okay yall honest to god today I was ringing a woman through and she was staring at me like really pointedly and like my ass was not made for waking up at seven something in the fucking morning so I barely knew what she was saying. But okay sheās staring at me and I finish up the order and Iām standing there likeĀ āokay have a nice dayā because sheās still staring at meĀ and this absolutely fucking novelty dick lamp opens her withered mouth and says:
āPlease and thank-youā
And Iām like. Confused because I didnāt hear a request. So Iām trying to get her to repeat what she wanted, when again her face hole swings agape and she says:
āPlease and thank-you, honey. Itās just nice to hear.ā
And extends her rotted claw forward and pats the back of my hand (yall heard myĀ ādonāt fucking touch me strangersā rule because this fucking gag gift christmas cock cosy didnāt???). And it hits me, all at once, that this bizarre fucking Meredith-Who-Lectures-The-Priest-At-Mass............................ had wanted me to say please and thank-you to her????
And I was confused because like I was pretty tired but not tired enough to forget that I am the cashier providing her a service, and she is the stupid metal ballsack hillbillies put on the tow rigs of their trucks. Unless we slipped into a fucking alternate universe where either:
a) we switched spots quickly enough that I didnāt notice myself buying prune juice and a copy ofĀ āThose Darn Whippersnappersā Weekly from a humanĀ āstick up ANOTHER PERSONāS assā OR
b) people for some reason fucking expect the person DOING THEM a goddamn favour by scanning their stupid shitty points card and ringing through their shitty goddamn merchandise that they wonāt buy a bag for becauseĀ āI donāt think itās your right to charge the customer for the plastic bagsā like I goddamn planned this from my birth when she was roughly 600 years old and living large in Christās fucking manor.... to THANK them.
tl;dr if you fucking ask your cashier to say please and thank you, to YOU, the BENEFICIARY of the transaction, fuck off.
