#thengone

❝  that’s  the  cheesiest  pick  up  line  i’ve  ever  heard.  ❞

                @thengone​ said: Send a  유 and I’ll generate a number between 1-270 /  tvd/to edition / accepting

dear diary,

     tonight's the night— eclipsed shadows is going live! i've been literally crossing off days on my calendar since landing the role, and now it's real! it's happening! it feels like everything i've poured my heart and soul into is finally happening. i mean, can you believe it?

her dreams are weathered but unwavering, despite the relentless storm that seeks to erode them. shelby's a figure carved from the very essence of resilience, but she can't shake the feeling of defeat. it's lodged itself within the marrow of her bones as an unwelcome tenant. every aspiration she had constructed, piece by painstaking piece, had crumbled, leaving her exposed to the wolves of failure that eagerly devoured her spirit, leaving her to flounder in the aftermath of their feast. the warmth of tears threatens to breach the corners of her eyes as she exhales a deep breath, one that's been imprisoned far too long within the confines of her chest, offering no solace. no release from the weight of her despair. “i don't know what to do anymore.” the words escape her, a whisper torn from the depths of vulnerability— a raw admission in the stillness that surrounds her. (the first rule of the shelby rivers playbook to life? you keep your nerve.) the creed she had always lived by seems to be slipped through her fingers like grains of sand. her hands travel down her face in a gesture of exhaustion as her eyelids close themselves. “nobody, and i mean literally nobody, is giving me the time of day. i've become the industry's punchline.” shelby's voice is tinged with the bitterness of realization, mirroring the sentiment of countless tiktoks that parade her misfortune each morning. a cruel reminder of her plummeting esteem in the eyes of those whose approval she once sought. still seeks. it's a realization so dire that she entertains the thought of oblivion as a sweeter alternative to this purgatory of ridicule.

this is such a great question and thank you so much for asking!!!!

to begin, i think it's important to add some context of where shelby grew up. shelby grew up in a very small town in montana— ekalaka whose population is only 404 people. there weren't many plays that the local community theatre could get the rights for. they would usually lose out in the bidding wars with other theatres, so in terms of her getting those chances for dream roles as a kid/teenager— that never really happened. the only role that she would consider to have been a "dream role" was playing evan hansen in "dear evan hansen". even though that role is traditionally cast with male actors, the showrunner couldn't find a leading male actor who could offer any sort of depth for the role. shelby could.

that all being said, on broadway, shelby has many dream roles. she's also aware, realistically, she probably won't get a chance to play them. some of them are for different ethnicity reasons, culture reasons, etcetera. however, she does love these roles and in her head, believes she could portray them with the amount of depth that they deserve.

elphaba in wicked. requiring a strong vocal range and the ability to convey emotional complexity, this role appeals to shelby's sense of challenge and her desire to portray nuanced characters. christine daaé in the phantom of the opera. the role of christine offers a blend of innocence and strength, coupled with the opportunity to showcase her vocal range once again. for someone like shelby, aiming for a blend of dramatic performance and her vocal prowess, christine would be ideal. definitely a dream role. maria in west side story. shelby loves a good tragic love story, especially one requiring strong acting skills and (again) a captivating vocal performance. kim in miss saigon. another heartbreaking story of love and loss, requiring a powerful emotional and vocal performance. this definitely appeals to shelby's interest in dramatic, emotionally driven performances.

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