duh!

- lydia introduces beetlejuice to untitled goose game and immediately regrets it. beej turns into a goose and Wreaks Havoc on the town.

- lydia just,,,, really likes climbing trees. dunno what to tell you. she just likes being high up, and will bring her camera to get cool shots.

- once they figure out how to leave the house (via beetlejuice), the maitlands start a small garden of fruits, vegetables, and herbs. delia has one too, and hers is mostly flowers and herbs for art purposes. (the maitlands have a section dedicated to plants beej and lyds bring back from the netherworld.)

- speaking of the netherworld, beej starts bringing her on trips when she gets a bit older and her powers as a medium have settled. everyone loves beej’s new breather friend because it’s been forever since they’ve seen a breather/been alive, and she’s pretty cool in general. (bj definitely gloats about how she’s his bffff. lydia just kinda rolls her eyes when she overhears it.)

- someone tries to harm her and gets fucking,,,, Demolished by beetlejuice. (aka, high ranked demon lets his powers go fucking Ham on some lower demon that tries to hurt his sister best friend.)

- on the flip side, beej gets attacked by juno or one of her lackeys, and lydia unleashes her (pretty powerful) medium powers on them. (everyone now knows not to mess with either of them.)

- charles doesn’t know when he adopted this literal trans trash heap of a demon, but he did, and they include him in the holiday cards. (said demon is Very Happy, especially since charles tells everyone that beej is a “very close family friend”)

- delia, charles, and beej will drive around and look at houses in the neighborhood, and critique them. (“ugh, that stone does not suit that house’s design.” “you are absolutely right donna.” “delia.” “whatever.”)

- they all take their family games of monopoly, uno, and risk very seriously. (barbara once nearly broke the table after adam gave her a +4 during a game of uno. adam and beej were also banished to the couch one night for ganging up on her in risk. it doesn’t last long, and the deetz wake up to all 3 of them in a pile on the couch the next morning.)

- when beej wants to follow lydia to school, he’s occasionally change into a rat or ferret and hide in her hoodie pocket. she feeds him little snacks she keeps in her bag. (everyone her class doesn’t understand how she gets away with it, but they get to see a cute animal, so they’re not complaining)

- beej and lydia go to concerts, and when they’re in the pit, beej puts lydia on his shoulders and uses his powers to make himself a bit taller so that she has the best view. (they’ve also definitely snuck backstage before.)

- they all occasionally play a game of some sport together. usually it breaks up into everyone vs beetlejuice and his clones. (he doesn’t usually win because the clones will side with the other team and destroy him.)

- lydia is secretly teaching beetlejuice how to drive. they’ve had a few close calls, but they haven’t caused anything bad enough that bj’s powers couldn’t fix, and they consider that a win.

i honestly don’t know where i come up with most of these,,,, they mostly come from me thinking “hey wouldn’t if be crazy if......”

Barbara: Do you ever wanna talk about your feelings?

Lydia: No

Beetlejuice: I do!

Barbara: I know Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice: Im sad

beetlebabes, just no. begone.

these are just some misc. soft headcanons of these 5 because like. i love them.

(i know there may be some repeats in my lists, but that’s usually because i’m elaborating on them a bit more, or i think they’re pertinent to the list.)

- delia and beetlejuice talk about their pasts a lot. a lot of the time they can be found cuddled on the couch or in bed after. unless it’s a particularly bad day, everyone else lets them have their time.

- just because beetlejuice is dating literally all of her (current) parents, doesn’t mean lydia and beej aren’t still friends. beetlejuice makes sure that they have time to hang out every day, and spends at least one day a week doing whatever the fuck lydia wants to do. (lydia wants to go out in the middle of the night to go get pictures of the graveyard? you’ll bet beej is gonna untangle himself from his partners at 1 am to take her.)

- when bj is out with lydia, the couples do one of 2 things usually: they either hang out all together, or they break up into seperate couples in order to spend time together. (they did marry for a reason y’know. they may love their partners a lot, but they still need some time together.)

- the entire family goes to pride. charles is the shyest one there as he’s never gone, delia and beej have gone to pride many many times in their pasts, the maitlands have gone to a few smaller ones, and lydia is just super excited to be at her first pride. (she brings along a few of her friends so that they can walk around together)

- the 5 are really happy that they can actually act like a couple for once. (while lydia’s off with her friends. she doesn’t like seeing the adults do anything coupley, “that’s gross guys, ew.”)

- beetlejuice uses his power to keep the 2 ghosts in the physical plane during pride for the most part. it’s exhausting, but it’s worth it to see his partners so happy.

- cuddle piles happen often. every person in the house loves them, whether they admit it or not (aka lydia and charles)

- due to the couches just Not having enough space for everyone splits up into pairs for family movie nights. (usually it’s the couples and beej & lydia, but they can change sometimes.)

- the couples each get a couch, beej and lydia pile blankets and pillows on the floor to make a makeshift nest (they maintain that it’s 5x comfier than the couches anyways)

- they get beetlejuice to shower/bathe (semi) regularly, however one or more of his partners has to do it with him, due to his fear of water. (it has something to do with juno, although no one is completely sure what happened.)

- he loves bath bombs. besides the fact that it’s fun, it’s also a sensory thing that makes the baths much more bearable.

- as loud as beej is, sudden loud noise & loud noise & a crowd of people is Torture for him. everyone knows to stick close to him in loud crowds just in case. (he really appreciates it: he struggled with it for A Long Time seeing as parts of the netherworld are super super crowded)

- beej likes playing instruments, and will keep track of what everyone is listening to and will learn it on an instrument and play it for them. (occasionally he plays love songs for his partners. they cry almost every time.)

- delia and lydia share a big interest in the supernatural and herbal medicine. (however they know that doctors are necessary for big things. delia and lydia say Vaccinate Your Fucking Children.)

- beej goes bird watching with charles because he can mimic the birds & turn into them in order to attract more. (this backfires occasionally as birds sometimes try and get.... frisky with him.)

- delia, barbara, and adam like to create/make art together. beetlejuice sometimes joins them, and even though it’s usually not that good, they appreciate everything he makes for them. (although, he surprisingly has a decent amount of skill in sculpting.)

- charles and lydia occasionally go into the city together and go to places they used to frequent when they lived there. the others are usually ready to cuddle the two when they get home

- they do one big group halloween costume every year, and run the best and scariest haunted house for miles (courtesy of the 3 ghosts and 1 goth child)

- when lydia eventually goes off to college, all of them cry. a lot. (whenever charles and delia visit, beej uses his power to bring the maitlands with him on a summons via lydia after the deetzs get to her college)

- she summons beetlejuice occasionally and they Wreak Havoc on the campus.

So I’m going through the “Lydia Deetz” tag on AO3 and I’m seeing beetleb*bes which isn’t far from usual. But it’s ALL EXPLICIT SHIT! Like, it’s all tagged with super gross sexual stuff and it’s literally rated explicit... Like, I just want some cool shit with the Maitland/Deetz household, not fucking “strip tease, daddy kink and forced prostitution”.