#theincurableoptimist

3 years ago today my documentary The Incurable Optimist was released… except it was never really just mine. It was mine, and it was Mei and Gwen’s, the people who filmed and directed and produced everything, and who poured their heart and soul into telling my story. And it was my people’s story; my family, friends, nurses and carers, the people woven into the every day fabric of my life (including my ex boyfriend). 3 year later, 2 BAFTA nominations, 1 unexpected BAFTA win, a break up, several surgeries and big health crises, a global pandemic, huge life changes we’d never see coming, including me moving home with mum and dad, and a Tiktok account with over 33,000 followers later, and I’m still beyond grateful for Mei and Gwen helping me share my story with the world. All I’ve ever wanted to do by raising awareness about what life as a palliative care young adult is like is help one person; I am trying to be the person a younger me so badly needed to see. Someone who battles serious health problems, but who is living a happy and fulfilling life. And from the thousands of messages I’ve received, I think we achieved that! My documentary also led to me having the confidence to create my tiktok account and share my story and experiences on a day to day basis, something I’ve found brings me genuine joy. I knew Mei and Gwen were the right people all along, but I knew for sure when we had a discussion about how I didn’t want to be “inspiration porn” and Gwen told me “we don’t think you’re inspiring because you’re ill, we think you’re inspiring because of who you are”. That’s what stories about disabled people should be. Thank you to everyone who was a part of this adventure, but especially to my partners in crime who started it all. I miss our early morning Costas and lovingly bullying Mei! #3yearslater #theincurableoptimist #sharingmystory #grateful #thatpalliativecarelife #palliativecarewarrior #hospice https://www.instagram.com/p/CaXA5bRNjb4/?utm_medium=tumblr

It didn’t go as planned, and thank god for that. #thatpalliativecarelife #hospice #theincurableoptimist #itdidntgoasplanned https://www.instagram.com/p/CSeJzzcHm0a/?utm_medium=tumblr

I got a new t shirt our wonderful carer found for me 🥰💖 It says Positivity; the practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude 💛 #theincurableoptimist https://www.instagram.com/p/CM23RmFBO90/?igshid=132kuiq3by9gh

Stepping into 2021 with hope and optimism; it’s got me this far ☀️🌈❤️ #steppinginto2021likeaboss #choosinghope #theincurableoptimist https://www.instagram.com/p/CJfA0gWjr99/?igshid=1mmuxhiuzl00

We watched an old favourite film yesterday, Pollyanna. In our house, we live by something my dad calls The Pollyanna Theory; there is always something to be glad about in every situation. I kept thinking about something a friend and fellow palliative warrior said to me; that giving up and being negative and bitter is the easy option... optimism is hard. We have to choose every day to look at our broken bodies, the broken world, and see the good. But as Pollyanna points out, when you look for the good in people, you’re sure to see it. My optimism doesn’t just happen automatically. I fight for it, every day. Some days, it’s almost impossible to find. But I get up the next day, and I try again... and again, and again. And I keep finding things to be glad about. Optimism is not weakness or naivety. It’s bravery and strength. Respect the people who see the good in everything, cause honestly? We’re kinda badass 😎 #theincurableoptimist #choosingoptimism #thepollyannatheory https://www.instagram.com/p/CE_oLgZjIvj/?igshid=vxxrn45z8566

Forever the incurable optimist 💪🏻💛 #theincurableoptimist https://www.instagram.com/p/CDmtro6jyfb/?igshid=nj9kuyll7oga

So as y’all know I’ve been working with the BBC to create a documentary about life in isolation during Covid-19; I’ve been filming it on my phone (and my mum’s 😂 thanks mum!) and emailing it all to a lovely man called Phil (who has had a few shout outs in my videos and been very chuffed) for a fantastic team to edit and put together. The doc is not just about me and my family, but we’re in every episode, and I’ve been told we feature most heavily in episode one! My contact Karen has said our footage is amazing 🥰 which was so fab to hear, as I wasn’t confident in my talents (intact, the day she rang to say what a great job I’m doing I thought I was gonna her sacked 😂). Tonight at 7.30 and 8pm the first trailer will be shown on BBC One Wales, and the first episode of the actual program, Wales In Lockdown, will be shown on April 13th at 7.30pm. The Documatary will be released weekly for as long as this lasts, and I will be driving my family mad filming the whole time 😂! I will say that I have an even deeper appreciation of the Editor and Producer of my Documatary, The Incurable Optimist, Mei and Gwen, for all their hard work... I now understand the “...let’s just do that one more time” 😂! Also, everyone here at isolation station wants you back Mei 😂! Anyways, hope you can tune in! #workingwiththebbc #makingadocumentary #lifeinisolation #walesinlockdown #theincurableoptimist https://www.instagram.com/p/B-pestpjQzg/?igshid=s56zvyc7h3kb

Today’s t shirt was made for me. I’m still trying to be my incurably optimistic self despite all the awful stuff going on in the world 🌍 I believe in a positive outcome for our future 🌻☀️💛 #theincurableoptimist #tryingtofindthebrightside🌞 https://www.instagram.com/p/B9z5foDh7Ve/?igshid=1cf3xqs0wznb7