Every day we are given an incredible amount of opportunities to choose our own path in life. We are able to choose what we say and do, how we react to situations, if we are going to internalize the awful things we see on the news, or if we want to let go of the things that hurt us. These decisions don’t come easily and sometimes they can feel down-right impossible to make, but they are our decisions to make.

For me personally, I’ve decided to make the conscious choice of seeing life in a different light. I’ve chosen to open my eyes to the wonderful things out there and not allow my mind to dwell on the negative.

Before I dive into this, I want to make something perfectly clear. Looking at things in a positive light will not magically give you everything you’ve ever wanted. I’ve read and heard many people talk about how being positive will give us all those things we’ve missed out on. That’s simply not how life works. There should always be a healthy amount of realism in the way you see things. Don’t blind yourselves to what happens in life, hide from painful experiences, or ignore the plight of your brothers and sisters. Life will always provide challenges; there will always be times of disappointment and pain. These things are inherent to the human experience. However, this is where our ability to choose comes into play. You can choose to focus on the pain and allow the darkness a place to call home in your mind, or you can choose to keep hope and happiness in your world. Again, this does not change the reality of world we live in, but it does change how we perceive it, which is our personal reality.

Our life experiences up until this very moment dictate how we view everything. From the mundane day to day (Work, school and everything in-between) to the most important moments of life (Love, loss, and your personal purpose). Our past plays a role in all aspects of our world.

If, like me, your life has been full of pain and challenges, disappointment and longing, sadness and fear, then you probably have a filter on the lens that you experience the world through. The filter will apply to every situation forcing you to see everything with the pain of your past. You might, for example, start a new relationship with someone but immediately step back to prepare for heartbreak. Even though this is an entirely new person and situation, your past experiences tell you that it will end poorly. So you walk into it with the wall you’ve built your entire life. The wall that protects you from the pain you’ve felt so many times before. You’ll go through the motions of the relationship hoping that it will be different, even though you don’t believe it will be. And because you hide behind your wall you can’t make a real connection that’s vital to all relationships. So it doesn’t have a chance to be different. The relationship will end before it ever had a chance to begin because you’re too busy protecting yourself from the fall.

The thing about the fall however, is you have to actually take the jump first. If you choose to open yourself up, be vulnerable, and leap, you might find something new. You might find enjoyment. You might find that connection with another human-being. You might even find moments of real happiness. But as we know life isn’t perfect. The relationship may still fail and you may still end up hurt and betrayed. That doesn’t negate the happiness you had though. It doesn’t take away the moments of love and the connection you felt. For me, the ability to have great happiness, even though it invites pain, will always be better than hiding from everything hoping to lessen the pain.

A relationship is only one tiny part of the point I’m trying to make. In reality, the choice to look at things differently affects everything; your career, family, friends, hobbies, EVERYTHING. You have the choice to see life through any filter you want.

You can decide to see the misery and struggle that is all around you and say that’s all this life is. You can put on blinders and trudge forward full of resentment and frustration. That’s your choice and no one can deny that to you, but it does nothing but hurt YOU. Viewing life like that will prevent you from seeing that even though our world has a lot of terrible things in it, even though you may not get everything you wanted, it is still full of beautiful and amazing moments that make life worth living.

Keeping the filter of darkness over your mind will prevent you from ever being able to experience life the way you want. You will continue to wall yourself in, and disappointment will be a part of everything you do. Eventually, you will stop trying. You will resign to what is, in your eyes, the inevitable path of pain. You will forever miss out on even the tiniest moments of happiness.

That doesn’t have to be your life. If you begin to force yourself to see life in a hopeful way, those things that hurt, frustrate, and anger you, won’t be able to poison your mind for long. It’s naïve to say that pain and disappointment will stop being a part of life, but they won’t last forever and you will have the courage to start again. Holding onto that hopefulness will make it easier to do the things that scare you. It will give you a real chance to find what you’re looking for in life. Whether that’s your dream job, the strength to perform in front of others, the investment that makes you rich, the hobby that brings you joy, that one person you want to spend your days with, or simply stated, whatever gives your life meaning. Whatever it is you’re looking for, you’ll have a better chance to find it by focusing on the good in life.

I’m not saying this is how you must live. You don’t have to listen to a word I say. You can think whatever you want of me, but know that all I want is for the ones that I love to be happy. In the end, this is your choice to make. It’s a choice to see the world differently every day and in every situation. It’s the choice to ask yourself if what you are experiencing is a true representation of what life is, or if your past is tainting your perspective of reality.

No matter what you choose, I will still love you. I’ve seen the consequences of both choices in my own life and the lives of others. I can say that one choice is better than the other, but it’s also much more terrifying. It means that you have to open yourself up to this world; this imperfect, unjust, unforgiving, devastating, wonderful, beautiful, warm, and loving world. To me, there is only one choice worth making. There will never be reward without risk, but the fear of pain will never stop me from going after what I value most: Love and happiness for myself and for my sisters and brothers of this world.

I choose to see the good all around me, to not let my past haunt me, to give people a chance, and most importantly, to be happy.