#thecursedanon chaotic queue

“Tell him to leave me alone!!” Suguru yelped, narrowly avoiding Satoru’s lunging attempt to grab him.

“Tell him to accept his ticklish fate!” Satoru shot back, the two running around a picnic table, one would dart one way, and the other would dart the other.

Shoko let out a long, suffering sigh. “You’re acting like children, Satoru, quit torturing him… and Suguru… just accept his affection, give him some headpat’s or something, he’ll forget about tickling you… probably.”

“As tempting as that is…” Satoru grinned, then dove across the picnic table at Suguru. “NOTHING CAN MAKE ME FORGET ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY TICKLES!”

Suguru shrieked, diving to the side to avoid him yet again. He scrambled to his feet, beelining for the safety of the school… only to get sent tumbling to the ground thanks to Shoko extending her leg out and tripping him.

He looked up at her in betrayal, but didn’t have time to complain before Satoru was pouncing on top of him, blue eyes glimmering devilishly behind his blindfold. “Gotcha!!”

“Shoko, you traitor!!”

“Sorry, I can’t handle you idiots running around while I’m trying to study for my recertification…” Shoko mumbled, not bothering to look up from her textbooks. “Just get it over with and you’ll get to the cuddles and snacks sooner.”

“Satoru, this is a dumb tradition!” Suguru complained, catching his hands and trying to hold them away from him.

Satoru grinned. 

Every year since they were second years, he’s hunted Suguru down and tickled him silly, then proceeded to shower him in cuddles and affection, followed by his favorite snacks.

No matter how hard Suguru tried to get away, no matter how hard he tried to hide… he could never escape tradition.

“C’monnn, don’t be a brat about it… everyone gets birthday tickles from me, you just get the extra cuddles and snacks~” Satoru teased, ripping his hands free to immediately start squeezing at his waist.

“You’re suhuhuhuch an ass!” Suguru whined between giggles, squirming.

“It’s true though.” Shoko hummed.

“That I’m an ass??” Satoru gasped in mock offense.

“Well, yes, that.” Nanami spoke up from his spot next to Shoko. “But also that this tradition is dumb.”

“I wihihihihish you didn’t know my bihihihirthday! You’re sohohoho mehehehean!” Suguru’s whining was broken up by more giggles as Satoru’s fingers slipped under his teacher's jacket and shirt to spider along his bare skin.

The unseasoned snowcone gasped dramatically. “How could you say that?! I make sure you spend your birthday laughing, cuddled, and your favorite snacks on hand! It’s not my fault you’re crabby!”

Ah yes, Satoru Gojo, the ever innocent, ever gentle angel… he never seeks out chaos, nono… don’t be ridiculous.

“We all wish he didn’t know our birthdays…” Shoko teased, smirking as she side eyed the two gremlins. “I think Yaga had the right idea keeping his birthday a secret.”

“Nuh-uh! Because I’m gonna find it out, and then he’s gonna get eleven years worth of birthday tickles… and then some for not disclosing such crucial information!” 

“You say that every year.” Nanami pointed out, glancing up from his newspaper. 

“Yeah, and then he wrecks you.” Haibara grinned, then went back to reading over Nanami’s shoulder.

“Don’t make me come over there.” Satoru huffed, pausing as he looked down at his giggly best friend, his mock pout giving way to a bright grin as he admired how cute Suguru looked, wiggling around and kicking aimlessly. 

“Ugh… why do you have to be so cute?!” Satoru cooed as he pushed his shirt and jacket up, then leaning down and nuzzling his face against Suguru’s stomach and placing ticklish little kisses there.

Suguru yelped as his giggles quickly morphed into full fledged laughter. His face turned bright red as he shoved uselessly at his totally not boyfriend’s head. “Nahahahah! Sahahahtoru don’t! Ahahahahah!”

“Suguwuuu, let me give you kissesssss~” Satoru whined, continuing his barrage of ticklish kisses along his toned stomach.

“You’re a mehehehenace!!” Suguru complained between laughs, grasping for dear life at Satoru’s snowy hair and trying to tug his face away.

“Sugubooooo~” Satoru pouted, then planted a raspberry against his lower stomach. “Let go of my hair!”

Suguru gasped sharply and threw his head back cackling, flailing as though he’d been electrocuted. “Nahahahaha! Nahahat thahahahat! Plehehehehehease!”

Satoru grinned that shit eating grin up at him, then blew a few more against his hyper ticklish lower tummy. “What was that? Please do it more? Okay~”

“I cahahahahahan’t!” Suguru gasped out, laughing hysterically. “Ihihihits too much!”

“Well that’s just a damn shame…” Satoru pouted up at him. “Because I have twenty six more to go.” He blew another raspberry. “Tweny five…”

“TWEHEHEHENTY FIVE!?” Suguru choked out in alarm, back arching from the electrical sensations. “I’ll dihihihihie!”

“Sorry, you got a ticklish belly, you get birthday raspberries… I don't make the rules.” Gojo sighed dramatically, shaking his head in mock sympathy before blowing another raspberry on his tum. “You and Yuta should form a support group~” 

The raspberries continued until he made it to 28 in total, only then did he relent and give him a break.

Suguru was a mess by that point, tears rolling down his face, gasping desperately for air.

“Awww… was I too mean?” Satoru cooed, leaning up and nuzzling against Suguru's damp cheek.

“You're such an… a-ass.” Suguru hiccuped, a grin still forced across his features.

“What the hell did I just interrupt?” Yaga mumbled, walking over to the group reluctantly.

Suguru looked up at him, eyes still teary. “Help meeee…. He won't leave me alone…” he pouted.

“Oh, right… the tradition.” Yaga sighed, grabbing Satoru by the back of his coat, making him let out an indignant squawk as he yanked him off of the object of his mischief.

“Heyyyy, I wasn't done yetttt…” Satoru whined as he wiggled around, but Yaga held him above the ground… like a mother cat carrying their troublemaker kitten by its scruff.

“Yes you are. It's his birthday, quit torturing him.” Yaga retorted, dropping Satoru unceremoniously onto his ass in front of Nanami, who didn't hesitate to hook his long legs around Satoru to keep him from going right back over there.

“You alright, kid?” Yaga asked, his gruff tone holding gentle concern as he knelt down next to Suguru and helped him sit up.

“Yeah… thanks…” Suguru rubbed his eyes, ridding them of the remaining tears. He relaxed when he felt his totally not father rub his back gently to ease the ache in his poor lungs.

“Happy birthday, Suguru.”

Suguru grinned tiredly, then looked over at all his friends. Who were bickering with a whiny Satoru at the moment. “Thanks… they make it… interesting.”

“Interesting isn't the word i would've used but… I'm glad.” Yaga chuckled quietly, squeezing his shoulder affectionately.

Satoru perked up, eyes darting over to Yaga. “Oh old maaaan~ you wanna tell me your birthday??”

“Satoru…” Yaga let out a long tired sigh. “I would rather be forced to listen to Gakuganji play the Barney theme song on his stupid fucking guitar for five hours straight than tell you my birthday.”

Haibara choked on his soda at that, bursting out laughing at the mental image, even Nanami snorted and Shoko laughed too.

“Ooo, you're getting feisty in your old age.” Satoru laughed. “Your big age of 47 is starting to really show.”

“I'm still 46.” He retorted with a fond eye roll, then looked down at Suguru. “So… was there anything in particular you wanted for your birthday?”

Suguru hummed thoughtfully, then looked up at Satoru with a mischievous grin. “Yeah… revenge~”

“Wha? Now hold up… wait just a minute Suguru… don't even– ACK! N-Nohohoho! This isn't how it's supposed to go!! Not fahahahahair!”