Average fandom-ized "mythology" enjoyer talking about Greek myths like:
"Every woman is a woke girl boss (except Athena because she's a pick me who supports the patriarchy and keeps other women down! Unless we're hip to the super extra Real version where Actually she made Medusa into a gorgon as Protection!!) who's also a poor and helpless victim who never had any power or autonomy and probably also got sexually assaulted (for some reason). Because the more girl boss someone is the more they sit around complaining and doing nothing and just letting bad things happen to them. And are also unable to have normal, consensual sex, so anytime they sleep with someone it has to have been rape or manipulation. (Except maybe if its in a mildly popular f/f ship!) Circe was just a done-wrong feminist who spent her time picking herbs in a utopian commune or something!!
Every man is an evil problematic unforgivable demon abuser and representation of the patriarchy. Yes, even Perseus, who was just a kid trying to help his mom, because Medusa was actually a *Victim* bc Ovid said so and he should have known better but actually he was The Real Monster™️ and also Cadmus who did fuck all and minded his business bc he was probably homophobic or something??(for some reason). Zeus is the most evil of all ofc and everything bad that happens in the myths is his fault bc he's a Misogynist and Abuser™️! Nobody ever slept with him because they wanted to, it was always assault! (Special mode: there's 50% chance Ares is actually a misunderstood feminist golden retriever mama's boy who is super into gay rights and taking trips to the park with his kids, but only if it can somehow mean interpreting Zeus as even worse!)
The only exception is the minotaur! Who should never be called that bc his real name was Asterius and the minotaur was a demeaning insulting title given to him by his Abuser!! He was never actually a monster, that was Minos' fault, and the labyrinth represents the inescapable cycle of abuse! Everyone else in the family loved him except for evil Patriarchy Demon dad! Except maybe Pasiphae but that's because she was Traumatized from being a victim of sexual assault (Zeus is a rapist!) But Asterius is actually a little innocent baby who never did anything wrong and actually represents the dehumanizing effects of racism/abilism/transphobia/etc! Also Theseus was The Real Monster™️ and manipulated Ariadne! (Unless I decide that he and the minotaur were In Love, and then he's a great guy actually.)
And also the gods were all useless and evil and never did anything helpful at all ever and were all abusive parents and rapists and Worst of All got into relationships with Problematic Age Gaps and everyone in ancient Greece hated and feared them and nobody actually revered or worshipped them except when Patriarchy/Capitalism (??) forced them too! Most people just resented them but were helpless to do anything but the Heroes were tough enough to say 'fuck the gods' and the gods couldn't stop them bc they were just too Badass!
I know this is true because some Percy Jackson/God of War fans on social media told me so and anybody who says otherwise needs to Read a Book [worst ya- tized massacre of mythological story you've ever heard of]!!"
