#therepists

You can’t just ask me to talk. To tell you what I feel, my demons, what invades my mind when you don’t know. Because you don’t know. You can’t know. You physically have no idea what I go through on a daily basis. What I think. What thoughts attack me. What it is like to be me. Don’t try to explain to me why I did something. I KNOW why. I don’t need your help to figure that out. Don’t give me an “alternative option” either, because don’t you think I’ve TRIED?! I’m not just this “lost” little kid. That’s what you say about us, right? “Oh, she’s just lost.” “He just hasn’t found his way yet.” “They just need guidance.” It’s not like I CHOOSE to be like this! I wasn’t given an option! Do you not think I used to be normal?! I’m not fucking mad! I’m not just some mental case! I’m human. I am just like you. The difference, though, between you and me is that you found working “alternatives”. I didn’t. There’s our difference. Unless you have lived my life exactly, day by day, don’t tell me you’ve been through the “exact same thing”. Sure you might’ve been through some. But people don’t end up like me from “some” bad things. It is an accumulation over time. This is our situation: I’m the guy that was thrown into a pit with nothing and told to survive. That guy had to eat his arm before he could be saved. You’re the guy who was thrown in a pit with a sturdy rope and also told to survive. Sure it was hard for your guy, and maybe you slipped a few times, but he got out. Now your guy looks at my guy and tries to tell my guy that he shouldn’t have donethat. Your guy thinks he never would’ve done what mine did. Problem is, my guy was only surviving however he could. And don’t tell him he “gave up” because he tried and tried to get out. He didn’t WANT to eat his arm! He did it because he had no other option. If he had a rope, hell no he wouldn’t have done it. It wasn’t for “attention” either. Do you think he wanted people to forever point and stare and whisper? NO! HE DIDNT! So don’t TELL me anything because you WEREN’T in my situation! I did what I had to do to survive! I did what I had to to survive! Wheather or not you aggree doesn’t concern me because I survived!