#the-queenmaker

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

like why do you go out of your way to hurt me personally and highly specifically.

things you said with too many miles between us

ha ha ha, just in time for transfer season

literally, the week i realized the Dani Carvajal Lil Lumberjack Loverman Thing was actually A Thing, ñengo released vol. 3 and the first fucking song out of the gate,

Send me a ship and I will rate it:

listen, this ship singlehandedly got me to care about tater as a sentient human being so IT’S MAGIC! IT’S REAL! THEY’RE IN LOVE! ANTONIO Y LUCAS PARA SIEMPRE!!!!

and answer:

Who is the most affectionate?

do u even need to ask! lucas! but even worse better is that he’s aggressive about it? he’s gonna jump onto his back! he’s gonna tug him hard by his arm! he’s gonna smother him with kisses until being touched is a normal sensation to him! HE’S GONNA TEACH THAT POTATO FEELINGS!!! it’s awful.

Big spoon/Little spoon?

i know he’s german, and i know lucas is the softest little butterbean in the entire universe, but like, i’ve made the executive decision that toni is the little spoon. mostly because otherwise he just leave the spooning bc he’s not used to it, not that he doesn’t like it. he likes it, but it’s so new and he’s such a perfectionist that he’s afraid to do it wrong so lucas just turns them around and envelops him until toni is like, “am i doing it okay?” and lucas is like, “shut up antonio, you’re perfect.”

Most common argument?

isco. isco inviting himself to their date night and toni can’t bring himself not to because he doesn’t want to assume EVEN THO IT’S BEEN THEIR STANDING DATE NIGHT FOR TWO MONTHS! isco kissing him too much and lucas gets jealous which toni then has to pretend not to like (MENTIRAS!) isco poking lucas’ butt and suddenly toni stops in the middle of his own rondo and grumps at the air. ISCO!

Favorite non-sexual activity?

first of all, they’re both virgins, so jot that down. second, i really feel like they’re those couples that go immediately into married olds? so like…they grocery shop together. they go to ikea and hold hands and try out new couches. they test drive new cars bc antonio vroom vroom cruz likes the wind in all three hairs that he got. just normal day-to-day things but, together.

Who is most likely to carry the other?

lucas, if only because he’s more likely to jump on toni without advance warning. altho, antonio jump on him that time with the banger of a golazo SO LIKE BOTH!

Nicknames?

antonio!!! antonio cruz, my dude. and like once a year, probably on their anniversary, once they’ve cleaned up the wreckage of whatever debacle of a “surprise party” isco has taken it upon himself to throw them, when they’re half-passed out on top of each other on the couch, and lucas grins up from where his head’s resting on toni’s chest, toni’s gonna brush his soft hair back and smile back all dopey and smitten, and whisper, “luqui,” before kissing his forehead gently. and like, i’m gonna 1000% die about it forever.

Who worries the most?

toni. lucas is a spaniard, nacho does all his worrying for him.

Who tops?

first of all, VIRGINS!

Who initiates kisses?

luuuuucas. and toni’s grateful because he still hasn’t gotten used to being able to ask for them. thankfully, lucas enjoys manhandling someone who’s strong enough to break pepe’s ribs. PEPE! COLD-BLOODED ENFORCER PEPE! i’m.

Who wakes up first?

toniiiiiiiii. he’s already read through two newspapers before lucas deigns to groggily stick his head into the room.

Who says I love you first?

lucas makes a promise to himself that he’s not going to say it until toni does because like…he’s been loving him for a while now and it’s so obvious to everyone and he doesn’t want to pressure toni into that emotional depth until he’s ready. which is fucking stupid because toni’s like, well i guess he doesn’t love me because he expresses EVERY SINGULAR STRAY THOUGHT HE’S EVER HAD, which means he doesn’t love me, because if he did, he woulda told me by now.

the first time isco finds out, his eyes go wide in surprise, hand coming up onto the countertop as he watches in surprise. james carefully folds the egg whites into the thick chocolate mixtures, slowly turning the bowl until the white disappears. in a silver tray are white ramekins and he spoons out the mixture in nearly perfect without paying attention, humming softly along with anuel under his breath. it’s not until after the chocolate almond souffles are in the oven does he bother to look up at isco, his shocked little face, his mouth hanging just a little open. he smiles sheepishly over at him. isco squints accusatorily. “you never said you could cook!” james’ forehead scrunches. “i didn’t want u to use me for your stomach!” he retorts quickly. isco scoffs. “i’m using you for your dick,” he replies smugly, slipping his hands under the thin tee he’s wearing, palms skimming up his sides. james nuzzles his nose against isco’s cheek. “good,” he replies, before finding his mouth. “not that i mind.”

karim is trying very hard not to complain, so he flexes his toes in the sunlight, stretches his arms up over his head as he stifles a yawn. slides his feet along the soft grass before letting the sound of their conversation back towards him.  “and if you want to paint the room blue, that is perfectly fine, because colors have no gender, because colors are beautiful and for everyone to enjoy.” melia grins up at him, toothy and delighted before pursing her lips up at him. “bisou” she demands, as she always does when someone has delighted her. karim would have to be blind to miss the way james’ cheeks suffuse with pride and joy at the compliment. he groans into his own bicep, hates himself a little for being jealous of his daughter as james kisses her very very softly.

marcelo never calls before he comes over, especially when he brings food. the first few times, james feels guilty, tries to convince him that he’s not lonely, that he’s fine, that he can fend for himself. despite his too-soft face, he /is/ an adult. but after a while, when marcelo stays long enough to drink the beers that james offers him, he realizes that marcelo’s doing it just as much for himself as james. one night marcelo’s babbling about the feijoada before james cups his face in his hands midsentence and kisses him, slow teasing rubs of his mouth before pressing his whole torso against celo. he very nearly drops the big bowl he’s holding in one hand, but james catches it just in time. he’s got him. they manage to get it onto the countertop before laughing into the next kiss, working together to hoist james onto the surface as well. it’s not the best angle but when james finally gets his legs around marcelo’s waist and drags him closer, they both care about little else. thank goodness feijoada heats well.

salome doesn’t like most people who divide her father’s attention but the first time cristiano comes over, he tells her her shoes are pretty. the next time, her backpack. the third time, he brings cookies. one night they’re walking to the car after dinner and she’s tired, a lttle cranky and terribly sleepy. glances over at cristiano, who’s so tall and smells nice, butts her head sleepily against his thigh. he glances down, freezing immediately. she holds out her hand. he frowns a little before leaning down a little scooping her up. she stares at his face and he doesn’t smile, doesn’t speak, just lets her keep watching, deciding. she yawns, drops her head to his shoulder. feels warm and heavy and full.

I AM A FUCKING TREASURE AND YOU WOULD MISS ME IN 0.038 SECONDS

mebbe, MEBBE! i was all, “i don’t like fake marriage bc it’s a trap, both in the trope and in the institution, feminism, etc etc” but then! that annoying non-eu players allotment! guess you’re just going to have to marry someone, james, in order to stay in spain and play. and when jorj brings it up at a dinner he’s hosting, cristiano clears his throat, and opens his mouth, but before he can, there goes benzu, “i will marry him,” and james is like, ?, and jorj is like, ???, and cristiano is like ????????!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡, and marcelo literally doesn’t waste a second before cackling because he loves cristiano but BOY DOES HE LOVE A JOKE MORE

cw: shenanigans! cw: misunderstanding cw: mutual pining cw: JEALOUSY!!!!!!!

fight club. my sistine chapel. my mona lisa. my starry night. my idris elba.

everyone’s in it, but the main core is gigi’s the frontman, zizou and cholo are trainers, bonbon and uncle pat are recruiters, simo, rafinha, james are all fighters and Veronique is the boss. Veronique is always the boss. literally i daydream about pieces of this at random times, usually around a workout.

how likely: like not at all, but

i would read hundreds of thousands of words on cholo being stuck in an elevator. is it with a drunk & sentimental antoine on the night of the ucl draw where he’s all, “when will it be my turn to win the thing?” and cholo’s torn between his instinct to withhold praise when someone’s begging for it and his sudden compulsion to show antoine how special he is. is it with nando after the derby, the loss leaving them both fuming, pissed and exhausted, the adrenaline rush still pulsing through nando, the whole of his body one long ache? is it cristiano, who makes a pointed quip about cholo’s cufflink clashing with his shoe buckle and cholo throws a punch without even aiming properly?