#theirishpepper

“As if,” he scoffed, grin still in place. “With Petunia and Vernon home, there was no way you were going to take the train out—especially not in this weather.”

Lily couldn’t argue there. The large glass windows of the shop displayed all-too-well the raging snowstorm that had started several days prior and still had yet to let up. The snow had climbed halfway up each window frame, leaving little room to see even the gray sky above.

“Well,” she sniffed, tucking her ballpoint pen back behind her ear. “I had Sirius convinced anyway." 

James lifted his eyebrows amusedly. “That’s your big victory? You convinced Sirius? I still have Sirius convinced that Father Christmas left him Snuffles the puppy when we were ten.”

He had a point. Nevertheless, Lily flipped her steno pad closed and made to turn away. 

“If you’ll excuse me, then.”

“Hey!” he said suddenly, grin sliding off his face as he grabbed her small wrist in his massive fingers. “I need to talk to you.”

“And I need to serve my customers.” Lily used her free arm to gesture to her section, which--despite the holiday--was quite full.

“Am I not part of your section?" 

She sighed and relented, looking down at him. “The usual?” she asked.

Something glinted in the hazel of his eyes. “Yeah,” he said hesitantly. “The usual." 

“Okay,” she said, before stalking away.

*** 

“Espresso with milk, hold the sugar—and one apple cider on the house.”

James looked up and raised a dark eyebrow. “Wow, two drinks. Whatever did I do to earn such an honor?” 

“You wish.” Lily rolled her eyes and slid quickly into the booth across from him. “I’m taking my break.”

“Ah, brill,” said James, reaching for the espresso. “So, how’s things? Busy day, I see. Looks like you lot are a bit short-staffed with the—” 

“James,” she intoned, loosening the tie on her apron.

“All right, all right,” he said. “I didn’t want to jump right in, but it looks like you don’t much feel like small talk.”

She gazed at him expectantly. 

James looked back at her, biting his lip, then down at the mug in his overly large hands. There was a long beat as he tried to find the words on his mind. Finally, he settled for something simple. 

“You didn’t come.”

And just like that, Lily felt her heart sink.

“To the party?”

“Yeah.”

“At your parents’?”

“That’s the one.”

“Oh,” she said. She pulled at the dilapidated plait in her hair, the steam from her cider rising on the old mahogany table between them. “I didn’t think you were…serious.” 

That set him back. His eyebrows furrowed at the center of his silver frames. “Sorry?” he asked, a conflicted look settling over his face.

Lily took a breath and raised her chin. She felt this was a strange conversation to be having today, with the jukebox playing “Deck the Halls” on repeat and the scent of peppermint mocha in the air. 

“I thought…you were just extending the invite,” she said, then cleared her throat quietly. “Y’know, as a courtesy.” 

The fact was, she hadn’t known what to say when James had first brought up the soirée. He didn’t understand the enormity of the event. Christmas Brunch at the Potters was the London social occasion of the season. It was so much more than a party. It was where all the wealthiest and brightest of the British social elite gathered to drink, dance, make rounds, and be merry.

And all Lily knew how to do was the first.

So when James mentioned it to herself and Remus a few weeks back as they strung popcorn for the tree of the boys’ flat, Lily didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t something she would be attending. Hell, she didn’t even own a dress fancy enough for her sister’s wedding. Why would she even think about going to the Potters’ Christmas party?

But it was apparent to her now that James had expected her to be there. And she really didn’t know why.

“I’m sure it was a lovely brunch,” said Lily after a beat, cautiously watching James for any hint of a reaction.

“Of course it was,” said James. “Save for the fact that you weren’t there.”

Well that was blunt. At least he wasn’t—

“Why the hell didn’t you come, Lily? Did I say something wrong? Did I make you angry again? I swear I told you about the—”

Ah, there it was. 

“James,” she repeated, laying her palms flat on the table. “I didn’t know! I didn’t know you wanted me there.”

Now he looked at her like she was crazy. “Of course I did!” he exploded. His espresso mug rattled on the table with the force of his hand motions. 

“Well, how was I supposed to know that?” And there it was. The anger. The impassioned fury that was Lily Evans. “You mentioned it the same way that you mention that Manchester United lost a match or Peter got a promotion at the bank! I didn’t think it was important.”

“Not important? Not important to—Lily! Of course it was important. Don’t you get it? You’re important.”

Lily sucked in a breath and sat up straight. What was he--?

“I wanted you there today. I wanted you to meet my parents and spend the holiday with us. I wanted to show you the house where I grew up and introduce you to all my insane relatives. I wanted to drag you out on the dance floor and show you that Christmas can be better with me than back in Cokeworth. And then, like the stupid bloke I am, I wanted to give you this.” He tossed a small blue box across the table at her. It skidded on the wood’s edge and landed in her lap.

She opened her mouth to give him some excuse, anything that would make him stop what he was saying before her heart sank any further.

But nothing came out. So she looked at the box instead. She pulled on the small green ribbon that was perfectly tied and carefully slid the lid’s top from place. Inside, on a small plush cushion, sat a bronze key.

“Then I find out from Marlene that of course you’re not there. But you’re not back in Cokeworth, either. No, you’re Lily Evans. You’re here. Because where else would you be?” 

She pulled the key from its nest and held up to the light. Then she interrupted. 

“Is—is this what I think it is?” she asked, voice shaking.

James stopped ranting for a moment, roughly pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his crooked nose. 

“Probably,” he mumbled, suddenly looking quite embarrassed. He had obviously not expected her to open the gift after all. “Just didn’t seem right…you not having one…considering you come and go all the time.”

She set the piece of metal on the table slowly and met his gaze. She had to ask. “Why?”

He ran a hand through his disheveled hair and let out a rush of breath. “Evans.” The name rolled off his tongue easily, a reminder of their days at uni, when he’d rush through the courtyard just to walk her to her next class. “You’ve got to know. You have to know that I’m mad about you.”

Lily just stared at him. Her heart thumped in her chest. She couldn’t move. He had never spoken so blatantly about their…relationship before.

“You are?” she blinked. The question was genuine, no hint of sarcasm or anger. Just a question.

“Yeah,” he said, watching her face. “I am.” 

“Well, then,” she said, smiling up at the strange, wonderful man in front of her. “Good. ‘cause I think I’m mad about you, too.”

"Yes, I am!" Lily visibly lied, but the words still hit James like a venomous bite.

"Liar," James said quietly under his breath.

The room was now silent, just the sound of their heavy breathing filling the emptiness of the room.

"Leave," Lily finally said. "I need— I need time alone."

"No, why won't you tell me what's wrong?" James said earnestly; the look of anger was washed away with complete concern.

"Nothing is wrong!" She was lying again.

"Lily…" His eyes bore into hers.

She looked away from his, not able to look at him.

"Why won't you just tell me?" He prodded her along, taking a step towards her.

Lily looked back up at him with pursed lips.

"Fine—"

"Finally!"

"— shut it! You wanna know why I'm distancing myself? All my life people have shut me out, people I've gotten closed to! People I've loved, and still do love! My life has been a series of doors in my face. First with Tuney, then with Sev, and now my parents are gone… I can't do it anymore, okay? I'm done. Now: will you please leave? I need some space—"

"Lily, I would never—"

"That's what they all say," She spat at him.

She grabbed his wrist, and pulled him towards the door, and with a bit of a fight James let her. She slammed the door in his face, and then proceeded to lean against it with tears pooled in her eyes.

James didn't move away from the door, he stood there with a frown as he heard her mostly silent sobs.

"Lily…" He said just loud enough for her to hear through the door.

"Go away!" She cried out.

James went silent for a moment, pondering his thoughts.

"I know you've gone through a lot, I can't even imagine what you've been through. I won't even pretend to know, but I do know one thing: love is an open door."

Lily's breath got stuck in her throat, and her heart skipped a beat. He loved her? No, no, impossible, she thought to herself.

"Please let me in," he pleaded softly.

She sniffed a bit before slowly opening the door to look at him. Her eyes were red, and her face was wet from her tears. They didn't say a word, they just stared at each other for a long moment. James then opened the door more and took a step towards her, wrapping his arms around her. James kissed her tears away, before planting a long, loving kiss on her lips.

"I love you," James murmured against her lips.

"I opened the door for you," She murmured back, and he just grinned.