It's been almost six months anything happened on that front.

How much longer until I get Thastrid back on my dash?  

He wasn't doing anything much. Just sitting at the table, smiling, like he did in the mornings after the coffee was made. Funny how something as simple as a smile could make me go all to pieces.

He didn't say anything. He just smiled, then laughed...that deep, booming chuckle that was always so infectious...and he held his hand out to me. I reached out to take it...

...And woke up.

There was a book on my lap. I'd nodded off reading the old Norse tales again.

Silly as it sounds, my first instinct was to look over at the table, and foolishly, I half-expected to see him there. Of course he wasn't. He wasn't there and he never will be again. He isn't anywhere in this world that I can reach.

All it took was just thinking that and suddenly I just couldn't stop crying.

I never told anyone, but when I was ill, I was half-hoping that it was the end. I was actually sort of disappointed that Tony managed to find a countermeasure in time. For the first time in my life, despite all the noise I made about being too young, I actually wanted to die.

Because it meant I might be with him again.

This pleases me.