#thepracticeofliving

I am officially twenty-one, YAY? Wrong. I like to think of myself as young, naive, high school graduate, excited to start my University adventures. 

In all reality I am in my third year of college struggling to maintain my grasp on sanity and my passions. 

I am starting The Practice of Living to learn to love my life, because in the end we live the life we lead. 

I am so excited to record my adventures. This is my little corner of the universe.

My first job was stocking shelves at our friendly neighborhood Kroger.(always sounded like Spider-man to me) but that is the slogan. I would walk up and down the aisles straightening products and organizing displays until my feet were exhausted one that concrete floor. but the I would get to aisle 9. On this aisle was where all the baby food was. Now if you have a baby r remember back when you had a baby then you would know that the baby food is always a disaster....CLEAN UP YOUR SPILLS... Sorry, my job would be to pull them all to the from and make it look like a wall, completely straight and neat. I would work on this for an hour because the mess was so bad but finally I would finish and it would look so good, and the pride I felt was so overwhelming I would go and get people and show them my wall of baby food. One day i was there cleaning and praying like I always did stocking the shelves

But see the shelves although they looked nice and clean on the outside, and it looked full and complete was empty on the inside. Kroger was too cheap to ever get me enough to fill the shelves so instead my job was to make it "look" full. I realized that I had gotten really good at doing that in my own life, showing the best face in the crowd, but on the inside being empty. Now I knew the Lord and had been a minister for several years but this reminder showed me all the things we hide from the world, he knows. he knows our little secret that there are empty and dark places in our hearts. He knows that there are skeletons in the closet and he wants to clean it out but to get in there the way of perfection, the mask, the poser, must be broken before our eyes and allow him to work. that is scary. I want to be able to live a life full of joy not fear of my secrets coming out, therefore, there must be no secrets, let God come in and clean out whatever is there

Matthew 23:25-26 (ESV)

So today I was thinking back to my childhood, thinking back to the way I learned worship in the house of God. I was young 4 or maybe 5 and my grandmother had her hands full. me and my brother would not be allowed to bring coloring books like the others. we were not allowed to bring Hot Wheels or even a Power Ranger. We would be in suit and tie every week and when worship would begin our little bodies were dragged to our feet and there we stood with an ultimatum: clap or get spanked

This may seem harsh but she was instilling an idea in our minds, God demands reverence. That set me up for failure, because as I grew up I became good at "RESPECTING" God. I never questioned him and I expected him to give me that same courtesy. It left me detached, and I felt all alone to face to world. never really feeling connected (because I wasn't)

Now saying that I learned from her the value of public worship, the value of publicly acknowledging God and participation. What I didn't learn from this exercise was the Value of Relationship. God was rules, and God was going to be mad if I broke them (which to an extent is all true). He though is not a tyrant, and worship forced out is not worship at all.

John 4:24 (ESV)

24God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth

I remember when I just received Christ in my life and all I could think about was removing everything out of my life, It was hysterical now that I think about it. I had a lot of things to clean out lets not bluff there, but I wanted to be PERFECT! I didn't understand the concept of living holy. I stopped having fun, and believe me I wasn't any fun either. I thank God for those times, I do, I studied my Bible hours on end and learned so much, but I wasn't living. No one liked me, I went from being the kid on the outside looking into Christianity, to be the kid that was way to serious about God. I became brash, judgmental, I was already stubborn to boot. I took myself way to seriously and didn't understand why no one else did! I'm not exactly sure when it happened, or where particularly, but God began a work in me to change me and show me life.

John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.(KJV)

Jesus didn't come to put up a wall of separation between himself and the world but to remove one. He didn't come to steal away happiness, he came to fulfill the empty places in our lives. There is a way to be in the world and not of it, to be holy (separate, different, set apart) and not critical. That way is Love. God has given us in Jesus a compassion to be a light to the darkness. to show the way and not become a stumbling block, to join people to him not cast them away.

It is time to enjoy life, love, have fun, be holy, chase after Him,

The pursuit of Happiness is the Pursuit of God