#thehuntersofartemis

I know it’s past Christmas and most holidays but I’m not about to sleep on some Zartemis wintery/holiday headcanons:

The hunters always find ways to have snowball fights. Zoë absolutely refuses to get involved in such childish things.

Until Artemis shoves snow down the back of her shirt and all hell breaks loose.

They all join together to build the biggest snowman possible. Then the snowman is used as target practice and they decorate him with arrows so he has a whole scarf design and face.

Artemis is impossibly pale in winter which only makes her more god like in appearance and Zoë is deceased because she’s so pretty!

Ice skating is always a fun time when the newer hunters from warmer climates get on ice for the first time. It’s like Artemis and Zoë have to herd a bunch of newly walking toddlers.

Although both Artemis and Zoë can handle the colder weather it doesn’t stop the Lieutenant from sneaking into Artemis’ tent and snuggling up with her. Nothing’s more comfy than a warm body to hold in cold weather.

Artemis is always the earliest riser during winter, as more needs to be taken care of like setting up a fire. This sometimes results in surprise hugs from Zoë who always wakes second. Whether Artemis is clearing snow off of left out pans or knocking ice off of equipment Zoë will suddenly be there hugging her.

When it’s really windy they all put up their parka hoods and Zoë looks adorable with flushed cheeks from the wind and her face half hidden in fur.

During Christmas though it’s a Christian holiday, Artemis always goes out of her way to get every hunter a small gift. It makes Zoë laugh because the mortals invented Santa after someone caught sight of Artemis’ chariot and the deer that pulled it.

The hunters jokingly insisted the song lyrics “I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause.” Are about someone catching Zoë kissing Artemis.

That ^ always makes Zoë mad because “I would never.”

Sometimes Artemis’ nose gets really red and it is an entirely adorable thing that makes Zoë have an irresistible urge to boop her on the nose.

Many cuddles occur during winter and when it’s below freezing by a good amount the two ditch their clothes and get as close as possible beneath a pile of fur to keep from shivering.

While it’s cute and intimate it makes getting up in the morning nearly impossible because they both just want to stay in bed all day without moving a centimeter.

Apollo: “Well, I think you look worse than a flaming shit goblin!”

Aphrodite: *dramtic gasp*

Apollo: “That’s right! I said it.”

Aphrodite: “We-well you’re...you’re uglier than Artemis!”

Apollo: *horrifed screeching*

Artemis: “I’m gonna snap one of these days. I hope you all realize that.”

Zoë: “Personally I think you’re lovely.”

Aphrodite: “Poor taste really.”

Zoë: “Be quiet shit goblin.”

— — —

Satyr: *trying to woo Artemis*

Artemis: “The amount of alcohol I’d need to consume in order to sleep with you would kill me...and I’m a god.”

Zoë: “How much for me?”

Artemis: “Give me a sip of water and I’m yours.”

— — —

Zoë: “How does your father comb his hair?”

Artemis: “...with a comb?”

Zoë: “No, so the little horns don’t show.”

Artemis: “That’s-that’s a very good question.”

— — —

Hestia: “Just because I’m quiet doesn’t mean I’m harmless.”

Poseidon: “What does that mean?”

Hestia: “I’ve figured out how each of you would die.”

Poseidon:...

Hestia: “Artemis gets so angry she murders you all. Athena is her accomplice.”

Poseidon: “That actually makes a lot of sense.”

Zoë: “Sure.”

Hermes: “Why don’t you date him?”

Artemis: “I’d destroy him.”

Hermes: “He’d be into that.”

Artemis: “I don’t like men.”

Hermes: “Nice, playing hard to get.”

Artemis: “No, no I am not.”

Hermes: “You’re good at it too.”

Artemis: *frustratedly kisses Zoë*

Hermes: “Great, now go do that over there.”

Artemis: “IM GAY HERMES! I AM GAY!”

Hermes: “Ohhh....you know that makes a lot more sense now.”

Zoë: “How have you lived with these people for centuries?”

Lieutenant