#the fawk

the man in question:

Baby, do you notice me?

+synopsis: hq boys and the one that ruined it all.

+genre: angst; headcanons. 

+characters: bokuto kōtarō, mattsukawa issei, hanamaki takahiro, iwaizumi hajime. 

+warnings: none, except sadness.

+author’s notes: i always write these on impulse decisions. 

+navigation: part i, part ii, part iii.

BŌKUTO KŌTARŌ doesn’t understand why you can’t respect his emotions. he’s happy. why can’t you be happy with him? he understands you’re swamped with college assignments but you should spare him some time, right? he gets it —college stress can be overwhelming, he went through that too. but at least he’s making some time for you. he comes home straight from practice to see that you’re on a videocall with someone and are doing something on a document. what, they’re more important than him? why do you keep telling him that just because his schedule has free-time, yours doesn’t have to? why are you yelling? was he the one to start this fight? he doesn’t want to fight though. all he wanted was to spend some time with you. you’re stressed and tired. but so is he. he’s exhausted beyond his imagination. but why can’t you understand that?

MATTSUKAWA ISSEI doesn’t get why he has to tell you he loves you every time you say it. what’s the point? you know how he feels about you already, so why do you want to know every. single. goddamn. day? why do you say that you want him to say it? to him, it’s just a hindrance he’ll get rid of because of his unwavering personality someday. everyone leaves. you will too, after you see how nonchalant he is about everything. he doesn’t like to portray his emotions with his expressions or his words. but you want affirmation from him. he just can’t give you that—but it hurts him every time he sees you cry. it hurts him because he does love you; he shows it through small actions, but you’re too blind to see them. he cries the night you leave. for the first time in a while, he expresses his emotions through his facial features in such a way that it shocks even the closest of his friends. it hurts him to see you move on, but maybe, the next person who comes along will get to see his emotions more than you ever did. i’ll do it right next time, he promises himself. but when will ‘next time’ come, if not you?

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO is shocked when he sees you sobbing in the bedroom when he comes back home after meeting up with a few friends. you’re wiping your tears the moment you see him, and he slowly learns that the way he jokes around actually hurts you like a thousand pricks cutting into your skin. his words are harsh, he knows that too. but do they really hurt that much? he means it as a joke, he says. he chuckles a little and hugs you a little tighter at night as reassurance, but somehow your insecurities slowly creep behind you. he doesn’t understand why you’re sobbing again—or why you’re packing up your things and leaving. he only stood there for a minute, blinking and processing what just happened. did you seriously just leave? what are you, a six-year-old? why are you getting hurt over pointless things? he didn’t even mean them. he... didn’t mean them, right? you’re overreacting, aren’t you?

IWAIZUMI HAJIME is not a vulnerable man. he’s never been a liability to anyone. he’s always the asset—the strong one of the group whom everyone leans on for help. he doesn’t cry. hell, he doesn’t even show he’s sad. he’s always there when you need him, but you’re always wondering how he doesn’t need you. are you that worthless to him? does he not trust you? no, it’s none of that. you confront him, and he just says things that are the least connected to the argument at hand. things that don’t even matter. “i never cry, okay?!” he shouts. this fight is unnecessary. you don’t want to fight. all you want to know is why he won’t share his problems with you. you don’t get it. you’re exhausted and he’s yelling countless insults as you press your palms to your ears. you don’t want to listen, and neither does he. he’s calling you a lot of names you never expected to come out of his mouth. and then he stops. he steps back, and for once, he’s crying. he’s sorry. he didn’t mean to. but you’re crying too. and you don’t know if it’s really worth it. 

hello boo can u pls dm me their acc ☺️

Send a heart to learn something about my muse ; 

💓 : how does my muse feel about physical intimacy?

Well, I’m glad you asked. OuO 

Thomas as a general rule is very wary of being touched. Even someone a little too close can set him off. It first makes him uncomfortable, because it’s a general reminder than he is in fact a being that people are aware of and can see. And second, it reminds him of the scars he has beneath his clothing, and makes him hyperaware of that. He’s very anxious of them, and when he’s touched it’s amplified to a level that almost sets him into a panic. He’ll feel the need to cover up, move away, etc. It’s very hard for him to even consider showing part of his arms, or even his neck, much less the rest.