#theactorhimself

Lemme draw your muse! (Accepting, but I'm going to bed now)

@the-actor-himself WAHAHA ANOTHER POST.

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Wilford insists this is how Mark seduced his wife back in the day. Mark vehemently denies it.

As much as he wanders, it’s sure to be found eventually.

He’s going to need all the help he can get. The bear’s a good start.

Thank you.

-M

@the-actor-himself

Follow-on from this ask

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And the envelope does make it way. The neatly sealed stationery is discovered in an obscure place by the only man who would notice the unusual addition to the location.

A simple note. A short message. Vague and somewhat concerning to one who might pick it up by mistake. But this was the intended recipient, and he remembered all of this far too well.

A familiar face expressing a desire to be a father and having a family. A booming laugh and a playful jab at how the children would no doubt be talented, creative individuals if they are made tread the boards.

Well, it's a lot later than anyone would have expected, but it happened. Even if the words of thanks were crossed out, the sentiment was still there in the form of the letter being delivered in the first place.

Behind Closed Doors - the Exclusive Scoop! (Accepting)

@the-actor-himself

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The Actor? Wilford gave a light shrug as he propped his elbow on the left arm of his chair. It was the dead of night (or was it after dawn? Timezones are weird). Perfect time to talk about this without anyone else hearing.

"Better ya asked me this now than a few weeks ago. Th' answer would've been waaay different. I didn't remember him, or maybe I chose ta forget. Not too sure which. Can't trust th' ol' noggin with things like 'memories'. Speakin' of, memories are comin' back, but they're a little... Fuzzy? There's a lot I don't know, an' maybe ya oughta ask him 'bout. They're like movey photos fer me. Moments here an' there, if ya get me.

What I do remember is that I was so sure he was always there. Thick as thieves, an' what have ya. But things went a little sour, like that milky tea ya left out in th' sun. He became so - so..." A hand was waved like he was trying to gesture to word to come back to him. "Ah! Selfish. That's th' word I wanted. He did go 'round an' help people, of course, but there was this, uh, feelin' that he was doin' it more fer himself an' ta show off how great he was now that he was rich an' famous. Once he got a taste of that success, he was like a bloodhound huntin' a rabbit. Pretty sure I used that phrase before. Sounds smart. Then things went bad. Real bad. Can't quite remember why, but shit hit th' fan. After that... It's just anger an' some other bitter feelin'. Must've slipped through th' cracks. I know when I - as in th' me ya see before ya - first learned 'bout him, I felt anger. I didn't know why, since I didn't know th' guy, but somethin' 'bout his face just pissed me off."

There was a pause as Wilford rested his chin on the hand that was supported by the chair's arm. He wasn't sure if this was even answering the question properly. Talking about the past life when you didn't fully remember it was hard.

"He's been through a lot," he was choosing his words very carefully, "Or at least, that what it feels like. He's got these sorta chains wrapped 'round him, pullin' him back. Guilt, probably. It's too heavy fer somethin' like grief. Despite that, he's tryin' ta have a better start. He's got a kid. He always wanted a family, y'know? Someone that was related by blood, an' not a brother 'cause someone else decided you two were now brothers. But he was always a Barnum. I think he lost sight of that along th' way. Ta me, there was no difference. Mark was Mark, an' I was whoever I was at th' time. But we're not th' same people. I think he still hates me. Not that I'd blame him. Not th' first time I've heard my past life was a bit of an asshole. Sayin' that, I'm not a man who lives in th' past. I'm all 'bout th' here an' now. I wanna get ta know him again. Not sure if he let me be a brother again, but I'd be happy ta just be friends if that's what he'd want."

Let Wilf Draw Your Muse! (Accepting!)

@the-actor-himself

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"Mark's always been a chatterbox (affectionate) so I like ta pretend he has Star walk 'round with him while he talks."

(@asterius-of-crete / @crushng )

Behind Closed Doors

@the-actor-himself

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It was rare to actually see the Author. The colour drained from Yancy's face when he was ushered into one of the rooms used for interviews. When Michael appeared, it usually meant something bad was on the horizon.

"Relax, Mr. Moore, you aren't in trouble." As if reading the prisoner's mind, Michael gestured to the chair on the opposite side of the table. "I simply need your assistance. I'm doing some research and I need an insight on someone."

"I don't gotta choice, do I."

"No."

"Fine. Who?"

"Mark. Or, to be more specific, the one who is a disgraced actor. You know the one I mean."

"Last I heard he gots waaaay more popular. Why not ask one of his friends?" Yancy slouched into his seat, folding his arms as best as the handcuffs would allow.

Michael shrugged. "Simple. A character isn't based solely on their positives. The most popular characters are ones that readers that relate to because they have flaws, just the same as them. Just be honest. It's not like he's going to hear any of this... Assuming a monarch don't allow the words to slip by."

".... What's that about a monarch?"

"I wasn't talking to you, Yancy. Now. Speak your mind. And be honest. I'll know if you're lying."

Yancy hit his head off the back of his chair and let out a frustrated groan. "Fine, fine. Only if youse leaves me alone after this. I don't get why everyone likes him. They's is always saying things 'bout he's so cool or sweet or thoughtful or whatever... But all I sees is some sorta - ugh, what's the word? Y'know... someone who thinks they is all high and mighty but they just looks like a fool..."

"A fop?"

"Don't think that's the word I was thinking of, but I'll take it. I sees a different side to him, like I's is just something he can keep making fun of. He sees me as some sorta... I dunno, a toy? A game? Something you can peer in at like I'm an exhibition or in the zoo."

"You're in prison. It's basically a zoo for worthless scum like you, but carry on." Michael's eyes were on the notes he was writing. It was easy to ignore the offense on the prisoner's face.

"See! Youse is doing the same! You writer-and-or-theatre folk is all the same -"

"But I'm not two-faced."

"Yeah yeah! Youse just hate everyone. But Mark?" Yancy pulled himself up and put a hand on his chest. When he spoke again, it was in a posh, mocking accent to 'impersonate' Mark. "Ohhh, look at me, I'm the actor that everyone loves! Everyone wants to fall over me and worship me and ignore the fact that I'm a fucking asshole if you aren't giving me the praise and validation I deserve! Pah. They ain't gonna believe a word of this, by the way. They all conveniently forget he's also a fucking piece of trash who just finished parole. Or maybe he's one of them people decent folk wanna protect like he's some fragile plant or whatever." The chains rattled as he slumped forward. "But don't you knows him too? Why not do youses' own opinion instead?"

"Mine is hardly as detailed as that. But to humour you, it is this: He's a people pleaser. That's why he's popular. In trying to prove people love him, and that he isn't the pathetic mess that destroyed several lives, he's lost sight of his sense of self. Maybe he'll get it back thanks to his son, or maybe he's content to be the actor with a hundred masks of meekness and piety that people can take pity on."

"So he's a faker?"

Send a number, get a hug! (Accepting! Still slowly working through them…)

@the-actor-himself

18. the hug that lasts longer than the rest 20: an overjoyed hug

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Everyone at the studio had noticed Wilford was 'off' today. He was still working, and still giving everything his usual gusto, but something wasn't quite right - as though something was troubling him. Whatever it was would be something no one could get out of him. It was something that he was oddly tight-lipped about. The most someone could get out of him was "it's a personal matter". After that, the crew decided to respect his privacy and offer support instead.

No one batted an eyelid when they realised the director had disappeared earlier than usual with his door locked. Whatever was happening must have been due.

It was an eerily familiar setting. Wilford found himself standing on the porch of the elegant manor, hesitating to knock the door. He could think of many reasons to step away and pretend he never arrived. One reason countered them all:

He needed to do this.

@the-actor-himself

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It's late, I should be asleep, but I think I need to get this out before I do anything else tonight.

King, let me be honest. You are a joy and a treasure to this community that is worthy of the pen name you use. It's been an absolute delight watching you reach out to everyone and help them feel welcome and included. I'm grateful I was lucky to cross paths with you when you originally set up this particular blog, and consider myself doubly lucky that I was still here upon your return when the time was right. You're such a friendly, engaging individual who really embodies the desire to be here because it is fun.

You've got an incredible range with characters. Not only that, you've such a commitment to their development both in the main verses and sideline AUs. For instance, Illinois in both normal verse and villain verse are so well-developed and deep. I've enjoyed seeing how things have developed (and omg don't get me started on Charlie he's PRECIOUS). As for Actor... I really like how he has been able to find his way to a redemption that makes sense. Nothing about any of this feels forced, and it makes me glad to see you're handling this so well. I'm very much looking forward to seeing where things go: with the anons, other characters, and with Wilf.

I am glad that we are friends. Though we've both been utterly swamped lately, I do look forward to when we can simply talk about characters without the pressure to do things. And who knows? I might have to resort to your blogs to help me get used to the ask-development process. :P

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