#thea silver

Violet huffed and buried herself deeper in her coat, her wide brown eyes darting every which way. It looked like it was trying to eat her and winning. Thea considered saying this out loud but bit her tongue. Just in case Violet was actually scared, she didn’t need to worry about a predatory parka . . . or anything else out in the woods that might have a similar appetite.

“Come on, Violet,” Thea slung an arm over her shoulder. “I’ve done this plenty of times.”

“And yet that doesn’t help.”

“It will be worth it?”

“Nope.”

“I’ve done crazier?”

“NO!” Violet exclaimed. “What?! What have you done that’s crazier than this?”

Thea remembered the day on the lake and decided not to mention it to Violet. It was the one secret she had managed never to tell her best friend. Thea had worst secrets that she had spilled with no hesitation, but that day on the lake seemed . . . hers. For Thea had discovered something that day that had terrified her and to say it out loud would make it too real.

Maybe she could tell Violet at some point; maybe when the day came that Thea didn’t think about it. But it was apparently not the day.              

“Nothing. Wrestling bears. Taking meth. Selling my soul to the guy in the alley across from my house.”

“You’re not funny.”

“I am hilarious. After a few decades of haunting me, you’ll see it.”

“Decades? I have wait that long?”

“Yeah, my humor’s like a fine wine. It needs time to reach its maximum flavor.”

“You’re trying to distract me.”

“I’m insulted that you think I can only be witty when I have an ulterior motive.” Thea clutched her chest, gasping in indignation. “How dare you, the most pesky judge on the planet –“

“You drama queen.”

But Violet was smiling and she was no longer drowning in her jacket. In fact, she was moving faster than Thea. Thea could feel the tension unwinding as Violet’s playful streak took over. Thea was glad because almost, for just a moment, she shared Violet’s fear. Being reckless was easier when no one else was in danger.

Thea kept up the banter. Most people believed Violet was shy, but she was one of the few people in their small city who could match Thea word for word.

With Violet as company, they were on Thea’s favorite ledge in no time. They managed to make a small little place for themselves, comfortable almost to a point of sleep, right before it began.

It started with a shimmer on the horizon, a wave of yellow and green light that kissed the sky. It reminded Thea of a heartbeat, rising steadily one step at a time until it was a curtain. The green rippled and danced, a flicker of pink whispering around the edges and disappearing just as quickly as it came. It was twisted, curling, chaotic, but beautiful.

So beautiful.

Thea wanted to keep it with her forever. Inspiration flared in her so brightly it nearly choked her. It was a familiar sensation.

“I want to make jewelry that feels like this,” she whispered to Violet. “So that I never have to be without it. I want to share it with everyone because it feels too big for just me.”

Violet sighed and poked Thea. “How can a wiseass like you be so ridiculously soft?”

“Natural talent,” Thea immediately replied. “It’s a blessing and a curse.”

Violet snorted. “So, this is your secret watch-the-lights hangout. Did you bring Natalie here?”

“Once,” Thea admitted. It felt like a long time ago, but it had only been a year since her only real relationship. It had lasted four months and then . . . everything happened. Thea had broken up with Natalie a week later. “She thought the lights were pretty, said my eyes were reflective, and we made out all night.”

“I agree with one and two, but three is a bit unlikely.”

“Why did I bring you out here again?”

After rolling her eyes, Violet asked, “Are you going to enter the Selection?”

Thea had seen the question coming. There was a reason Violet asked her then; because they both felt that pull. Staring at the incredible power of the Aurora borealis, they wanted . . . more. Thea felt is resonating inside her. She wanted out of her small town, out of the cold snow, out of her house, and out of her current life. There was an entire world out there, and she wanted all of it.

And the Selection could give her that. But her secrets were safe in St. George where no one questioned or wondered. They wouldn’t be with the media watching her every move.

Thea said, “The prince wouldn’t be able to handle me.”

“Well, that’s a given. But that doesn’t mean he has to stay that way.”

“What if he’s boring?”

“You’ll still get to watch one man try to keep up with thirty-five women. At least if he’s boring, that certainly won’t be. It will be a bloodbath of epic proportions.”

“There will be snobby people there.”

“And you’re worried about not fitting in.”

Thea swatted at Violet, earning a giggle from her. “Besides,” Violet choked out past her laughter, “The prince might surprise you.”

“And if he finds out about me, I’d be eliminated right away if not worst.”

“True,” Violet admitted quietly. “But . . . you’ll be out.”

The word struck a chord in both of them.

“Are you entering?” Thea whispered after a few seconds.

“Of course. I have nothing to lose.”

And you do.

But the words remained unspoken. After a few hours, Thea and Violet packed up their stuff and walked back home in silence. Exhaustion weighed heavily on Thea, but her mind was racing too fast to think about it. Violet let her think, but Thea knew she was there if she needed her.

When they reached Violet’s house, Violet hugged Thea despite her protest. “No matter what you decide, I’ll support you. But don’t be reckless.”

“I’m always reckless.”

“Not when it counts.”

Thea felt her heart tighten. But she didn’t let it peak through her smiling mask.

 The moment Thea walked in, Jack was thrust into her hands. The boy instantly began playing with her hair with his sticky fingers. She would have been upset except the little devil blinked up her with his dark eyes.

“I’ve got to run to work,” her father, Liam Silver, said after handing over her brother. He hadn’t bothered to brush his hair, and his clothes didn’t match. He looked how Thea felt, except more well rested. “Meet me there soon. We have to a lot of work to do today.”

Jack squealed and pulled on Thea’s hair. She sighed with resignation. “I need some time to get ready. Unless your goal was for both of us look like we crawled out from under a rock?”

Her father was already out the door.

Thea ground her teeth and resisted clenching her fists. Jack wouldn’t appreciate it.

Her mood wasn’t improved by the appearance of her grandmother. The old bag of bones clearly felt the same way, for she sneered at the sight of Thea. She always reminded Thea of some kind of reptile, slinking and hissing with venomous intent.

“Stop bringing filth into this house,” Georgia said. Thea knew she wasn’t talking about the dirt on the floor.

“Stop slowly dying on the carpet and get it over with.”

“You ungrateful-,” whatever she was about to say was forgotten when she remembered Jack was in the room. Thea was a little disappointed. She was curious what creative and inspiring insult her grandmother had thought of.

“Love you too, Grandmama.”

“Liam?” Isabelle called, creeping past Georgia. It took Thea a few seconds to recognize her. Her blonde hair had recently been cut and dyed black for a reason she wouldn’t say. Thea thought it was because it made her look fiercer. She couldn’t really blame Isabelle for it, considering being five feet tall did not make an intimidating police officer.

After walking in on Georgia and Thea’s stare down, Isabelle sighed. Her expression was the one that she arrested criminals with. “Thea, stop being a smartass and feed Jack. Your form is on the table. Georgia, either go to your room or start making breakfast.”

Georgia chose the coward’s way and made her way to her room. Isabelle muttered, “Then it’s up to me to cook.”

Thea dramatically groaned. “I’d rather eat a rock from the backyard. It’d be more editable.”

“So you’d rather cook?”

“Burnt toast, please.”

Isabelle shook her head, clearly wishing Thea had indeed agreed. But they made their way to the kitchen.

“Did your father leave?” Isabelle asked.

“Yup. Told me I had to hurry to the store.” Thea found the form among the stack of papers. It was the most official statement their family had ever received. And Jack had already spilled food on it. He was like a destructive force of nature. Nothing would be spared.

“Are you considering it?” Isabelle asked. Her voice was neutral, but Thea could hear the undercurrent of interest.

“What if I was?”

Isabelle didn’t respond right away. Thea focused on taking care of Jack. It wasn’t until Jack had been fed, changed, and was quietly playing with his toys that Isabelle joined Thea on the couch. “I’m sure you’ve already considered the dangers.”

“Just a little.” For two weeks straight . . .

“Do you even want it? Him? The crown?”

“No,” Thea responded quickly, as she always did. But then she thought about it. “Maybe. I want to get out of here. More than anything.”

Isabelle took Thea’s hand. “Alright, then you’ll get out. If you’re chosen, then you’ll be a Three, you’ll get out of St. George, and you’ll go to the palace. You’ll be free of here. 

“But what about after that, Thea? When the media starts poking around? And you’ll be competing to be queen. You’ll meet the prince. You might fall in love. It’s not just the freedom. It’s everything. It’s responsibility.”

Trust Isabelle to lay it on thick. Thea asked, “What’s it like to be a Two?”

There was no one else she could ask that question. There were very few high numbers in their city, and none that Thea was closer to than Isabelle. Although it was unlikely Isabelle would ever give up her caste to marry Liam, she was more Thea’s family than Georgia. 

And certainly Thea never planned to be anything more than a four.

“More respect,” Isabelle replied. Thea understood.

“If I did go, you’d take care of Jack?”

“Me and Georgia. And Liam when he’s not too busy.”

“Oh, I feel so much better.”

Isabelle slung an arm over her shoulders and ruffled her already messy hair. “Yes, Thea. We will take care of Jack.”

Thea nodded and went to the table where the filthy form was. “I want it.”

Isabelle chuckled behind her. “Then do it. But if you do, it will be dangerous. You’re safe here. You won’t be there.”

Isabelle kissed the back of her head and finished making breakfast.

Thea stared down at the form and remembered that day on the lake.

When she had been six-years-old, she had been exploring and had seen something. After all these years, she still had no idea what it had been, probably a bird or squirrel. But it had fascinated her six-year-old-self, who had promptly chased after it.

And her entire world had become a single sound. A crack that shook the earth. Thea had wondered out onto a lake and had taken one wrong step. The ice beneath her feet had cracked and webbed, splitting the air. The ground had lurched beneath her, and Thea would never forget those precious seconds afterward where everything had stood still. The wind and cold vanished. Time became a distant thing. No animals could be heard over the thundering of her heart.

And Thea had been tempted. Even at such a tender age, she had felt the need to go further. The distant shore had gleamed like a jewel, calling to her like a siren. Faced between possible death or not knowing, Thea had nearly chosen the latter.

But she had turned away and managed to crawl her way back to safety.

Thea hadn’t ventured out on that lake since. For she knew, just as she knew that the sun would rise and the world would spin, that if it happened again, she wouldn’t have the strength to turn away a second time.

“Keep moving forward. Never slow down. Never stop. Never look back.”

Thea felt that same way staring at the form. Laid out before her in neat cursive were those same cracks in the ice. With just a bit of pressure, they would shatter, and Thea would find herself drowning in a ruthless sea.

She signed the form: