#thatwineguy68

I’ve spent enough time on the Internet to think that I can tell a shitposter from a genuinely weird person.  But recently, an account has been plaguing my timeline that has been blurring that line: @thatwineguy68 

His first tweet was on January 25th, and since then he has posted multiple times a day (he tweeted 10 times in the first day alone), all usually following the same format.  A short, vague comment about how much he loves wine that reads similarly to something your grandma would put on Facebook, rife with unnecessary hashtags.  Then, two images: one, a simple stock photo of wine.  The other? His ghastly visage.  A smile composed of teeth that are just slightly too big, in a mouth just slightly off-center from where the outline of his goatee would suggest the mouth should be.  Eyes with pupils so dilated that the whites are barely even visible, outlined by eyebrows that form perfect semicircles.  Perfectly featureless skin like a porcelain doll. A shirt so crumpled you could have told me he did a magic wine spell to take the wrinkles off his face and put them in his shirt, and I’d believe you.  Ears that seem to be getting sucked into a black hole.  Nose that has been airbrushed out of existence.  The fact that it’s a car selfie.  (EDIT: I have since been informed that the picture is a heavily edited version of someone else entirely’s profile picture, which has been used with permission.)

thatwinetroll68

his typing quirk is just. the way thatwineguy68 types. with the hashtags

his horns are a # and a wine glass

he's a rustblood because of the colour of #RedWine