#thedollmaker

Pink with the illusion of love, warm red neon lighting your way into the comfortable, waiting mouth of the Dollhouse. A lure in the dark no doubt—such are nighttime hunters. It is unlike where you have come from earlier that evening though they are both places of performance, where bodies are the main attraction, the money placed on them their lifeblood. The Wishbone dressed in its stark whites, only with an occasional splash of red, smeared across the floor, dripping down her body unlike how it overflows here, soft and diffuse, nearly something you can touch, just out of reach. 

She exits one mouth and enters another, each entirely by choice. 

Still not completely clean, lip split and blood dried to the delicate skin around her neck, Clementine walks deeper, eyes adjusting. She’s not entirely too picky—simply too exhausted from tonight’s fight to care much about who it is that drapes themselves over her shoulders or moves the blood beneath her already forming bruises. Though it’s not unlike normal, preferring to defer the choice to someone else or allow someone to choose her, relinquishing the unease that she feels looking into young faces like her own. 

(It is a simple desire—to want to be held gently, without threat of injury or other worse forms of ill intent; think: broken ribs and skin ripped wide open.)

❝ Come now, Alice. Am I not to be as much honored and obeyed as the Queen? Is that asking too much? I want what she wanted. Give yourself over to that. Trade the tentacles for the Train. It's altogether a better ride. It's that, or back to Rutledge! ❞

(She likes to read)1

(She doesn't like masky And offenderman)2

(She Has heterochromy)3

(Elena is half Russian and half Japanese)4

(Jason Taught her English because she couldn't before)5

(Her favorite color is green and purple)6

(She. Like to drinks alcohol)7

(Her favorite alcoholic drink is vodka)8

(she is a albino )9

(Elena is bi)10

(Elena has a half sister)11

Honestly, I’m feeling pretty stuck with this Dollmaker short film. Every time I go to draw up something to animate I end up feeling stuck. I’m thinking I may change my short film to the Alan Watts idea. Hopefully this can work how I want it to and I don’t feel as stumped on how to go about animating it.

So, for the Alan Watts short film I wanted to take a snippet from one of his lectures on death, specifically The Essence of Alan Watts vol. 4: Death (1975). I remember listening to this a while back and it really stood out to me, unfortunately I couldn’t find the lecture so, I ended up looking for something else. I ended up coming across an Alan Watts account on Spotify, which seems to have clips from his lectures with music, I found one called Dream. While listening to this I came up with visuals that I think can go alongside with what he was saying.

[Alan Watts:] If you awaken from this illusion and you understand that black implies white self implies other life implies death or shall I say death implies life you can feel yourself. Not as a stranger in the world. Not as something here on probation. Not as something that has arrived here by fluke. But you can begin to feel your own existence as absolutely fundamental.

I want to make something that suits the sound, is flowing and also something that makes sense with what’s being said but, nothing too literal. I feel like this is something I can definitely get done and I don’t feel as on edge about it looking a certain way as I’m just listening to it and drawing what comes to mind.