#thanx4nothing

I want to give my thanks to everyone for everything, and as a token of my appreciation, I want to offer back to you all my good and bad habits as magnificent priceless jewels, wish-fulfilling gems satisfying everything you need and want, thank you, thank you, thank you, thanks.

May every drug I ever took come back and get you high, may every glass of vodka and wine I’ve drunk come back and make you feel really good, numbing your nerve ends allowing the natural clarity of your mind to flow free, may all the suicides be songs of aspiration, thanks that bad news is always true, may all the chocolate I ever eaten come back rushing through your bloodstream and make you feel happy, thanks for allowing me to be a poet a noble effort, doomed, but the only choice.

I want to thank you for your kindness and praise, thanks for celebrating me, thanks for the resounding applause, I want to thank you for taking everything for yourself and giving nothing back, you were always only self-serving, thanks for exploiting my big ego and making me a star for your own benefit, thanks that you never paid me, thanks for all the sleaze, thanks for being  mean and rude and smiling at my face, I am happy that you robbed me, I am happy that you lied I am happy that you helped me, thanks, grazie, merci beaucoup.

May you smoke a joint with William, and spend intimate time with his mind, more profound than any book he wrote, I give enormous thanks to all my lovers, beautiful men with brilliant minds, great artists, Bob, Jasper, Ugo, may they come here now and make love to you, and may my many other lovers of totally great sex, countless lovers of boundless fabulous sex countless lovers of boundless fabulous sex countless lovers of boundless fabulous sex in the golden age of promiscuity may they all come here now, and make love to you, if you want, may each of them hold each of you in their arms balling to your hearts delight. balling to your hearts delight balling to your hearts delight balling to your hearts delight.               May all the people who are dead Allen, Brion, Lita, Jack, and I do not miss any of you I don’t miss any of them, no nostalgia, it was wonderful we loved each other but I don’t want any of them back, now, if any of you are attracted to any of them, may they come back from the dead, and do whatever is your pleasure, may they multiply, and be the slaves of whomever wants them, fulfilling your every wish and desire, (but you won’t want them as masters, as they’re demons), may Andy come here fall in love with you and make each of you a superstar, everyone can have Andy. everyone can have Andy. everyone can have Andy, everyone can have an Andy.

Huge hugs to the friends who betrayed me, every friend became an enemy, sooner or later, I am delighted you are vacuum cleaners sucking everything into your dirt bags, you are none other than a reflection of my mind.

Thanks for the depression problem and feeling like suicide everyday of my life, and now that I’m seventy, I am happily almost there.                                   Twenty billion years ago, in the primordial wisdom soup beyond comprehension and indescribable, something without substance moved slightly, and became something imperceptible, moved again and became something invisible, moved again and produced a particle and particles, moved again and became a quark, again and became quarks, moved again and again and became protons and neutrons, and the twelve dimensions of space, tiny fire balls of primordial energy bits tossed back and forth in a game of catch between particles, transmitting electromagnetic light and going fast, 40 million times a second, where the pebble hits the water, that is where the trouble began, something without substance became something with substance, why did it happen? because something substance less had a feeling of missing out on something, not getting it was not getting  it not getting it, not getting it, imperceptibly not having something when there was nothing to have, clinging to a notion of reality; from the primordially endless potential, to modern day reality, twenty billion years later, has produced me, gave birth to me and my stupid grasping mind, made me and you and my grasping mind.

May Rinpoche and all the great Tibetan teachers who loved me, come back and love you more, hold you in their wisdom hearts, bathe you in all-pervasive compassion, give you pith instructions, and may you with the diligence of Olympic athletes do meditation practice, and may you with direct confidence realize the true nature of mind.

America, thanks for the neglect, I did it without you, let us celebrate poetic justice, you and I never were, never tried to do anything, and never succeeded, I want to thank you for introducing me to the face of the naked mind, thanx 4 nothing.