was going on.
„What?“ Jens therefore provided quite dumbfounded.
He placed the pen on the window sill next to them, and then proceeded to open the folded piece of paper. It didn’t say much, anything really. But there was a date and Lucas’s name and space for his. A single sentence above: Get out of jail free.
„This is my get-out-of-Jens’s-jail card, I get to pull it if I ever should feel trapped, like you say I will be some day. Hope it will make you feel better, now that I can just throw this at you.“
Jens huffed a laugh, while he went to take the pen and put his signature down. He shook his head amused by the silly things Lucas apparently could come up with, as he handed the stuff back over towards the younger boy. Both of them smirking at each other.
„I know.“ Lucas simply proclaimed, looking rather pleased with himself.
„You are going to be a great lawyer.“ Jens said. And meant it.
„Oh about that.“ The younger boy suddenly seemed to be reminded of something. „Robbe and me have looked into universities to apply to and I’m actually thinking about applying to the one here in Antwerp.“
„What? Why? There are clearly better options for you, right? You are smart, you should go to the best one or something.“
Jens really didn’t wanted to see the younger boy’s potention to go to waste. Lucas should try to get the best education and chances out there.
„I’m not saying I won’t apply to others as well. Definitely including Leiden, but I actually like it here and I know that at least Kes will try to move to Amsterdam, so it isn’t that I’d go back to Utrecht anyway.“ Lucas explained, while his hand was back in Jens’s. „And you are here, of course.“
„I’m beginning to like your idea with the card you made. Because I’m really doubting you to make the right desicion here.“
It was dumb to stay for Jens. Not that the older boy wasn’t hoping to keep Lucas with him, also after this school year would be over. However, with Lotte, it was pretty clear that Jens wouldn’t move away anytime soon.
It also brought up a train of thoughts, that Jens wasn’t sure had seriously occured to him before. He had somewhat expected for Lucas to have to move back to Utrecht once his mom’s study ended. But that would definitely imply a long-distance relationship that Jens wouldn’t wanted to agree to.
So it would actually be nice, if Lucas would just stay. They wouldn’t have to break up.
But it also really wouldn’t be wise to accept a lesser renowned university, if Lucas could as well study in Leiden or in the Uk or somewhere else. Anywhere, where a name would open him doors in the future. And only to be with Jens, who wasn’t even sure what to do with himself after graduation.
„Jens, stop overthinking it right now. Please, just let me decide for myself, okay?“
Perhaps he had shown the conflict in his expression. Perhaps Lucas just really came to know Jens better than himself. And that was what Lucas had wanted after all. For Jens to no longer assume to know better.
„Okay.“ Jens agreed, trying to stop his mind from making a list, why that decision wasn’t a good one.
„Okay.“ Lucas said, while he leaned over to poke Jens’s nose with his. „Now. Kiss me, before we head back.“
Jens laughed, assured that he wouldn’t be able to say no, and followed the playful order that the younger boy had whispered against his lips.
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tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots
