The fact that my favorite person and best friend of 9 years can look me in the eyes, see me crying and not care about it at all is tearing me apart inside. Our friendship was the best relationship we've both experienced in our whole life but since we moved in together everything seems to be falling apart. I feel the difference in how she treats me. I feel how she has to fake interest and kindness towards me the first time since I know her. It breaks my fucking heart because our connection has always been built on so much love, trust and a deep understanding of one another, even if we both have a very complicated personality. Being together had always been our save space, our comfort zone, where we could finally be ourselves and forget the rest of the world. I'm not used to her treating me like I am worthless and stupid. I worked on myself so many times during the last few months. I worked on myself to make sure that sharing an apartment would work out and be a great experience. But she doesn't care. I feel so unloveable, shitty and worthless. I don't know what to think about this. I know it can't only be my fault but I feel like I'm the one making mistakes. Like I'm simply a bad and disgusting person that no one really wants to be around. Apart from all that everything is hard for me at the moment anyways. I can barely function.
