Youâll note that this is a longer horoscope than usual: thatâs because Iâve opted into a free week of the more detailed dailies on the Astrology Zone app., hoping to get more out of them for this project. Â
As far as my finances, values, and boundaries go, thatâs sort of interesting. I spent a solid chunk of time earlier this week trying to figure out how to get paid from eBay: theyâve changed their payout policies. While I havenât been wrestling with my values, Iâve been considering my boundaries as they relate to my ex:Â âto text or not to textâ etc.
On Feb. 15 I wrote (in a note to myself):
Sometimes itâs less that I want to talk to (my ex) than it is that I want her to want to talk to me. I donât just want to hear her voice, I want to know that she misses mine too, or, more accurately, I want her to miss me too. I donât just miss her. I miss that emotional reciprocity: that mutual longing, the mutual recognition of connection, that feeling of being connected, a circuit, stars in orbit around each other (if thatâs a thing, and if itâs not, whatever). I want her to call. Thereâs no surer way of getting to not want to talk to me than by trying and so here I am attempting to generate the illusion of not-trying â fucking Stendhal undoubtedly laughing at me from beyond â and anxious all the while that she actually wants my actual disinterest rather than this thing that I am feigning and FUCK how did I manage to fuck all this up so badly?
Whether or not âquestions will be answered now and finite boundaries can be respectedâ remains to be seen, but what does the second part of that even mean? Christ, thatâs poorly written.
Are not all boundaries finite by definition? An infinite boundary wouldnât be a boundary at all.Â